Mindset: Our Cognitive and Emotional Lives

In 1637, French Philosopher, Rene Descartes stated in his Discourse on Method, “Cogito, ergo sum.” This was in Latin. In English it reads, “I think, therefore I am.” In the same vein about 200 years later Ralph Waldo Emerson stated, “The ancestor of every action is a thought.” Like many, both of these are some of my favorite quotations.

For centuries these sentiments became the cornerstone of our educational system. It was all geared toward rational thinking and logic. The human as a thinking being permeated every aspect of our institutions of government and education. Not much attention was given to the emotional side of one’s being. Even emotional illnesses like depression are treated with cognitive therapies or some form or Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) or reframing therapy.

So, after centuries of status quo things are quietly beginning to change. In the last 30 years many are questioning the truism of “I think, therefore I am.” This shift is taking place in psychology, economics such as behavioral economics, and in other disciplines.

There is now a relatively new saying. Many authors have various forms of the saying, “Emotions drive behavior.” There is even the saying, “All decisions are driven by emotions. We, however, use logic to justify our decisions.” The new quotation may well become, “I feel therefore I am.”

This gives rise to the question, are we logical beings or emotional beings? The short answer is both. Logic and emotions are sides of the same coin. One does not exist without the other. I would even contend that there is no such thing as a solely logical person or a person without emotions. Even psychopaths have emotions. They may not have empathy, but they do derive great emotional satisfaction in what they do. The pleasures are what drive them to commit horrendous crimes.  

Since we are not psychopaths, how do emotions unfold in our lives? A few years ago, I was talking to a wine maker, and he made the bold statement, “No one buys a $200 bottle of wine for the taste. There are many fine wines for $20. The difference is the $200 has a great story that connect the buyer to the wine emotionally. The person is buying a felt experience.” Similarly, no one buys a $200 steak. S/he is buying the sizzle. The sizzle is the story. It is the emotions associated with the environment, the company, etc., all of which arouse a person emotionally. If not, the person would have stayed at home and eaten their $20 steak.

After some reflection, I realize I am more emotional than I had previously thought. From a personal experience the last 5 vehicles I bought have all been Hondas. I am sure there are many great vehicles I could choose from, but emotionally I am wedded to Honda. This wedding took place years ago.

In the 80s, one of the first cars I owned was a Ford Escort. This car was relatively new, but as soon as the warranty ran out it started to break down. It seemed every month I was visiting the mechanic for some repair. After a while the mechanics at the shop knew me on a first name basis. This should have been a warning sign. My mantra today is, “If the mechanic knows you on a first name basis you probably have a lemon.” The parts that were replaced on the Escort, as far as I can remember, were the inner and outer tie rods, the CV boot, CV joint, wheel bearings, an ignition something, etc. These were not minor repairs. I was broke, so these major expenses put a financial strain on my budget.

After sinking a lot of money into repairs I felt there was nothing more to break. I was emotionally tied to the vehicle via sunk cost. The emotional connection only got stronger after the next repair. My thinking was, now, certainly nothing is left to break. Logically, I should have sold it at a loss as quickly as possible, but the sunk cost crippled me. The quarterly visits to the mechanic only made things worse. Fortunately, a pizza delivery guy ran into the back of my car and it was totaled. After that, I vowed never to own a Ford.

The replacement car was a Honda Accord. It was twice as old and had more than twice the mileage of the Escort. The salesman, Gene, convinced me it was a great, reliable car and I had nothing to worry about. His line was, “If you were my son, this is the car I would sell you.” Since I was anchored into the Escort’s regular repairs on a quarterly basis I was waiting for the Honda to break down. After 6 months of no problems, instead of celebrating a reliable car I was even more worried it would soon break down. It took more than a year for the sinking fear of breaking down to go away. After 100,000 miles and no issues I finally accepted a new reality. Of the Hondas I have owned only one has been a problem child. I did have to replace the engine gasket and alternator. These were pricey repairs, but the car was 10 years old.

Fast forward 30 years. Even today, I will not buy a Ford, regardless of the discount or bargain. Logically, I know there are many great Ford products like the Mustang, but because of my Escort experience I would prefer to buy something else. This is a case of emotions driving behavior, not logic.

Another personal example of emotions reigning over logic that I share with millions of people across the world is our love affair with vitamins. We have been conditioned by the vitamin industry that we need to take vitamins daily. I personally take a daily vitamin with the assumption it will aid in my health. Unfortunately, many independent studies have been conducted by reputable research institutions and universities involving hundreds of thousands of people over many years and not one endorses taking vitamins daily will aid in one’s health. More alarming, there is indication that the daily vitamins may be doing more harm than good. Well, if this is true, logical thinking people and I should discontinue taking vitamins. This is not the case. As one doctor stated, “Other than the placebo effect, the only certainty about taking daily vitamins is it makes expensive urine.”

A national example of emotions trumping logic relates to the college admissions scandal. We read of parents spending tens of thousands of dollar, even millions to get their children accepted into a specific college. Now, logically, not much of this makes any sense since the kids would have accomplished the same at most other colleges and no one really cares which college any of these celebrities attend or don't attend. The probability of them paying others to complete their assignments is not seen as a surprise to any.

There is nothing logical about paying millions to get a piece of paper one did not earn or would not advance one’s career. So, why did these parents do it? It is all emotional. It was the feelings associated with keeping up with the Jones, bragging rights, etc.

Do emotions only affect the rich and powerful? No. Across the US a day does not go by without some new article highlighting America’s obesity or the dire state of peoples’ small retirement account as they near or enter retirement. In the news, we read that 70% of Americans are overweight and close to 40% are obese. On the financial side, we read that over 50% of Americans don’t have $500 cash for an emergency expense nor do they have $1,000 in a retirement account.

Here is my take on both the savings and weight issues. Yes, there are a tiny few who have a medical problem that affects weight and water retention. Yes, there are many who earn very little and literally don’t have an opportunity to save. For the rest of us there is ample room for improvement if we take stock of the situation. In most families there is wanton waste relatively speaking. We live in a time when wants are seen as needs.

If you are overweight you have probably tried many times to lose the weight only to gain it right back. If you are broke and tried to save you have tried and have failed miserably numerous times. There was always that shiny new thing that is really a want, but it is seen as a need. The reason for failure is not the lack of a plan, will power, responsibility, etc. Failure is due to the approach one takes. It is seeing weight loss and savings as logical problems to be solved, not emotional issues to be addressed.

We tend to see weight gain or a lack of retirement savings from a cognitive perspective. When someone does something stupid, we generally don’t say, “What were you feeling?” We say, “What were you thinking?” Stupid behaviors like overspending, overeating, etc, are seen as a lack of being in control of one’s thinking. We even blame ourselves and our thinking, as in, “What was I thinking?” or “I just wasn’t thinking.”

I would contend that overeating and a lack of saving are emotional issue blanketed by a logical argument. Thinking that it is a thinking problem is the problem. The problem is more related to the function of the hypothalamus which is located in the limbic system. I would also contend that overeating has little to do with liking food or thinking it tastes great or being hungry. After the first few bites of food there is a significant decrease in satisfaction from eating. Continued eating in the hope that the food will taste great is only a quixotic quest for an elusive pleasure. Being overweight can also be due to mindless eating in the hope of satisfying a deep inner emotional need.

Similarly, I would contend that overspending has little to do with a need for the item pursued and purchased. In its most primitive way this is synonymous to stalking an animal and eventually killing it. Overspending satisfies an emotional need to acquire. It gives us a feeling of achievement. Metaphorically, the stuff in our shopping bags are the animals we bagged on our hunting expedition.

In the same vein, overeating is also tied to emotions. It is most likely a combination of low self regard, self-esteem, self awareness, self management, etc. It is about filling an emotional void in one’s life. It can also be stress related which in itself leads to more overeating. Stress is also emotional. Stress is how one feels about things. When stressed, the stomach produces hydrochloric acid. From an evolutionary perspective this acid is needed to break down animal protein. The stress triggers the release of the acid. Over time the acid will start breaking down the stomach walls and the walls of the duodenum. The resulting pain is misinterpreted as hunger pains. Eventually, this acid attack leads to ulcers and bacterial infections. As a society, we have accepted this as a normal thing, hence the many commercials for stomach and antacid remedies. 

In closing, the question is not whether we are logical or emotional in our decision making. We are both. There is an intricate connection between the thinking side of our brain and the feeling side. It is the thought that triggered the feeling. It is the feeling that motivates us into action.

It is impossible to have a feeling without a thought. We think things into being. Over time, we train ourselves on how to feel about various things. This in turn dictates how to behave. Hence, emotions drive behavior. Thoughts and associated feelings are generally a reflection of the context of time and culture we live in. One only has to look at fashion and see how fleetingly something that is beautiful becomes hideous. On a global level, foods that are delicacies in one country are considered disgusting waste in another. Over time we are emotionally programmed through a thinking cognitive process. So, we end up with, “The ancestor of every feeling is a thought.”

In my classes and workshops on emotional intelligence I use Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy as I coach participants in reframing how they see and interpret the world. It is all about self awareness and self management. I believe events are neutral. It is our thinking that creates our emotional responses which in turn drives behavior. This belief is rooted in stoic philosophy. Stoic philosophy was developed and taught by philosophers Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, and Seneca.

Dr. Raj Beekie is a professor in the DBA department at Saint Mary’s University, MN. To learn more about our DBA program here is the address https://www.smumn.edu/academics/graduate/business-technology/programs/doctor-of-business-administration-dba

Whether one agrees or disagrees with the thoughts and ideas expressed, he hopes they provide a broader foundation for discussion. Dr. Beekie received his bachelor's degree in Business Administration and Organizational Communication from Concordia College, Moorhead, MN, master's degree in Intercultural Communication from North Dakota State University, Fargo, ND, and doctorate in Organization Development from the University of St. Thomas, Minneapolis, MN.

Dr. Beekie also consults in the areas of career coaching, leadership development, diversity, emotional intelligence, and effective communication. To offer your feedback or contact me, I can be reached at rbeekie@smumn.edu