Loss of a spouse or loved one... TILL DEATH DO US PART ?

Because i walk many paths through life, one being theology in addition to engineering. I have chosen to write about something that is very important to me and that which has effected me deeply. I think it is important to others as well. So i will share what i have learned in my walk through the valley of the shadow of death.

What of our loved ones ? You see i knew my wife and i were joined together in our mind, spirit and soul, not only to each other but through God who gives us the love we have for each other, such a love is eternal and everlasting, it is most certainly NOT until death do us part, that is for those who, by the hardness of their heart, have a problem with lust, it is not for those who have eyes to see and ears to hear.

It is said we will be like Him. Who ? Jesus in His resurrection. Do we see Him is His resurrected body, a body we our selves will also have ? YES.

Is he some dumb spirit blob floating around saying "PRAISE GOD PRIASE GOD PRAISE GOD... NO He praises God by His actions even in His resurected Body with full sentience.

How does he do it. well he knows his apostles He speaks to them continues to teach them, cooks breakfast for them, directs them to catch fish. He comforts them.

You see ? it is very clear what Heaven is like and that we shall indeed know each other and care for each other as on earth so in Heaven.

Who has revealed this to me ? No priest, no pastor, no minister, though some do have eyes that see but are often afraid to speak. I know these things by the Living Word, By the living Creation, by praying without ceasing and by meditation and careful study.

And God often asks me what i want, tonight i finally figured it out. I want my Sue to be happy in Heaven, i want everything satan stole from her and from us (our daughter and i and her family) restored to her in Heaven and here on earth. satan has no right to keep these things, they are bought and paid for by Jesus Sacred Blood and satan must yield to Jesus Victory, even satan must submit to Jesus Victory, I want her to be in the Arms of Jesus and to feel the love and comfort of the Heavenly Father. This what i want. Since God has allowed her to be taken before her time, before i was finished ministering to her, i have a right to still interceed for her, she is till my wife and always will be my wife. It is the same with my relatives who passed before i knew enough to minister to them, so God must minister to them in my place, it is not their fault i was not ready and able to minister to them.

As for those filled with lust who see the carnal part of marriage, who have no concept of an eternal spiritual union (with the Holy Spirit) and union of the soul (mind and human spirit) ... you may disagree, i feel very sad for you and i will pray for you that you may pass from death into life.

FLASHBACK:

When my wife was told she had 3 weeks to live, i was beside myself. She needed to be saved in all aspects, we lived a common good life, not religious as some would say.

Well, there is a great deal of hypocrisy in the church and neither my wife nor i had any great tolerance for it, people who smile at you in church with oblong smiles and cut off in the parking lot.

But this was real and the clock was ticking fast. I had three things i had to do, save my wife spiritually, physically and mentally (forgiveness.. the soul).

I started with the church, all denominations, they were all useless, they had no more idea of who God was than a box of rocks, all i did was lecture them on what true religion was, they could not argue with me but they also could not accept the truth, because their eyes were closed by the eyes of the worl through which they saw.

So i began to minister to my wife, something i had never done. She would ask me how i knew i was right when the entire world said otherwise. I said, you have a valid question. I knew much of post modern America has become dumb beyond stupid, worldly.

Today, those who know nothing write books by sitting at a computer with cut and paste as their wisdom, producing a very random and chaotic assemblage of words, not worth the paper they are written on and about as spiritually nourishing and bland as eating that paper.

I bought old books written over 100 to 400 years ago, during the last outpouring of the Holy Spirit, and going back to the first century church, written by Holy Men who prayed and studied a lifetime and who lived their faith. These became my spiritual advisors, since i could find no one living who was qualified to fill that role. God has truly blessed me, i have not one but thousands now. and i meditate on these words, most are accurate in the illumination of the Holy Spirit, but not one is perfect but the errros are few and minor unlike the errors of our post modern theoligists who live and follow rather the wisdom of the world than that of God. So it was, until i found my advisors, i was pulling my hair out in a panic as i went from one blithering idiot to another whose hearts were far from God, who had nothing for my wife, who only offered up human adages and platitudes rather than the true living Word of God. i had to find the true answer and its confirmation for my wife.

Indeed these writings confirmed all of my beliefs which i also arrived at by study , prayer and meditation on God and His Creation and the illumination of the hOly Spirit as i turned away from all sin and sought God with my heart and soul.

Eventually, i learned enough and (which i had to continually negate after he spoke to her) i led my wife to the Lord, to Forgiveness, to the Cross of Christ, i found new treatments, having to fight her chemo oncologist which as a mere technician ignorant of all the ways to fight cancer. He stole hope, took money and performed work that required little IQ, or mental accuity. He, as many people who serve the world rather than God as so many do today was like a fly, he ate sh*t and bothered people. She lived for a year and 4 months, it was actually the chemo that killed her, by damaging her heart, because the side effects of the chemo were not treated but rather ignored by our oncologist.

So of course after she passed i was destroyed, losing a spouse is the worst thing you can experience. It can not be explained to another, it is not possible. I would jump out bed at 2:00 AM, throw off the covers and pace around the house in torment.

It has been 5 years and i still do not sleep at night.

My priest convinced me to go to a grief sharing program . I said no it was written by lay people, it is not based on my faith. He told me he had selected a deacon to present it and correct it.

I went and it almost destroyed me, it took me three years of study, prayer and meditation to banish the lies of the world, such as

till death to you part, now move on, your wife is gone.

forget them, she is dead, she is floating aound in heaven, she does not know who you are or even care.

do not turn to scripture, people will use it to bet you over the head.

Finally i told this "Deacon"" i am about fed up with you and this program. the bible is the basis of our church. He told me NO. I said WHAT ?. He said "Solo no scripturs" I said fine but all liturgy MUSt conform to scripture, he said NO. The bible is not a basis of our church. i asked ahy ? i was told "Because mans understanding of it changes as society changes. Now I said NO, you are wrong, the understanding you speak of is based on mans wisdom as seen through his blind eyes. Real christians see through the eyes of Heaven, by the Holy Spirit, and this view never changes, It is the same yesterday today and forever. i told him he must study scripture and pray without ceasing if he wants to serve God. he was as the pharisee. It did no good to speak to that which is dead, only prayer can help them.

What of our loved ones ? You see i knew my wife and i were joined together in our mind, spirit and soul, not only to each other but through God who gives us the love we have for each other, such a love is eternal and everlasting, it is most certainly NOT until death do us part, that is for those who, by the hardenss of their heart, have a problem with lust, it is not for those who have eyes to see and ears to hear.

It said we will be like Him. Who ? Jesus in His resurrection. Do we see Him is His resurrected body, a body we our selves will also have ? YES.

Is he some dumb spirit blob floating around saying "PRAISE GOD PRIASE GOD PRAISE GOD... NO He praises God by His actions even in His resurected Body.

How does he do it. well he knows his apostles He speaks to them continues to teach them, cooks breakfast for them, directs them to catch fish. He comforts them.

You see ? it is very clear what Heaven is like and thaat we shall indeed know each other and care for each other as on earth so in Heaven.

Who has revealed this to me ? No priest, no pastor, no mnister, though some do have eyes that see but are often afraid to speak. I know these things by he Living Word, By the living Creation, by praying without ceasing and by meditation and careful study.

And God often asks me what i want, tonight i finally figured it out. I want my Sue to be happy in Heaven, i want everything satan stolre from her and from us restored to he in Heaven. I want her to be in the Arms of Jesus and to feel the love and comfort of the Heavenly Father. This what i want. Since God has allowed her to be taken before her time, i have a right to still interceed for her, she is till my wife and always will be my wife.

As for those filled with lust who see the carnal part of marriage, who have no concept of an eternal spiritual union (with the Holy Spirit) and union of the soul (mind and human spirit) ... you may disagree, i feel very sad for you and i will pray for you that you may pass from death into life.