A Middle-Aged Blokes A to Z of Engineering their Health and Wellbeing

Over the last 10 years I have worked on a variety of projects aiming to improve the health and wellbeing of men. I have spoken with over 7000 men during this time and conducted almost 5000 health MOT’s. One of the first things men asked for was a no-nonsense manual to explain how to improve their health and wellbeing.

This article is a tiny little taster of the manual I have been putting together over the last few years. I’m hoping to publish it next year. It will not contain any quick fixes, miracle cures, fad diets, extreme workouts and its recommendations will not cost a thing.

The manual will not be a tool to obtain a perfect life. Often we are promised ways to achieve the life of our dreams (an easy life with everything we want!) but this is unrealistic. Humans are not perfectible and we can’t change other people. Shit does happen and we need to have the strength to deal with difficult situations and overcome big obstacles. There are some obstacles that may not be overcome and we may have to take a step back and change direction.

The first step in improving your health and reducing your stress levels consists in engineering everyday activities so that you get the most rewarding experiences from them. It may sound simple, but people often have no idea which parts of their lives they enjoy, which parts hinder their health, which parts boost energy and which parts increase stress.

Instead of thinking about sorting out your whole life, just think about engineering your daily activities, adding daily good healthy habits. One at a time, just let your pile of good healthy activities grow. We can thrive under particular conditions; we just need to figure out which conditions allow us to flourish.

Here is a quick A to Z of improving your health and reducing your stress. We need to bring our talents and strengths to the game of life.

A: Action: If you don’t do things differently nothing changes. You are what you repeatedly do… and we are just a consistent set of behaviours away from being who we want to be. Making a change means doing things differently and then reviewing it to see if it made a difference. Figure out what you want, then start acting, behaving and thinking like that person. 

B: Belief: “Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man. But sooner or later the man who wins, is the man who thinks he can” Bruce Lee.

B: Booze: You don’t need alcohol to have a good time and you definitely don’t need more than 3 drinks on a night out. 

C: Choose: Choose the healthier option 9 times out of ten. A triple stack burger is never the healthy option.

C: Control: Focus on what you can control. You don’t have complete control over your life, but you do have control over your effort, attitude and ability to be proactive. 

C: Cook: Learn to cook. It will be a source of great pleasure and enable you to fuel your body right. Chew your food and look after your teeth.

D: Doodle and Draw: It can relieve boredom, stress and anxiety. It also allows you to stop rushing around, sit quietly, switch off the world and re-focus.

D: Dance: Seriously guys learn to dance…. Don’t be a lech, do it because dancing has a wide range of physical and mental benefits including:

• Increased, strength, endurance and aerobic fitness

• stronger bones and better coordination, balance, agility and flexibility

• increased physical confidence and self-esteem

E: Eat Well: We need to learn how to fuel our body right. A healthy balanced diet, no need to be obsessive and cut out whole food groups. Find out what works for you. A food diary can help you see how much you consume and how each food makes you feel. Eat lots more seasonal fruit and veg. Limit meat – you don’t need it every meal or even every day.

E: Environment: We are turning our planet in to a rubbish tip and destroying so many of its beautiful creatures. We don’t need to consume so much crap. We don’t need more we just need what’s enough. Put pressure on the big polluters to change.

F: Focus: “The successful warrior is the average man with laser like focus”. Are you prepared to do what it takes? Do one thing at a time.

F: Fun: 5 laughs a day. What could you do to have more fun? Not at the expense of others!

F: Friends: A good support network is very important to our wellbeing. Friends help us deal with stress, make better lifestyle choices that keep us strong, and allow us to bounce back from health issues and disease more quickly.

F: Failure: We will fail at some point. We may never get everything we want. That’s OK.

G: Goals: What are your goals? What do you want? Goals give you something to aim for. They don’t have to be set in stone but give you direction. Goal setting has been shown to improve performance. Your goals need to be challenging but not overwhelming, not too easy and not too difficult.

H: Hero: You are the hero of your story. Your journey will go through 4 stages:

1. At some point in your life you will go on a journey which will include difficulties.

2. Overcoming obstacles and failures is a central part of your journey but you will grow from it. 

3. Don’t undertake your journey alone. Assemble a team of allies, friends, mentors to help you overcome obstacles.

4. Share what you have learned on your journey to help others on theirs.

H: Help others: It can help reduce stress, improve your emotional wellbeing and benefit your physical health. Look out for and look after those who are less fortunate than you. Act in their interests. If you see someone struggling, offer them some help.

H: Hobby: Get a hobby. Do something, make something, build something, create something. Upcycle.

H: Hope: Hope leads to better performance at school, greater success in the workplace and increased happiness. 

I: Imagine: Imagine what life would be like in 5 years’ time, if you made changes to improve your health and wellbeing now. What would you be doing on a daily, weekly, monthly yearly basis?

J: Journey: Enjoy the journey as it’s not all about the destination and not all wanderers are lost. Your journey is fashioning you into a wiser more resilient person. There will always be difficult times but you get stronger the more obstacles you overcome. Enjoy the every day experiences not things.

K: Know yourself: What stresses you out? How do you typically react? Does your coping strategy help? Do you know your limits and capabilities, your strengths, values and goals? Do you know when things don’t feel right and what to do?

K: Kindness: Be kind. Go out of your way to show positive feelings towards others – gratitude, respect, trust. As I said earlier help others.

L: Love: All you need is love. Love produces positive emotions, love helps you live longer and fights disease. 

L: Listen: Listen to people. Good listening skills helps to develop relationships, resolve, conflicts, build trust, inspire people, and strengthen bonds.

L: Learn: Keep on learning. Learn about other people, other viewpoints, stay curious.

M: Moderation: Avoid extremes in thinking, feeling and behaving. Throw yourself into your family, work, play and exercise but avoid the stress of going too far. Identify areas in your life where you tend to behave excessively. Set limits in each of these areas and commit yourself to keeping within those limits.

M: Mistakes: Mistakes are OK. We learn from mistakes.

N: Nature: People begin to feel psychologically better after just 15 minutes of sitting outside in nature. Walking 50 minutes in a park boosts people’s moods and attention, while a 90-minute walk can lead to changes in your brain that can protect against depression. 

O: Outside and Observe: Get outside, we evolved to walk, run and climb. Put away your phones and observe the sounds and sights of the world around you. Watch how animals and people behave. Observe how you typically cope with problems. What works for you and what doesn’t?

O: Open: Be open to new ideas, new people, new approaches, new ways, new behaviours and new habits.

P: Practice: Remember that it’s not just reading this or attending a training session that changes you but the daily practice of the recommended habits. Good new habits are quickly forgotten if not practiced. Practice new habits twice daily for at least a month.

P: Phone: Put that phone down. We are averaging around 4 hours on our phones every day. Our kids are copying us and are spending even longer on them. 4 hours a day is equal to ¼ of our waking hours spent on the phone.

P: Persistence and Patience: There are times when we have to push, but there are also times when we do just have to wait and hang in there.

Q: Quit Smoking and Ask Questions: Smoking kills millions of men every year. You can quit. Smoking robs you from developing healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with stress.

Questions help you to develop your thinking, promote deeper understanding, explore ideas and make connections. Leading to greater motivation and improved engagement.

R: Risk-Taking: To grow as a person and improve your quality of life means being prepared to take some chances. I mean take sensible risks in order to get more out of life.

R: Read and Research: Read life stories and explore world history. Watch documentaries. Write down your story.

S: Strengths: Do you know your natural talents and strengths? The benefits of identifying and playing to your strengths can lead to increased vitality and motivation, a greater sense of direction and purpose, increased self-confidence and productivity.

T: Tearing things down or building things up. How you talk about what you are dealing with either works for or against you. Are you using the kind of language that is building something or destroying something?

T: Train: Train your mind and body. I’m not talking about extreme training just enough for you to be flexible and adaptable in new situations.

T: Treat all people right!

U: Use it or lose it: It’s no coincidence that our sedentary modern lifestyles are linked to physical and cognitive decline. We need to walk, run, climb, lift, squat, stretch. No need for expensive gym memberships, expensive fitness clothes or expensive meditation and stretching classes. – it can all be done at home or in the great outdoors.

Exercise has the potential to treat your physical health as well or better than prescription drugs designed to manage chronic conditions like high blood pressure and high cholesterol, and is one of the single best ways to maintain your mental health.

V: Values: Values help you to determine what is important in your life. They are the silent forces behind many of your actions and decisions. What are your values? What means something to you? How will you demonstrate these values?

W: Walk and Talk: Walking is the nearest thing we have to a miracle cure. We evolved to walk. Walk and talk with your partner, kids, friends, parents.

W: Water: I don’t think we know how vital it is to drink plenty of water. Water is essential for our bodies to function optimally. Aim to drink at least 6 glasses of water a day.

W: Wonder: Look up at the skies, clouds, stars and wonder what it’s all about. Explore the science.

W: Wait don’t Worry: If something goes wrong, don’t worry straight away. Allocate 10 minutes each day during which time you can worry about anything. Our thoughts decay very quickly if we don’t feed them with energy and that worrying situation won’t feel so bad when you come back to it later.

X: X marks the spot: Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.

Y: You: You can make a difference. You can change the way you think and you can change the way you behave. We cannot change other people, but you can make a difference to others.

Z: Get your ZZZZZ’s: Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. Have a dark and quiet room. No phones or screens an hour before bed. Read a book.

We need to get back to basics and practice the daily activities that will help us thrive. I know this is all focussed at the individual level, but we can only start with ourselves. If we are to improve the health and wellbeing of the global population and the planet we are going to have to do things very differently.

This is where the old story ends and the new adventure begins.