Listening: A Powerful Skill for Women of Color in Big Law

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

― Maya Angelou

Lawyer are trained to give advice, not to listen. Research on listening indicates that we spend about 80% of our waking hours communicating: writing 9%, reading 16%, speaking 30%, and 45 to 50 % of our day engaged in listening, to people, music, TV, radio, etc. Much of that time, we're distracted, or our attention is fractured and partial. To make matters worse, we remember less than 10% of what we've been told or heard. Yet, less than five percent of us have ever concentrated on developing our skills in listening or received listening training in the workplace. When lawyers hear these numbers, they often say: “This is so interesting. I know that I spend hours preparing to speak, to solve problems and give advice. I don’t think I’ve ever consciously prepared to listen.”

Preparing to listen is supported by attention.  Here are 5 practices to sharpen your attention and to enhance your readiness to listen fully to another and yourself.

·      Notice when you choose to listen and when you choose not to listen.

·      Notice what it’s like to give another person your undivided attention without advising, correcting, or fixing.

·      Notice when you start to interrupt someone and what happens when you do or don't.

·      Notice what happens when someone stops speaking and you ask an open question, such as, “Is there anything else?”

·      Notice what happens when you let go of your agenda to be present with another.