I had a conversation with my friend the other day after weeks of crazy travel and the conclusion of another semester in the books. She looked at me and said, "you seem different; what has changed regarding your thoughts on your life at this point." I looked her straight in the eyes and without hesitation said, "my perception of success has been flawed, but now, I know what I want it to actually look like."
What's crackin, good citizens? Welcome back to another week of Street Smarts! I hope all 600+ of you are doing well, continuing to push toward success, and smelling the roses along the way! 🌹
I have been so fortunate lately, as life is starting to become more streamlined and I (much like y'all) am gaining a much more vivid picture of fulfillment! On my most recent flight [somewhere up there], I started to think deeply about where I had been in life...and where I was going! During my brainstorm on the plane, the symbolism of takeoff and ascending into (and eventually above) the clouds sparked an empowering clarity of mind. I smiled, I cried, and ultimately I came to a pivotal realization: I have never felt more 'authentically' myself than I do in this current stage. Furthermore, the eventual debriefing conversation I had with my friend then led to a deeper level of understanding of what I experienced! She said, "good friend, it sounds like you are getting closer to your essence."
Now let's be real, y'all all know how much I value being a straight shooter. Since a child, I have always worked to 'keep it G' at all times and continue to engage in activities that authentically suit my dreams, goals, needs, wants, desires, and overall philosophy of life. That said, I am sure you can imagine my trepidation when I felt a shift in my operation of life (which happened about a year ago to date). Y'all know what this is like, right? Them times where you are keeping it real and walking the path that you know is for you...then you look up one day, reflect, and think, "wait, what's going on here? How did I get here? This is still me, right?" Of course, I laughed to myself because it was easy to bring myself back to surface and admit that I den came a long way (as many of us have). Interestingly enough, we all have moments where we realize just how far we have come...and if you are anything like me, you also continually assess if that distance traveled has changed anything about our authentic, foundational wiring. This is an important process to invite because the road to success can be fast, crazy, and roller-coaster-like sometimes--and it is important to continually check in and make sure that we don't lose our true essence along the way!
I am still on the journey, but as the plane has just cleared the clouds and I look out this window to a garden of rolling clouds...allow me to share a few tips to ensure that we all keep the authenticity of our hearts at the center of our efforts to continually climb to higher altitudes.
- Define your success carefully, but not too rigidly - First and foremost, I try to ensure that my people remember the importance of clearly defining the goal at hand. What exactly does success mean? What does it look like? How exactly will success be achieved, regarding the necessary milestones, accomplishments, and what we in the management world call 'dates and gates?' It is important to define the goal (or, the mission) of our cause from jump, especially considering the way that all moves we make would be best served if they are leading us toward our ultimate goal. Some steps may be large, and others may be small, but regardless, it is important to remember that two steps back and three steps forward is still one step forward--toward the goal. I must also mention that too much rigidity regard success can be detrimental to the sustainability of the vision. It has been said that we should aim for the moon because if we miss, we will still land amongst the stars--and I thoroughly believe that this is an important way to envision the road to success. Aim high, but with caution. We should always remember that sometimes, what we thought was the north star (the major endpoint) might actually be a simple milestone along the long road that we are yet to travel. The point is, it is important to allow oneself to dream big and pursue the success that we see in our visions--while also understanding that success may change and our vision may follow suit.
- Remember your why - It's important to remember why we started the journey to begin with. For some of us out there, people run with the 'success is the best revenge' mentality...but true success is best sustained when we remember the authenticity in our reasoning for starting the journey in the first place. This is why it is important to know oneself and understand exactly what the driving force is behind ongoing moves (and motives). For example, some of us start the journey for reasons like the value of distinction, the desire to prove people wrong, the want for 'more' than we were given early in life, or potentially a simple change of life that will increase our fulfillment. Some of those reasons are more productive than others, but allow me to offer a leadership directive: focus on the roots. At the very nucleus of desire, why is success so important? Sustainability is the most important aspect of the journey, and the 'why' is central ingredient! Stereotypically-negative emotions like anger and/or resentment tend to work against our goals in the long run, so it will be important to mitigate those aspects and use them purely for fuel--without allowing them to consume the entirety of focus. Remember the why, and keep that at the forefront of the agenda!
- Remember those you started with...and why - It is no secret that the people we start our journey with are typically different than those we end up 'eating' with at the table of success, but it is important to always remember who was there, who actually supported because they believed in us (vs those who supported because they saw the potential for the check), and who deserved to be left behind. Saying goodbye and cutting people off for the sake of progress is a natural part of the journey, because some people are seasonal...but pay closer attention to those that are 4L (for life). Those people could be the people that we start from scratch with, or they could be people that you meet years down the road. For example, I remember people (like my moms and
Chase Williams
) who have been there since jump...but I am also incredibly thankful for those (like
Dhwanil Shah
,
Lauryn Miller
,
Annalisa Duarte
, and
Adrian O'Connor
) that I have met along the way. All of these people are part of my circle, and though there have been many that have come and gone, it's beautiful when I get to sit alone and remember that I am supported by people who love and appreciate everything that has come with the journey. I encourage you to do the same reflection, and make sure those people know how much they mean to you!
- Know when to back off - One of the best lessons I have learned when making sure not to lose oneself along the journey is to understand the difference between failing, giving up, and letting go. Much like general conversations and/or major decisions, we are best served to always remember that failing isn't always 'bad,' giving up is sometimes necessary, and letting go is an amicable skill that will help us to maintain balance regarding stress levels, mental health, relationships, bonds, and even manners of resilience. Sometimes, it is best to let things marinate and/or develop, so our best bet can be to simply relinquish strongholds and let the cards fall as they may. This is certainly not a message to say we should leave everything to the cosmos and work without intention, but more to say that there are times to press forward...and times to let of the gas (or set the cruise). This can help to maintain our overall longevity, as going too fast for too long can lead to a premature crash.
- Celebrate the small wins - This one right here? This is my favorite lesson that I learned during my doctoral studies; celebrate the small wins! This will help to ensure that we never lose ourselves in the process because there is no accomplishment too big or small to sit for a second and enjoy the win! As the champagne connoisseur that I am, y'all know I like to crack bottles of bubbly (like
Moët & Chandon
for example) to celebrate my wins, but if champagne is not your jam, figure out what is! This small celebration looks different for all of us, so make sure to find something that suits your liking of success--without overdoing it! For some, it could be taking the afternoon (or day) off to watch some movies! For others, it could be having an extra scoop of ice cream or slice of pizza to celebrate our accomplishments! Either way, it is important to find our celebration style, and stick to it! It is always important to stop and smell the roses along the journey, because the celebration of those small victories can very well be the balancing act that leads to the celebration of much larger ones!
Listen, this journey is tough...and it is important that we remain malleable in the face of our challenges--while also remembering 'where we came from' and why we started on the journey to begin with. The ultimate purpose is to get closer to our natural essence of existence while we are pushing toward our goals, and in order to do that, we have to be intentional when checking in with ourselves and making sure that we don't lose ourselves along the way. Simple things like celebrating small wins and remembering our why are easy ways to keep the scales balanced, and without a constant reflection, we stand to risk losing both ourselves and perhaps our dignity in the pursuit of success itself. Stay true, and focus on the details of love in your heart. Sustainability is key when pursuing success--and that means we must make sure to smell the roses along the way. Trust me, the experience is far more beautiful that way!
Time for a nice mimosa to celebrate another semester in the books. 🥂
