My mom is my best teacher

This is an open letter to my mom on her birthday. I’ve been lucky to have worked for some of the best folks in the software industry and for the greatest companies ever created. But when I think about who really taught me about life, that all started at home with mom.

Hi Mom --

I'm not sure if you remember, but a few years ago you gave me a box with some old family recordings. One was a video in a format I'd never seen before. I wanted to convert the tape and give it to you on a special occasion, but finding out what it was took me a few years. You might remember that it looked like this:

I thought it would be easy. I scoured the web and talked to a few folks. Some experts, including NASA thought it was a 1" Type C NTSC. That was good news because there are lots of these machines still around and it wouldn't be a problem to convert. I sent it across the country, but unfortunately it was not a Type C, or a Type A, or anything they had seen before. The technician saw gibberish and no audio track. It could have been blank, damaged, or in another obsolete format.

After a ton of hunting, I found a place in Burbank (thank you DC Video) that converted old formats. They handled shows like The Ed Sullivan Show and American Bandstand. It turned out that they had right equipment! It was a 1" IVC NTSC. International Video Corporation built equipment that was used to record many shows in the 70s and 80s. Now out of business, they were located in Sunnyvale not too far from where we lived at the time.

The video tape had a "time capsule" of your 30min show "Madge's Magic Crafts," taped at Peninsula TV studios - Cable 6. Public access TV had literally just started. At the time Nixon was the president, Marlon Brando had just won the best actor award for The Godfather, and Al Gore hadn’t yet invented the Internet.

In 1973 you were 31 and had 2 small kids. I was 5, and Jenni was just 2. It must have been a very busy and challenging time for you, with my dad not around as much as you needed him (being a heart transplant surgeon at Stanford). But somehow you found the time to create this amazing cable program.

Today, the barrier to publish a video is a phone and the Internet. But 44 years ago, it was a different ball game entirely and that's why this video is so awesome. With a family of my own and a busy life, I appreciate the passion and ambition I can see in the show. Not only were you an incredibly creative fiber artist, you produced a regular cable program, found sponsors, developed the content (even the bad quotes :-), became super connected with the community...and raised us. You were a trailblazer.

A few things I learned from you and I remembered when I saw this video...

1. Always follow your passion. You always focused on your areas of passion: art, learning, being creative. It's clear that you loved weaving and art. You are super passionate today, and you were that way at 31. In college you helped me go toward computer science instead of medicine. The wisdom to "do what you love" was essential, and you demonstrated it to our family all of the time. This changed my life.
2. Don't be afraid to take risks. Risks are a part of life and learning. You've always tried new things and were not afraid. I remember when you divorced and we moved to Tallahassee for your PhD program in Psychology, failure was never on your mind. It was hard, but you focused on improvising and adjusting. I think this was a really important life lesson: it's all about adaptability and growing.
3. Being a connector. You've always been great at connecting with people. I remember you having a large social circle, probably 2-3x the "normal" human. You collected friendships because you spent the time to understand. I aspire to be as good at listening and connecting.
4. Spend your time wisely. You were always obsessive about your time, and how you spent it. You also were focused on accomplishments that were usually bigger than what was actually possible. You worked very hard, pushed yourself, and had an impact on what you set out to do. This lesson helped me succeed at my various jobs over the past 20 years.
5. Let people see the real you. You've been a teacher and communicator your whole life. You were successful because you let people see your perspective and personality. People who know you...really know the real you. There is no facade. I think this is critical and has helped me learn how to build trust with people in my life.

When you look at this list, these aren't just about being a great mom, but are the attributes of great leaders. I’ve been lucky to have worked for some of the most successful people in the software industry and for the greatest companies ever created. But, when I think about who really taught me about life, that all started at home, with you. Thank you.

Happy Birthday Mom! Here is your long lost cable show from 1973!!

Note from author: If you liked this, see my other articles The art of change and The art of forgiving.

More about the author: patrickcopeland.org