Mentor – A myth or a Reality?

Be it a seminar, a compact-unit meeting, college, institute, marriage function or even social media for that matter, the word ‘mentor’ (guru) or ‘mentoring’ is frequently used. The pressure is so silent and persuasive that you are made to feel lost without a mentor whether it is in a corporate jungle or life in general.

Puzzled, I looked around and found no mentor! Bewildered, I quizzed my friends and probed my colleagues about finding a guru and their reaction was “Where do you find them”?

Well, I wondered, who is a mentor?

But a moot question is, do we really need a mentor?’ Prima facie we need them! Is it necessary in today’s abundance knowledge based ecosystem? Hmm not really or can be manage without it also.

This also made me take a step back into a generation or two. I speculated whether the achievers in the previous generation needed or had any kind of ‘mentoring’? 

Curious, I became more aware of my ecosystem, pondered at my observations, and this is what I gathered.

In this topic today, I quote from my own experience and conclusions. So here are my insights.

Take me for example:

I, for one, did not have any mentor or guru (Once again, 'where you get them?'). Yes, by far, my father, up until a certain age guided me, in today’s language mentored me. But as I found my feet in this world I had to let go of his hand and as us all..

It is not as if I did not seek a teacher. As a marketer, I felt it would have been excellent to have counsel from someone more senior in age and exposure; someone who would challenge me, inspire, someone who could push me to better myself making me think ‘out of my cabin’ and job title. You can consider yourself lucky if you have that special person (mentor) who will guide you through the daily bumps turning them into advantages.

But that ‘special senior,’ perfectly described above, is hard to come by. In reality what happens is that you are very much on your own. If you are handheld by anyone, it is most likely that there are vested interests involved.

As for me, I was on my own. I made my mistakes, got a rap on my hands, and learned new skills, in life and at work, all along the way up the ladder of success. At times, my colleagues were my sounding board; many times it was just me and my gut feeling that helped me get through the quagmire. 

Don’t get me wrong. There were times at work when I wished and hoped for that helping hand who can guide me through. Yet, there was no ‘one cut fits all’ kind of a person who could parent me for all my concerns. 

So what do I do?

Be your own guru. I kept aside that old school mentoring. I imbibed from my own surrounding, my friends at play and colleagues at work to become strong and beat down any issues. To cite a very simple example: I am a health conscious person making it a point to wake up early and work-out every single day. Here I am self-motivated and have my own tools to get me going. If you are not motivated no amount of mentoring will help. You can then kiss a fit body good-bye!

I keep myself alert at all times, for signs to give me leads and instincts to light up my way. My mistakes have by far been my most impactful growth moments helping me improve myself. You must be open to see yourself with all your shortcoming and strengths to build-up your resilience.

If sometimes I feel vulnerable, I become like Ekalavya (character from Mahabharata). I mentally build an image of someone, a senior at work or an elder in the family to guide me along my modern day decision-making. When faced with a challenge, I simply close my eyes, mentally drawing strength from that guru and imagining what they would do if they were to be in my place. Today I believe it was nothing but my inner voice. Power of Intuition!

Believe me; this methodology has, by far, worked very well and mostly in my favor. It made me self-reliant and helped me evolve as a person, personally as well in my professional sphere. This technique pushed me to innovate and think ‘out of my cabin’ to achieve success in overcoming seemingly insurmountable roadblocks. 

Finally, it is up to you. Be your own mentor.

You have to be self-motivated. Be self-reliant (You don’t have a choice though).

You have to push yourself to accomplish.

Everything begins with you. "If it is to be, it is upto me" William H. Johnsen

Wisdom doesn’t come only with the experience but with the enlightenment; enlightenment doesn’t understand the age or no of years of experience. It is simply that aha moment which need to be seeked with complete zeal.

Life is too short and extremely fast; Just like time and tide wait for no man, so should you.

If you’re lucky enough, you will meet this imaginary character! And if you don’t, never mind, you will still achieve it much faster.

Stay inspired!