Mastering Coaching Dynamics for Transformation

Curious about how to convert resistance into self-awareness and growth in leadership coaching? Navigate complex coaching dynamics successfully with the art and science of leadership coaching, garnered from insights over three decades of experience. We unpack the essential traits of an impactful leadership coach and stress the importance of continual growth and flexibility in coaching frameworks. By embracing the Progress Coaching model QALMS—Questions, Activities, Learning Projects, Motivator, and Supplemental coaching—we illustrate how these components drive change and foster accountability.

Harness the power of individual motivators in guiding resistant team members toward personal development. Through real-world examples, we emphasize the necessity of mastering the art of coaching application. Whether leading a single individual or a large team, this episode provides invaluable insights into navigating the multifaceted world of leadership coaching and cultivating a lasting impact on those you guide.

For 30 years, we've been teaching people how to coach. When I'm in front of clients, often people will ask me how we came up with that solution so quickly. I go back to the fundamental attributes of being a great leadership coach. First off, I'm not self-anointing myself as a great leadership coach because I work with a coach, I work with an EQ coach, and I work with a mentor. We're always improving as coaches. Hopefully.

I think about the concept of coaching application. What we have to realize is coaching application is a piece of clay. What do we do when somebody is really resistant, and we try to give them feedback, but they push back? What solution do we use?

There isn't a solution. There's a framework. You can control the model, not the person's reaction. A lot of times, we look for that quick fix, that solution or strategy that will be guaranteed to work. It doesn't work like that.

Coaching application is understanding a coaching framework. It's understanding the choices you have. That can be different conversation pieces, different questions, different thoughts, different statements, different ways to deliver mentoring, thoughts, and perspectives. Then you have to think about the person's reaction.

If you have someone who's highly resistant versus someone who's really open, your approach will be different. You may have somebody who's highly open, yet having a bad day. They might inadvertently demonstrate some resistance.

Coaching application is about applying coaching principles to situations but understanding that one solution is not foolproof every single time (usually). Let me share this with you.

We teach something at Progress Coaching called QALMS. That is our coaching model.

Questions drive self-awareness.

Activities drive change.

Learning projects build accountability.

M the Motivator is where you tie in the career coaching. Essentially, it's the part of "what's in it for them?" We call it the WIIFT.

S is Supplemental coaching.

Let me give you an example. Think about somebody who's resistant. When you talk to them and ask, "Where do you want to take your career?" they may say, "I want to be a first-time manager." That can be a point of leverage to expand the conversation. That may look like, "Bob, when I think about you engaging with your teams openly and thoughtfully and professionally..." What I'm doing with this sentence is giving him a picture of the opposite behavior he's demonstrating, which is resistant and maybe opinionated.

Then I bring in the motivator he just gave me. "I think about you really engaging with your teammates, being proactive and thoughtful, and how that might help you become that first-time manager you brought up. What's going through your mind and how do you think you could successfully do that?" What did I just demonstrate? I led with thoughts. I brought in his motivator, I used questions that build self-awareness, and I use a question format called a self-actualized question, such as, "What are you going to do to successfully XYZ?"

The key to this is to really understand we have a model to help us determine between the various choices to provide coaching applications. So when I get in front of a group of 20, 30, 40, 50, 100 people, and everyone is throwing questions at me (which I love), all I'm doing is going through a coaching application process. So, when somebody says they are coaching a resistant employee yet they don't have a lot of time, I'll go to supplemental coaching, which is a prescriptive coaching strategy that doesn't take a lot of time.

To sum up:

#1: understand a coaching model thoroughly.

#2: Practice. Practice. Practice. It's not memory, it's practice of application.

#3: Practice even more.

One of the things I love to do more than anything in the world is to be in front of a group of people, put on the spot, and demonstrate. Not to show off, but to grab components and attributes from my coaching model that I teach. That's it.

Use this when you're coaching your people

QUESTIONS TO COACH RESISTANT OR STRUGGLING EMPLOYEES:

#1: What is one area you feel you're progressing successfully? Can you think of a specific situation that demonstrated that?

#2: What is one area you feel you'd like to progress even more? Can you think of a specific situation where you feel you may have struggled in that area?

#3: What are 2 things you feel are going well when it comes to your personal progress as it relates to your role, and what's one area you feel you could accelerate in terms of improvement?

#4: What are 2 things you need to do to raise your ability to progress and improve in your role?

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