LIVE COPY CRITIQUE – HOW TO WRITE INSANELY BETTER HEADLINES

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What does it take to write an ad, headline, or subject line that’s impossible to ignore?

Come along with me as I take you through one of my favorite copywriting exercises ever…

I’m going to let you look over my shoulder as I critique this copy from ReMarkable. And 6 other variations of it – submitted by the Posse community. 

What made them great, what left me wanting more, and what would make them even more powerful?

If you’re following me on LinkedIn,  then you’ve probably seen my regular “Make It Hotter” posts. Where I find an ad, headline, or subject line – and put it out to the community to… you guessed it – “Make It Hotter”!

Not only is this one of my FAVORITE ways to practice, but it’s also a great way to see how other copywriters think…

Which ultimately helps you better understand WHY certain things work and WHY certain things don’t… 

And, the BEST part of this exercise for me is when I get to put on my Posse Prof spectacles and critique the top-voted submissions.

So in today’s blog, I’m going to take you through one of my latest editions of “Make It Hotter” and break down my critiques of each Ad – point by point. 

So let’s get started.

First, let’s take a look at this post – where I asked the Posse community to make this ad even hotter.

This was an ad for everyone’s favorite paperless tablet – ReMarkable. If you know me, you know that I LOVE my ReMarkable!

Now here’s their original ad copy… 

Ready to replace your notebooks with something smarter? Keep all your work on a single, slim device. reMarkable 2. Order yours today. Perfect for paper people.

Not bad…

But I gotta admit I liked these Posse-fied versions WAY better. 

But before I get to my critique of the submissions, first let’s critique ReMarkable’s original copy… What worked? What was lacking? And what could be better?

Now, the first thing I notice is the hook they’re using. 

They are directly calling out notebook hoarders (hello, it’s me! haha). They say “Ready to replace your notebooks with something smarter?” I think that’s great. 

Then they pivot into one of the selling points of the ReMarkable: “Keep all your work on a single, slim device.”

It’s good – but could it be better?

Because most people who are drawn to the ReMarkable aren’t drawn to it because they want to add yet another “slim device” to their repertoire. 

The target audience of ReMarkable wants to maintain the distraction-free experience of writing on paper… but without all the clutter and disorganization of it. So I would love to see this pivot section have a more enticing benefit. 

Then they end with their call to action: “Order yours today. Perfect for paper people. ”

I actually love this CTA. 

Because again, they are directly calling out their audience – people who love notebooks and the experience of writing on paper…

But one thing I would change here is switching up the order of those. 

So instead, it would say: “Perfect for paper people. Order yours today.”That way the very LAST THING a person reads is the action you want them to take – which is ordering a ReMarkable. It’s a small tweak, but you’d be surprised how impactful it could be. 

Overall, this is an Ad that I would say is good…

But let’s see what the Posse thinks…

And don’t worry about taking notes on this formula, because I have free guide for you that will break each one of these steps down for you. 

Now, a hot headline should…

1. Hook Attention – start with a concept or idea that grabs the reader’s attention by either provoking an emotion (fear, joy, controversy, FOMO, nostalgia, etc.) OR promising a desired result or clear USP (unique selling proposition). 
2. Open A Loop – pique curiosity & incentivize your audience to read further.
3. Target Your Audience – making it crystal clear exactly who you are speaking.

Alright, so now let’s take a look at the Posse’s submissions – along with my critique of them.

These 6 ads were selected for critique because they received the most amount of “likes” or “votes” from the community.

Let’s take a look….

#1 – Exhausted from flipping through pages trying to find your notes? Try reMarkable, the world’s thinnest tablet, and have all your notes in hand with a touch of your finger. Stop flipping and start tapping.

#2 – Who says slim can’t go digital? Take your notes everywhere without the noticeable bulge in the bag. Smart just went reMARKable to the power of 2.0. Order your smarter notebook today.

#3 – You have great ideas, but they can be made reMarkable. Get the pad that never forgets.

#4 – Paper Companies Fear This! Here’s Why: It is smarter, it is slimmer, and it is reMarkable 2. Order now! Only 3 left at $500.

#5 – Heavy writing just got lighter! Why carry multiple notebooks when you can have the new reMarkable 2? A single tablet with the capacity of a hundred notebooks.

#6 – A notebook that can keep up with the speed of your brilliant thoughts? Meet your digital think tank: the new reMarkable 2.

Everyone did such a great job on this exercise.

Now, if you want to play along in the next edition of “Make It Hotter” be sure to follow me on LinkedIn here.

If you liked this article and want to see more in-depth critiques like it in the future, make sure to subscribe to my newsletter The Right Phrase Pays here on LinkedIn and be notified when my next tutorial goes LIVE. 

And don’t forget to grab a copy of my FREE H.O.T. Headline Guide—so you can learn exactly how to write headlines that grab attention and stop scrollers in their tracks.

Thanks for reading and subscribing!

Alex

Alex Cattoni is the Founder of the Copy Posse Agency and Academy. Since 2011, she has launched several successful brands and has proudly partnered with many of the hottest transformational brands and businesses on the planet, writing high-converting sales copy, scaling multi-million dollar brands, and crafting iconic promotional campaigns.

Today, she’s on a mission to mobilize the raddest, baddest crew of authentic copywriters with a passion for creating community, credibility and conversions with nothing but powerful and precise wording.

Through her weekly YouTube videos, Alex helps copywriters, aspiring copywriters and entrepreneurs learn, write and ignite their businesses with words that work.