Maximizing Happiness Math

Understanding and practicing what brings happiness is the path to living a richer, more fulfilling life. Yet, many misunderstand how to create it in their lives. We can chase possessions, approval, and leisure. Or we neglect health and relationships in the failed pursuit of happiness.

To better understand how to build real happiness, let's explore various happiness equations, highlight common themes, and extract practical tips for intentionally building happiness.

Why Happiness is Important

Before digging into how to be happier, let's consider why happiness is important. Like all self-care, it's not a selfish act. The Dalai Lama goes as far as to argue that "the purpose of life is to be happy." It is not a fleeting emotion but a fundamental aspiration that guides our actions and choices. It's If you need more reasons to prioritize happiness, it is also essential for:

Health and well-being: The Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest-running studies on happiness, suggests that people who describe themselves as happy tend to have fewer health problems, a lower risk of depression, and longer lives

Resilience: By focusing on love and enjoyment rather than fear and doubt, we increase our resilience and ability to navigate life's inevitable ups and downs, overcome obstacles and achieve our goals.

Contributing to a better society: Individual happiness can have a ripple effect, creating a more positive and harmonious society. As the 14th Dalai Lama explains, "If a person is happier, his or her family is happier; if families are happy, neighborhoods and nations will be happy."

Defining Happiness

This year, I read Mo Gawdat's book with the title Solve for Happy. In it, he presents the first happiness equation below. It got me exploring how others define happiness. As I researched other relevant discussions on happiness, some authors had their own equations. For others, it was easy to create equations. I found equations to be a way to simplify a complex topic, show similarities, and encourage analytical thinking about the interplay of elements influencing happiness.

It's important to consider these equations as concepts rather than precise calculations:

1. Happiness ≥ Events of your life - Expectations of how life should be. Mo Gawdat
2. Happiness = Self-Knowledge + Good Habits. Gretchen Rubin
3. Happiness = Meaning + Work + Positive Relationships. Shawn Achor
4. Happiness = Meaning + Pleasure. Tal Ben-Shahar
5. Happiness = Meaning + Accomplishment + Positive Emotion + Engagement + Relationships. Interpretation of Martin Seligman
6. Happiness = Meaning + Enjoyment + Satisfaction. Arthur Brooks & Oprah Winfrey
7. Happiness = Purpose + Discipline + Gratitude. Andy Frisella
8. Happiness = Yearning + Trust. Martha Beck
9. Happiness = Compassion * Calm Mind. Interpretation of The 14th Dalai Lama
10. Happiness = [Alignment + Contentment] * Control. Interpretation of Rangan Chatterjee

The 1st equation argues that it's not just about what happens to us, but how those events measure up against our preconceived notions of how they should have happened. It emphasizes the importance of managing our expectations and cultivating acceptance of life's events. While Gawdat emphasizes that happiness is our default state, he seems to focus on how not to be sad rather than on what contributes to happiness.

Equation 2 takes a "to thy own self be true" approach that counters the 1st equation. It simplistically states that knowing what brings you joy and building habits that deliver those things is what brings happiness.

The next few equations (3-7) expand on the idea that happiness stems from being able to deliver on the Self-Knowledge of what we find important and joyful as in equation 2. The most common new element is Purpose or Meaning. Most have an element of Discipline, Work, or Accomplishment (like Good Habits in equations 2) describing how to deliver it. Some equations add the related elements of Enjoyment, Pleasure, and Positive Emotion. Relationships, Engagement, and Gratitude/Satisfaction round out the list of elements that bring happiness.

Equation 8 takes a more forward-looking approach. It expresses that happiness comes from surrendering to the possibility that what we yearn for is attainable, even if we don't yet see the path clearly. This aligns with Beck's concept of letting go of fear and doubt to enable our desired outcomes to manifest through love and integrity.

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." - The 14th Dalai Lama

In equation 9, The Dalai Lama takes a somewhat different and simplistic interpretation. He suggests that "the key to happiness is peace of mind" which comes from cultivating "kindness and warm-heartedness towards others". He emphasizes that compassion is the source of happiness so Compassion and Calm Mind reinforce each other.

Common Themes

Equation 10 captures common themes that run across the equations:

• Alignment creates integrity and congruence between what you believe in and how you spend your time. It combines the ideas of Self-knowledge with Accomplishment reducing internal conflict and fostering a sense of Meaning/Purpose and authenticity. This also ties to the need for positive Relationships, Emotions, and Enjoyment with people, things, and actions that align with your values.
• Contentment involves accepting and appreciating your present circumstances, rather than constantly striving for more. It combines the ideas of Satisfaction and Gratitude for what you have with fulfillment in the present moment. It also ties to the Dalai Lama's emphasis on cultivating a Calm Mind and inner peace.
• Control allows for agency in making meaningful decisions, managing reactions, not being overwhelmed by external pressures, and taking appropriate action. When you feel in Control, you can surrender to the possibility of achieving your desires and act with integrity to achieve them. Control puts a positive slant on the broadest theme: that happiness comes from inner mindsets and positive action.

“Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are. It solely relies on what you think.” -The 14th Dalai Lama

It's worth noting what is absent:

Status, titles, praise, things, money, comfort, and leisure are lacking from all equations. There is no room for ego, greed, or sloth in any of the happiness equations. There is an element of Pleasure, and you might derive it from some possessions. But happiness is not gained by acquiring more in a never-ending game of trying to be enough, have enough, or relax enough.

There is also no element of self-sacrifice. Creating Meaning and Purpose do not require ignoring health or relationships. Instead, Compassion (including self-compassion,) a Calm Mind, and strong Relationships are all elements that add to happiness. Self-care builds the foundation for happiness.

Be Intentional About Happiness

From a study of the equations and the associated explanations, I take away the following practices as ways to be intentional in building more happiness:

Work on Meaningful Goals: The most common element across equations suggests the need to derive Meaning and Purpose from your desires and actions. Spend priority time on what aligns with your values and passions in service to something larger than yourself. Stop doing activities that don't feel meaningful.

Build Capabilities: The equations emphasize the need to be able to achieve your meaningful goals. Build and strengthen habits, routines, discipline, learning, and self-control to build a sense of agency and an ability to deliver on goals.

Make Joy a Priority: Allocate regular time for the activities that bring you Pleasure and Positive Emotions. Engage in 15 minutes of enjoyable physical activity daily, like walking or gardening. Spend quality time with family and friends, as strong relationships are crucial for joy and health.

Focus on Kindness & Experiences: Perform small and large acts of kindness and show genuine compassion and concern for fellow beings. Plan engaging events with friends and family. Say hi to strangers like you mean it. Send positive messages that boost your mood and theirs while strengthening connections.

Focus on Internal Factors: All the equations emphasize the importance of inner work. True happiness stems from within and is built through integrity, self-awareness, realistic expectations, and a calm mind. These can be bolstered by mindfulness exercises, gratitude journaling, practicing presence, and building emotional intelligence.

Examine the elements across equations to uncover areas in your life that need attention. What resonates with you and how can you start working to include more of it in your day-to-day to grow your happiness?

This is the last newsletter I will publish this year. May you find joy and happiness in the Holidays, throughout the New Year, and beyond.

Jon Strickler, Vistage Chair & Executive Coach

Find me at: 720 323 0793, jon.strickler@VistageChair.com, Twitter: @HorizonLineGp, LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jonst, Website: HorizonLineGroup.com

Glossary of Happiness Equation Elements

• Acceptance: Embracing the reality of the present moment without resistance or judgment, fostering peace of mind.
• Accomplishment: Pursuing and achieving goals.
• Alignment: Ensuring that one's inner values, beliefs, and purpose are in integrity with everyday actions, leading to a sense of authenticity.
• Calm mind: An active state of awareness and presence that allows facing reality with equanimity and wisdom. The Dahli Lama argues that cultivating compassion leads to mental comfort, which is the true source of happiness.
• Compassion: An active concern for the well-being of others.
• Contentment: A state of peaceful acceptance of one's decisions, accomplishments, and life.
• Control: A sense of having agency in making one's decisions.
• Discipline: The ability to consistently control one's actions and follow through on commitments made to oneself.
• Engagement: Being deeply involved in activities that use your strengths.
• Enjoyment:
• Gratitude ~ Satisfaction: The state of being thankful and appreciative for what one has, fostering contentment.
• Meaning ~ Purpose: A driving force that provides motivation, significance, and direction in life, giving meaning to actions often by serving a larger cause.
• Mindfulness: Paying attention to the present moment without judgment, fostering self-awareness and emotional regulation.
• Positive Emotion: Experiencing joy, gratitude, and other positive emotions.
• Pleasure: Feeling enjoyment or satisfaction from engaging in activities or experiences that bring positive sensations or emotions.
• Relationships, Positive: Building strong, supportive connections with others.
• Self-Compassion: Treating oneself with kindness, understanding, and forgiveness, promoting well-being and resilience.
• Self-Knowledge: Knowing the foundation of our own values, interests, purpose, and temperament.
• Trust: Allowing in the possibility of a future reality; normally based on the reliability, truth, ability, and care of someone or something.
• Work: Engaging in productive and fulfilling tasks that contribute to personal and professional growth.
• Yearning: A strong emotional pull towards a particular goal, experience, or person, often accompanied by wistfulness or melancholy.