The Male Need For Servitude
Alright, let me open here with an anecdote. I’ll set the scene for you.
On Saturday afternoon, in about 97-degree heat, my wife and I biked about 13 miles one way to go to some BBQ + bar place. I had drank too much on Friday, so I wasn’t drinking, but we had some BBQ and watched some soccer, then had to bike back 13 miles in 97-degree heat. If you’ve ever biked 13 miles after eating pounds of BBQ, it’s not good or easy. I was a mess when I got back. Anyway.
While there, I see this couple, or I presume they’re a couple. The guy is tall and lanky and seems maybe 25. He’s wearing a meme shirt, if that helps. The woman is Asian, probably same age, and much shorter than the guy. The woman seems to adore this guy to the point of worship, which is heartwarming at some level to see — I mean touching him, tugging him, going and getting him drinks and paper plates and napkins. It remained pretty nice and heartwarming while we were there.
As I was biking back, I started thinking about this convo that I had with a friend of mine’s fiancee (they never got married; wedding got called off) about 12 years ago in New Orleans. My friend was not Asian, and his current wife is not Asian, but he was telling me at a bar: “I love Asian chicks. They’re so subservient and meek, ya know?”
At the time back in New Orleans, I had no clue how to process this, so I just nodded. I am pretty sure that is why Asian female porn is so popular among men (and we know it is from data).
So now I’m thinking about this BBQ interaction a little differently. Was it sweet and endearing, or a sign of something darker?
I asked 10 women and eight told me: “Yea, that guy wanted a servant, not a girlfriend.”
Look, none of us know because we’re not those two people. We could all be wrong. But then I started thinking about this more.
“Work Wife”
Powerful corporate men (and even some idiot middle managers) will often speak of their “work wife,” which is meant to be tongue-in-cheek endearing, but is often a veiled sexual reference or underscoring the idea that men need servants/helpers to do anything of note or consequence.
The Decline Of Dads
Even in traditional marriage homes, where the man is the “earner” and the woman is the “nurturer,” a lot of women are not happy with the role of the man these days, and think the man is doubling down a bit too much on “I gave you these kids and this lifestyle!” No doubt, bruh. But maybe like make some slow cooker beef once in a while, Travis?
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When you look at some actual numbers on domestic involvement, and look caveat city but obviously every household is different, you start to wonder: do men want “partnerships” or do they want domestic servants? And when you wonder that, then your mind can go here.
Are All Men Like This?
Absolutely not. Some men are true “family men” or “dutiful providers” and put their wife on a pedastal, or their girlfriend/fiancee/whoever. Mom, even. But a lot of guys are like this, be they more traditional + conservative or just guys that think the lines and the roles are clear-cut. You clean up the sink. You clean up the baby. You do that stuff. I have my swim lane.
Part of the problem in this discussion has always been that men lie about what they value.
NBC, via Peacock, seems to have just “platformed” Andrew Tate, i.e. given him a show. That seems pretty vile. But I bet the show does moderately OK; Tucker Carlson’s Twitter interview with him got into the dozens of millions of views. If you look at trad-wife content online, a lot of the audience is not other women trying to be a homemaker — it’s middle-aged guys salivating at the thought of someone serving them to that extent.
All these types of small breadcrumbs make me think that a lot of men are either secretly or overtly in pursuit of a servant, not a partner. Now, you can say “Well, the point of a spouse is to make the other person’s life easier, kids or not.” That would be true, but “make easier” is a two-way street, not a “one-way street.”
Interestingly, there was a whole thing a few weeks back via TikTok where some lady did a post saying “I don’t schedule my husband’s doctor’s appointments.” First of all, do women do that? I mean like, your dude is out there supposedly slaying all day and he’s not able to schedule his own doctor? Jesus. OK. Well, this lady posted this video, and most of Daily Wire — conservative white men — posted response videos being like, “This isn’t a good wife.”
But why isn’t it a good wife? Why would a “good wife” mean “schedules doctor’s appointments?” Nowadays, you can schedule an appointment with two clicks into your phone. Why is that “a wifely duty?”
All you see when you look at Bama Rush is a bunch of future willing SAHMs who maybe exude some current sexuality that you’re not seeing in your day-to-day life.
Guys love it, as a result.
What do you think: do a lot of modern men want “servants,” vs. “partners?”
Digital Nomad - Remote Contractor
3dI have spent the last 15 years in Asian countries - the 'servitude / submissive' idioms are pure fantasy from a George Jetson ideal at best, searching for his Judy. It ain't reality. EVERY Asian girl I have ever dated, known from work or school, had in my friend group was never hesitant to call you on your shiate - often with both barrels.