The long walk to Freedom

Freedom. Noun.

The power or right to act, speak or think as one wants.

Don't know about you but I've lowered the bar in terms of expectations from life right now. I don't want to go to the pub, I know a holiday is out of the question for the foreseeable, I'm not stamping my feet insisting that restaurants open, I accept that my son will be home schooling and I am OK with limiting my company on walks in the park to my immediate family and the dogs.

As long as it's not forever.

So what I want to see is a way out of this. I want to feel as though people in positions of power and leadership are vaguely competent and acting in our best interests, not their own. I'm looking for evidence that we are making some progress and signs that slowly but surely some of those freedoms we took so much for granted will be restored.

I'd also like a bit of entertainment along the way. This week? So far, so good.

Enter the Terminator

This time last week the world took a collective gasp of disbelief as Trump's supporters followed his instructions and marched on the Capitol. Violence, mayhem and death ensued. Surely this was time for a Republican heavyweight to step in, reshape the narrative and restore order.

This crisis called for a well known, highly respected, seasoned operator; a diplomat with geopolitical gravitas and perspective. Henry Kissinger springs to mind. Sadly, Henry is well into his nineties but, thankfully, this being America there were plenty of other figures ready to weigh in. None of them - including Henry - could have been better suited to the job than Arnie.

On reflection, it was entirely fitting that the ex-reality TV show president was denounced by the ex-Barbarian, ex-Terminator, ex-Governor of California. Arnie, or Arnold as he'd probably prefer, sat there, with lots of flags behind him and several badges on his uniform, bluntly telling the world that Trump is "the worst president ever." And that what he did to incite violence and deny the validity of the vote was utterly despicable. Or words to that effect.

(He looked a little maniacal in the eye but that could well be down to the years of botox).

Whilst I did love the straight talking, I have to say that the ABSOLUTE best bit was when he started waiving Conan the Barbarian's sword around. As though his conclusion was going to be "Off with his head". I was almost disappointed when it was more prosaic, something about democracy being like the steel of a sword.

Wonderful. Give the man an Oscar.

Be careful what you wish for

While Arnie was doing his stuff, another bunch of self-appointed super-heroes were also plotting their revenge. Twitter was first out of the blocks, banning Trump from the platform, swiftly followed by Facebook , Google and You Tube. And to be belt and braces about shutting him up, Amazon Web Services suspended Parler.

Are we supposed to be happy about this? Is that how the world works now? We hand over decisions about free speech to a bunch of Californian tech billionaires? Larry, Sergey, Mark, Jeff, Jack et al are SOOOOOO whiter than white that we're happy to defer such decision making to them? Hold on a minute.

In what feels like another world, I spent 5 years as a magistrate. It was a bit old fashioned and extremely inefficient but we followed this really antiquated process. There were laws, rules and regulations and if someone thought you'd broken them, you were accused and then it was up to you to admit it or stump up a defence. And then, based on an honest assessment of the facts and evidence presented, the magistrates or jury decided whether you were guilty or not.

As I say, it was a bit tiresome and long winded but it sort of felt fair. The alternative would perhaps have been to let the most powerful man in the city (e.g. the mayor, a Boris Johnson type figure who could spout a lot of Latin) make a decision. Somehow I prefer the long winded approach.

Could our leaders, politicians and regulators please get a move on and rein in those tech billionaires before it's too late.

What about me me me

Not to be outdone by Arnie, Melania donned her own semi-military outfit and stood in front of some flags to say something ...

The big problem, though, was that, unlike Arnie, who is a pro and realised that a speech needs a script, she didn't really have very much to say.

(She did seem to have the same maniacal look about the eyes though ... again, perhaps down to the Botox ...)

Rather than dwell on what was going on at the Capitol, she chose to focus on complaining about "salacious gossip, unwarranted personal attacks and false, misleading accusations .... ABOUT ME."

Like, as if ANYONE was paying ANY attention to Melania last week. Or ever. Apart from when she wore that coat that said "I DON'T CARE DO YOU?" on the back of it, even her choice of clothes and footwear is irrelevant. No-one wears 9 inch stilettos any more and whereas we all rushed to google "Where did Michelle get that cardigan?" from, I don't think Melania has influenced anyone to google anything.

Talking of Stilettos

Sex in the City is coming back. They're going to call it "And Just Like That." And there will only be three of the original cast of four because Kim Cattrall has fallen out with the others.

I'm not holding my breath. Not just because of the stilettos issue (the show was essentially about fashion, sex and friendship) but because of this Kim problem.

As a woman in my fifties (I presume that's how old they're all going to be) I can definitely tell you that by the time you get here the last thing you are going to do is ditch an old mate. Whatever arguments you might have had in your thirties (the source of which is very likely to be to do with husbands or children), you have got over them by now.

I have honestly never needed my friends more than I do now. And since we're all stomping around in jumpers, comfortable trousers and trainers I don't really think Sex in the City is going to float our boats. No, we prefer our female role models to be sardonic, witty and ever so slightly real-looking. Think Nicola Walker in Last Tango in Halifax. Or Sarah Lancashire as Catherine Cawood in Happy Valley

The Wedding Slot

Remember last week when I told you that the head of the Marriage Foundation was urging young people to be more sensible with their wedding plans. He was thinking about location, cost and the like. But my heart went out this week to this inspired woman who, forced to reduce the size of her wedding party, chose her two grandmothers as bridesmaids. (Photo by Kristian Levan).

If this doesn't give you faith in human nature, what will.

Highlights/Lowlights from a week in politics

I've decided they don't merit a full paragraph each, but here are a few happenings from a week in politics here in the UK. You can decide yourself if they are highlights or lowlights.

• Matt Hancock refusing to answer Piers Morgan's question about whether he regretted voting against extending free school meals. He began every deflection with "I'm glad ..." Went on for a good half an hour apparently. Haven't they learnt from the Jeremy Paxman debacle?
• Boris Johnson saying how appalled he was about the quality of the infamous free school meals pack provided by the Government appointed provider, despite it bearing an uncanny resemblance the example given, by the said Government, to the said provider about what is acceptable.
• Gavin giving us an update on plans now that GCSE and A level exams are cancelled. He said "We are exploring the possibility of externally set tasks or papers to help teachers assess grades ..." Exams, then. Clear as mud.
• Matt Hancock (him again) boasting about the UK's performance in rolling out the vaccine. Why? A. the reason we're in this mess is because this is a GLOBAL PANDEMIC. Vaccines only work if you get about 80% of the population vaccinated (depending on the disease). It's like being super proud that all kid born in London are vaccinated against measles whilst not worrying about the kids in Rotherham. And B. You can't pick and choose the stats you want to boast about. Have you seen him on TV talking about the excess deaths numbers? No, thought not.

Reasons to be Cheerful - the Big Picture

I think we'll be OK. I do think there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Two reasons:

1. The NHS. It has its detractors but at a time like this, having healthcare free at the point of use and a system that holds records for every single person in the country (just about), however inefficiently, must be gold dust.
2. We Brits love a queue. We will wait in line. We will do as we're told. We will have the vaccine when it's our turn.

Reasons to be Cheerful - on a personal note

In my professional life (which, to be fair, overlaps pretty neatly with the rest of my life, most of it taking place at the same kitchen table) I help women get jobs. Women, typically, who are trying to get their careers back on track after a career break.

After a fairly traumatic Autumn, when I thought it was all over, I'm now back with renewed enthusiasm. I've found there's nothing like a global pandemic and potential economic meltdown for helping you to find your voice and do some straight talking.

The women I work with don't need to know about diversity targets, they don't care about the business case, they are unimpressed by awards and fancy websites. What they need are jobs. So that's what I'm doing. Finding women jobs. I'm channelling Arnie & his straight talking. And you know what? So far so good ...

Is it really still January? Boy does this month last forever ...

Have a good week folks.