this made me want to throw up

The other night I was having dinner in Bellevue, Zurich, with my friend Jeannette. 

And she mentioned one of her friends back in Germany.

This friend has a good college degree and had a good career start after she had graduated. 

And then, at some point, she got married and had kids.

Her husband was a high earner with a career in banking.

And because raising kids and having two full-blown careers usually feel like mission impossible… 

… she stopped working to care for the kids while her husband continued to go full speed with his job.

And just like that, an equal and fulfilling relationship evolved into something very different, which looks like this:

He can put all his energy into his rewarding career.

Challenging projects, deadlines, meeting interesting people all the time, negotiating, learning, pushing, and developing himself professionally…

… with his financial compensation rising in parallel.

 And she went from an interesting job and career to…

Cooking, doing the laundry, bringing the kids to school, dealing with homework, tidying the house., etc…

… for no financial compensation other than being entirely dependent on her husband.

And here is where the story gets really messed up.

The problem with this kind of scenario is that what started with a great relationship becomes a very unbalanced one.

One when the guy has all the financial power AND the luxury of spending lots of time away from home...

… on the pretext that this is "work-related" (even when it's not, or not really...)

… while his wife is homebound (and often lonely and exhausted) because she's always there for the kids.

(and that part of the story feels sooo very familiar to me…) 

 And then, Jeannette told me that in another twist that also sounds very familiar to me… 

 … all the professional and financial success of the husband is getting to his head.

He kind of feels like he is the king of the world and behaves as such.

(Read: He is always gone and has tons of affairs) 

And his wife feels completely powerless.

Because leaving him has so many heavy consequences for her kids.

... AND also because it would mean having to dramatically lower her living standards.

And possibly run into borderline poverty when she gets older. 

And here is how this sob story relates to investing:

Investing is a completely different ball game.

Your portfolio doesn't care if you're a woman or a man (or anything in between).

Your portfolio doesn't *expect* you to take on a particular gender role, which makes you dependent on someone else.

Your portfolio doesn't care about the status and evolution of your relationship.

Instead, your portfolio performance and evolution will depend only on your strategy.

And on how consistent you are with sticking to that strategy over decades.

That's why if you ask me, investing is a lot safer and more predictable...

... than relying on a husband for financial security. 🙃

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That’s all I had for you today!

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