MILLENNIAL MENTOR #3: Lies Told by Olds? Here's the Truth, Youth.

Millennial Mentor is a sporadic column, written by Scott Hess, which aims to advocate for Millennials and assist them with their careers. To submit questions, comments, or hilarious memes, or to book Scott for a speech, email millennialmentorguy@gmail.com.

The old people in your life – your parents, your boss, that old guy at work that thinks he’s one of your peers (yes, I’m talking about me) – don’t mean to lie to you about work. It just kind of happens.

Sometimes we talk about things how we wish they were, rather than how they really are.

In this, my third Millennial Mentor column, I’d like to set the record straight on a few of these things. Here's hoping the truth...will set all of us free.

 

LIE TOLD BY OLDS: Experience is everything.

HERE’S THE TRUTH, YOUTH: Nobody knows anything.

Old people love to tell you about experience. Why? Because it’s the one thing we have that you don’t.

In most cases we can’t beat you in a foot race. We can’t stay up later than you. And no matter how hard we try to pretend otherwise, we don’t really get Snapchat.

But: We have been around longer than you. So, we cling to that fact.

I’m not trying to pretend that having experience isn’t worth anything. It’s great to have seen a situation before, so that you can react to it from a position of knowledge rather than fear. It’s helpful to have made mistakes, so as not to repeat them. Sometimes context is king.

It's true, some of us olds – but trust me, not all – have benefited from our years of seasoning. In addition to saggy necks and hair in our ears, we’ve accumulated other earmarks of experience: some technical acumen, an arsenal of jargon perfect for camouflaging regular concepts in, a kind of fatigued contemplation that masquerades as judgement. So, experience is not nothing. But it’s not everything, either.

Aside from a passel of brain surgeons and nuclear physicists, the mass of our workforce consists of middlebrow “knowledge workers,” folks likely to spend more time using our brains and our laptops than scalpels, heavy machinery, or laser beams. We build slide decks, not bridges. Sure, we may require a baseline of knowledge in our particular field, but once that’s been imparted it’s amazing how much parity exists between someone with two years of experience and someone with 10 or 20.

If I’ve learned one thing over the years, working across consulting and research and dot-comfoolery and advertising, it’s this: Nobody knows anything. (William Goldman said it first. But what does he know?) More often than not, old saws and conventional wisdom are ripe for revolution. Rules work, and then they don't.

One boss loves long emails. The next boss decrees concision. One boss is all about brand-building and emotion. The next one emphasizes sales over everything and precision. And you know what? Both are right. And both are wrong. In most cases in business, there’s more than one correct answer.

Often, leadership's in-the-moment choices represent not experience, but a marriage of personal style and the latest fad. Unlike what you read in business books, most people are winging it, more or less. What works in the marketplace and in the workplace varies widely and changes constantly.

Sometimes long copy sells harder than short copy. Sometimes it’s the opposite. Sometimes choosing a celebrity spokesperson buoys the brand. Other times it sinks it. There are virtually no rules in business that weren’t made to be broken. What worked one day often becomes antithetical the next.

As a result, the guy or gal that shows up, digs in, and thinks about how to solve the day’s problems using a mix of common sense, gut feel, and thoughtful analysis of available data has nearly as much chance at success as the next guy or gal, irrespective of how many years he or she has been winging it. Sure, experience matters. But my Millennial pals, don’t be daunted by how long someone’s been at something. You have full license to aim at excellent almost from the get-go.

Don’t wait for experience to arrive. Take your best shot today. After all, genius is often the stuff of youth.

 

LIE TOLD BY OLDS: It’s not about the money.

HERE’S THE TRUTH, YOUTH: It’s about the money.

“It’s not about the money.” We say this. You even say this sometimes. It’s B.S.

Unless you’re working at a not-for-profit or you’re a teacher or a member of the clergy not named Joel Osteen, chances are that you’re working, at least in part, for the money. And for most of us, it’s more than “in part.” Money is a stand-in for what the marketplace values, and you can trade it in for whatever it is you value.

And by the way: What are the chances the business you work for is in it for the money? 100%. That’s what capitalism is all about. Trust me, the folks at the top are doing it for the money. They’re making sure you “hit your numbers” so that they can hit theirs.

Don’t get me wrong. I remain a big fan of a lot of the “fluff” that accompanies corporate capitalism, beyond cold hard cash. I love culture and team-building and collegiality and happy hours and holiday parties and office shenanigans and “giving back” and manifestos and the like. That stuff is awesome. It binds us to the business. It helps us enjoy ourselves along the way. It’s the maple frosting on the yeast doughnut that is work. But none of it exists, none of it tastes any good at all, unless the doughnut of dollars is solidly parked beneath it.

Capitalist enterprises exist to generate profit. Cease to profit? Cease to exist. As such, nobody will extract any value from said enterprise over time unless it kicks off more dollars than it costs to run. That’s profit. And as your employer profits, so, too, should you. So, don’t be content to just lick the frosting. Make sure you get a big bite of the doughnut!

Let me be clear. Businesses can create culture all they want, but at the end of the day one of the best ways they signal what matters is who they decide to pay. Want to see what kind of behavior/performance is valued at your company? Look at who makes the most money. Look at who’s getting promotions and raises. What do they have that you don’t? Contacts? Charisma? Expertise? (And as I just said above, at least some of that is vaporous.) Whatever it is, you better get it.

In business, it’s almost always about the money. Pay attention to how it comes in, and how it goes out. If you want more money, get closer to where it comes in. Maybe bring some in yourself. And if you’re adding value to the company’s bottom line, make sure your personal rewards are commensurate with your contribution. Because it's about the money.

 

LIE TOLD BY OLDS: Work hard, and you’ll go far.

HERE’S THE TRUTH, YOUTH: Great ideas can trump hard work.

Most bosses love hard workers, the folks who show up early and stay late. The ones that raise their hands while keeping their heads down. Trust me, we love those people.

But you know who bosses love even more? The guys and gals whose big ideas make them look good and make the company more money. The ones that, painted into a corner by a client or a business challenge, figure out how to climb the wall, walk across the ceiling, and come out on the other side. If you’re somebody who can devise a compelling strategy that will win a pitch, you’re worth more than somebody who’ll sit at their desk for 12 hours doing rote tasks. If you’re capable of devising an idea that will double your client’s profits, you’re worth far more than someone who will work double-hard auditing their books.

When you’re young, you likely have more discretionary time than your older colleagues. You can stay late at the office. Show up on the weekends. Raise your hand to help out on special projects. And there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s great. But as you get older, maybe get married, maybe have kids, you’re going to have less time that is truly yours, and you’re going to want to find a way to make more money without working more hours.

The shortcut to creating more value and thereby receiving more compensation is your ideas. Your big ideas that solve big problems and create big opportunities. Chances are your mom or dad or grandparents or pastor have instilled in you the value of hard work. And that’s fine. And it’s important. But if you truly want to get ahead without getting burned out, aim to not only work hard, but to birth big ideas. Because that’s what makes you harder to replace and easier to pay more.

Over time, the bearer of big ideas becomes more valuable to the business than the workaholic who merely churns through tasks.

 

LIE TOLD BY OLDS: It’s not about who you know. 

HERE’S THE TRUTH, YOUTH: It’s all about who you know.

Granted, if your folks are savvy, they’ve told you: It’s all about who you know. But what I wanna emphasize here: Dude, it really is.

We sometimes assume that business will be different than high school, that it won’t be a popularity contest, there won’t be cliques, there won’t be favoritism and teacher’s pets. As if.

Business, like Soylent Green, is made of people. Although the Iowa Test and the SAT are scored by computers, virtually every “test” in corporate America is scored by silly little human beings. Who gets the job, the promotion, the contract, the coveted invite to the corporate boondoggle, well, it often comes down to who you know, and how they feel about you.

Let me caveat this quickly: I’m not talking about networking. Networking is for losers. Relationships are for closers. Building relationships means actually caring about where your clients and colleagues went to school; whether they prefer sushi or steak; how they like to work; where they go on vacation; who their spouse and kids are; and what sports they love and charities they support.

When I say it’s about who you know, I don’t mean it’s about who you’ve met. I truly mean it’s about the people you come to understand and care about as people.

LinkedIn is awesome. It’s a terrific way to amass myriad shallow relationships, and to build an ever-updating contact database. (It’s also good for sharing articles like this one, without having to wrangle with an editor.) But if you want to truly jump-start your career, you need to go beyond LinkedIn to build authentic, meaningful, and deep relationships with like-minded people. Go to lunch with them. Hit happy hour. Congratulate them on their wins, and linger with them over their losses.

Many of the folks I met at my first job are still my dear friends. And I remain in touch with the best people from virtually every job I’ve ever worked, many of whom I’ve worked for and with more than once, many of whom I’ve hired (or helped find jobs) more than once.

People say don’t burn bridges, but that’s only half the equation. The key is to make sure you build them.

 

LIE TOLD BY OLDS: Success requires sacrifice.

HERE’S THE TRUTH, YOUTH: You have to make work…work for you.

It’s a popular sentiment, especially among the olds, that success is all about self-sacrifice, that the only real path to the top is the one that leaves you bereft of your health, your relationships, and your sanity.

According to the mass of business bloggers you have to up your productivity; caffeinate your focus; devise “hacks” that will make up for actually spending time thinking, cultivating relationships, and maintaining your well-being. Nope.

Any sustainable personal successes will be underpinned by health and sanity. If you allow your well-being to become imperiled it’s only a matter of time before your performance suffers, and success becomes impossible.

That means you likely need to make time to meditate. To exercise. To invest in meaningful relationships with your family, your friends, and your own soul. And frankly, that’s impossible to do if you spend your every waking moment working. In fact, I don't even want you to spend all of your office hours working. Trust me, your boss isn't.

You’re going to be at the office and/or on the for work for considerable hours. But in addition to scheduling meetings, you need to make certain that you schedule time to eat lunch; write in your journal, if you keep one; take 10 mindful breaths; take a walk; hit the gym; call your sister; send a card to your mom; read something new; stop by the animal shelter and pet the dogs; or anything else that affords your humanity as much import as your productivity.

Work will not take care of you. It will make demands of you. It’s your job to make work work for you. No need to tell your boss about all the little ways you’re working to burnish your sanity and nurture your humanity. Just do it.

Sounds crazy? Pay attention to what your boss and/or your bosses’ boss does each day. Aren’t they always dashing off to see their kids’ sports events, or to attend parent/teacher conferences? Aren’t they heading out to lunch with an old friend, a former colleague? Aren’t they always training for a triathlon or going to a charity board meeting? Haven’t you lost track of your boss for a couple hours and wondered what the hell they’re doing? They’re taking care of themselves. They’re buying a birthday present for their brother. They’re visiting their aunt in the hospital.

No matter what anyone tells you, you can’t survive working head-down every day, all day. Find little oases of me-time, and you’ll discover that your productivity doesn’t suffer, it soars. As goes your soul, so goes everything else. Make work work for you.

 

LIE TOLD BY OLDS: It’s not personal. It’s business.

HERE’S THE TRUTH, YOUTH: It’s personal.

Here’s the last lie, and it’s maybe the biggest: It’s not personal, it’s business. Oh, bullpucky. It’s all personal.

As far as any of us knows for sure, we get one life, this life, to live. Sure, maybe your religion has more to say on the subject, but deep down most of us suspect that, at the very least, this life we’re living right now is pretty darn important. And, once you’ve passed through the first quarter of your life, chances are you’re going to spend a major portion of your remaining waking hours absorbed in work. So...

How you treat people there is personal. How people treat you is personal. How you feel about the work you’re doing is personal. Delude yourself if you must, but there’s no such thing as a “work you” and a “personal you.” Believing there is is a recipe for some serious angst.

Whether the boss decides to become your advocate or your enemy has as much to do with how he or she feels about you as a person as it does how productive you are. And whether you sleep like a baby or lay awake at night in agony is a direct reflection on how integrated your work and your life are.

Millennials, you’ve told virtually every researcher that’s asked that you prefer work/life integration to work/life balance. Don’t let some rickety old boss convince you that’s not possible.

CONCLUSION

When confronted with challenges at work, Boomers are likely to respond with “That’s just how it is.” GenXers, with “The way it is sucks.” What I’ve always loved about Millennials, and what I’d exhort you to maintain, is an attitude of “I’m not doing it that way.”

Confronted by the lies I've recounted in this article, it’s your job to know better, and to approach the workplace as something of your own making. Start now.