Mastering the Dance of Conversation in Coaching: Lessons From Salsa Partner Work

One thing I love most about being a Somatic Trainer at The Coach Partnership , one of the leading ontological coaching certification programs in the world, is the endless exploration of the role of the body in coaching and personal leadership. It continues to fascinate me, and I’m constantly challenging myself to learn new practices, discover different ways of holding and moving my body, and connect the dots to how I show up in the world.

This time around, I picked up Salsa Partner Work—and I was curious about what would unfold.

When I signed up, I imagined myself gliding effortlessly across the dance floor. Reality check: I spent more time stepping on my partner’s toes and getting spun in the wrong direction than I’d like to admit. But here’s the thing: between the missteps and the laughter, I realised salsa partner work has more to offer than just fancy footwork. It holds valuable lessons for how I approach my coaching practice—how I show up, respond, and even laugh at myself when things go off-script.

Here are some lessons salsa partner work has revealed to me, and I invite you to reflect on how they might resonate with your own coaching practice:

1. Connection Beyond Words: Are You Really Listening?

In salsa, the connection with your partner isn’t spoken—it’s felt. A slight shift in hand pressure, a change in rhythm—it’s all about subtle, unspoken signals, yet the message is clear. In coaching, we often rely on words, but the most meaningful exchanges sometimes happen in the spaces between them. Can you feel the energy in the conversation, the unsaid emotions, or shifts in your client’s mood?

Consider this: What practices might I embrace to allow me to connect beyond words in my coaching conversations?

2. Trust and Release: Are You Holding on Too Tight or Too Loose?

In partner dancing, the temptation to take over and lead can be strong for some of us (believe me, I know!)—or, on the flip side, we can be too passive, too loose with our hold, which results in losing the connection. But I quickly realised that the dance flows best when I allow myself to trust both my partner and myself, and release my grip on the need to control the outcome. Coaching is no different. As coaches, we might feel the pull to steer the conversation toward a particular result. However, true coaching magic happens when we let go of that need for control, trust the process, and empower our clients to navigate their own path.

Pause.

Notice your pattern: How are you holding your partner’s hand—literally or metaphorically—in your conversations? Is your grip too tight or too loose? Where can you see this reflected in your conversations?

3. Presence: Laughing at Your Own Mistakes - Why Not?

In salsa partner work, I've learned that overthinking won’t support my partner. It’s about staying present, responding in the moment, and adjusting when things go off track. And when you inevitably mess up (as I did… more than once), the most freeing thing to do is laugh and find your way back into the rhythm. Coaching is much the same. Being present isn’t about perfecting every move—it’s about giving full attention to each moment, and for me, that means being at ease in my own skin. That’s why doing the foundation work—the deep work you do with yourself, with the support of your coach—is essential in your coaching journey!

Something to reflect on: How can I embrace mistakes in coaching as opportunities for growth and connection, both for myself and my clients?

4. Embracing the Unscripted: Are You Willing to Dance with the Unknown?

What I’ve experienced in salsa partner work, much like in coaching, is that it’s a dance with the unpredictable. No matter how well you practice the steps, each time you step onto the dance floor, it’s a new experience. The same goes for every coaching session. While we can prepare and be clear about our client's North Star or purpose, the most transformative moments often arise when we embrace the unexpected.

A question to sit with: What gets in the way for me to be comfortable dancing with unknown in my coaching sessions?

Here’s how I see it: both salsa partner work and coaching are like dancing through conversations. In every conversation, there’s a chance to check in on our grip—whether we’re holding too tightly to our beliefs or assessments, needing things to go our way, or holding on too loosely and causing disconnection.

The bottom line is simple: How do I choose to show up to truly serve (or dance with) the person in front of me? These ways of being can be accessed through body movement, and the key lies in your willingness to connect the dots between how you move and how you show up in your coaching practice.

The ontological approach, which focuses on how our ways of being—our emotions, body, and language—shape our lives, is at the core of everything we do at The Coach Partnership. Our next Newfield Coach Certification program is now open for registration. Find out more at www.thecoachpartnership.com