Living with the Older Generation - Those who cared for us Our Parents

Today in our fast paced life, we often seclude our parents, or get into a wild chaos living with them as we cannot match with their way of thinking, their way of doing things. There is a solution for this. Our parents are the ones who raised us up, took the pain of punctuality, cost saving, sacrifice of own desires and needs only to give us a better life. You cannot imagine the pain they went through in a single day to meet your needs. As it is mentioned in the Quran in surah Al Imran (I invite everyone to recite the Surah and find the verse) - we must respect and take care of our parents.

Here are ways I have found useful to live with the older generation and not feel trapped or do injustice to ourselves or them:

1. Always listen to them when they are talking, do not interrupt:

An old person loves to talk, they might be talking on and on about the silliest of things as they get caught up and cannot stop. Please be patient and listen. They love the company and will be pleased with you that you have respected their words.

2. Try to do the work they have to do every day in advance so they have little workload for the day:

My mother always does the housework and cooking and cleaning as if it is her duty, she doesn't stop. Telling her to stop doesn't work. So, I try my best to do the work in advance for her (the ones she wouldn't mind me doing) so her workload is reduced.

3. Stay conscious of their needs (which are minimal):

The old people have very little needs. It might be continuous needs but if you count the monetary value according to your own needs, it is nothing. It might be limited to coconut oil, facial creme or butter for breakfast. Please be conscious of their needs as they really need those things they use and will feel uncomfortable if they do not have them.

4. Do not put them in a budget (they have put themselves in a budget all their lives for you):

Our parents have lived in a budget and mostly cut their own budget to give you that uniform or tuition fees or books that you needed all their lives. Try to give them more now that you are old and capable. Do not put them into difficulty by calculating their expenditures or making them live in a budget.

5. Try to schedule your time to be with them for at least 1 hour every day:

Our parents need us more than we need them now that they are old. Try to be with them at least for an hour every day. You might be there for something very important which you would regret if you were absent. Do not miss on being there for them.

6. Do not argue with them if they are wrong, however do what is right and good for them:

Old people will become like babies at times. They might ask for the wrong thing that might not benefit them. Do not argue. Show patience and respect and remember that they showed you outmost patience when you were a baby asking for this and that. Do what is good for them keeping them happy, not hurting them in a balanced way.

7. Always smile and be in a happy mode because they can sense if you are sad and it only makes them tensed:

A parent who has the worst of humans as a son or a daughter still feels for their child. So, remember that your sad face makes them sad. They will become tensed if you are sad. Please do not make them tensed. Keep a smiley face there for them at all times.

8. Love and take care of them as much as you can as life is short:

You might feel that doing all of the above is tiring and at times it is tiring. But keep up the good work. Your life is short and so are theirs. You will be rewarded by the Almighty Allah for all of your good deeds.

May Allah grant us to be a caring son and daughter while we have the chance. Our society needs us.