How do you say 'it's not me, it's you' to a bad boss? Here's what to know
Photo credit: Getty Images

How do you say 'it's not me, it's you' to a bad boss? Here's what to know

Welcome to Let's Talk Offline (the newsletter), where we tackle what it takes to thrive in the early years of your career — without sacrificing your values, sanity or sleep. Subscribe to receive upcoming editions.


✨ Listen to, follow and rate Let's Talk Offline on your favorite podcast app. Click here to see all the ways you can find the show ✨

Picture this: You’ve poured hours into a project, only to have your boss either nitpick without clear feedback or, even worse, take the credit. Sound familiar? A manager can make or break how you feel about your job … literally.

The majority of younger workers (75% of Gen Zers and 77% of millennials) say a bad boss would motivate them to look for a new job; that’s compared to 69% of U.S. workers overall, according to a LinkedIn survey.

It’s not that those eyeing an exit think they can do their manager’s job better. In fact, only a third of individual contributors even want to become managers themselves. But it’s clear we all want someone who positions us for career growth — and that shouldn’t be too much to ask.

Bad bosses still exist, though. A Harris Poll report found that about 7 in 10 workers have dealt with a toxic boss at some point. Maybe you can relate — whether your current (or past) boss is outright toxic, plays favorites or just doesn’t communicate effectively. So, what do you do when your manager becomes a roadblock?

It really comes down to making the best of your situation and knowing when to walk away. You want to perform well, but that’s hard when the person who should be your #1 supporter is an obstacle. Figuring out how to remedy the situation is important — but I get that it’s not easy.

That's why Jamé and I wanted to tackle how to handle a bad boss on Let's Talk Offline. Let's get into it.

Dealing with a bad boss

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to handling a bad manager. Why? Because there are different kinds of "bad bosses" — from the micromanager to the narcissist.

First, assess your situation. Take the micromanager: they’re always checking in, closely monitoring every task. That can be really frustrating when you’re trying to take ownership of your work.

In this case, try to understand the gap in work styles and find a happy medium. You might need a conversation to clarify expectations and set boundaries. For example, if you’re working on a presentation, you could say, "I’m going to take the first pass at this and share it with you by the end of the week for feedback. How does that sound?"

It’s also worth proposing a check-in system to reduce daily interruptions. If you don’t have a regular 1-on-1 meeting, set one up to share updates at that time.

And for the narcissist? Lean on your peers for support and validation. When positive feedback is lacking from above, building that support network around you can make a difference.

When it's time to walk away 

Sometimes (despite our best efforts) the relationship with a manager doesn’t improve. That’s when it’s time to look out for signals that tell you it may be time to move on. If you find that your growth is stalled, your mental health is taking a hit or you’re just no longer excited to come to work, it’s OK to consider other options.

🎧 Listen to the full episode of Let's Talk Offline for more on dealing with a bad manager. In this episode, we’re also diving into a fun Cool or Cringe segment: nontraditional email sign-offs! Listen to hear our POVs and weigh in with yours in the comments.

💬 After you listen to the episode, let us know what you think! Share your takeaways by tagging Jamé and I in a post on LinkedIn. We want to chat with our work besties!

Before you go…

A friendly reminder to listen to, follow and rate the show on your favorite podcast app. See all the ways you can find Let's Talk Offline here. Also, don't forget to send us your burning questions for our Dear Work Bestie segment. You can email us at letstalkoffline@linkedin.com. 

See you back here next Tuesday! We’ll be talking about what to do with your first paycheck (in other words, personal finance 101). Jamé and I will be joined by Vivian Tu, founder of Your Rich BFF, who breaks down budgeting, saving and more.

In the meantime, remember Jamé and I always have your back. So if something comes up, let's talk offline.


Thanks so much for reading! Know someone who would also enjoy this newsletter? Encourage them to join our community by subscribing 💌

Always thought a person could learn much from a bad boss. Even only if it is Not what to do.

Like
Reply
Alexis J. Leon

Assistant Director for Experiential Learning, Lafayette College Gateway Career Center

1mo

" Bad bosses still exist, though." It's especially insidious when they gaslight you into thinking you're the problem. When you begin to believe their constant, critical feedback, you think you couldn't possibly find or deserve a better position in any organization, which means they get to keep you exactly where they want you.

Michael Saterman (he/him)

I help HR leaders to evolve company culture through professional coaching, diversity & inclusion, leadership development, and communications strategies 🚀 DM me 🅛🅔🅐🅓🅔🅡 to get started.

1mo

Great point on setting boundaries Gianna and Jamé! A couple of ways to make expectations clear with managers include: defining project timelines and check-in points right from the start—scheduling these proactively can cut down on surprise check-ins. Another tip? Outline specific deliverables in writing, so both you and your manager have the same reference for what’s expected and when. These steps can help make collaboration smoother and reduce those micromanaging moments!

To view or add a comment, sign in

Insights from the community

Others also viewed

Explore topics