Mommom Rabbit - 3.29 Interview

Mommom Rabbit

We live a life chasing firsts. First time traveling out of the country, first time buying a house, definitely your first time becoming a parent. Your first time doing anything is easy to know, it’s easy to feel. 

But there’s a major switch at some point. It’s completely invisible except in hindsight. The moment where it becomes your last. 

I was in Philly for the weekend and stopped at Mommom’s after co-working nearby. We had the TV on mute and luckily the voice memos app was on the home screen of my phone, reminding me to do something that had been on my radar for quite some time… Record a conversation with Mommom.

I had no idea that this would be my last time in Mommom’s home. The last time I would see her outside of a hospital bed. The last time I would have her voice recorded on my phone. 

When I asked her to speak with me that day, March 29th, 2022 (Coincidentally 3:29, a massive number in our family as you’ll see later ), I had nothing prepared the way I had for other similar interviews. However, I wasn’t worried. I wanted to treat it like any other conversation I had with Mommom. It’s fluid, it’s witty, honest and loving. There’s teasing and joking throughout. There’s also immense pride, gratitude, and the feeling that you’re being embraced in a giant and yet fragile hug. 

I look back on this interview and wish I kept it going for another 5 hours. There are so many more questions that swirl around in my head. I miss her terribly, but I know she’s not really gone. 

While running on the beach of LBI, I pulled out my headphones to focus and fight through a mental wall around mile four. I felt my chain that Mommom gifted me, bouncing against my chest. I brought it to my lips and kissed it, tilting my head up towards the sky and pointed to the heavens. 

A smile swept over me as my legs got new energy. I’ve got a new first. For the first time in my life, I’ve got an angel watching over me. 

It’s been nearly 3 months since Mommom passed away, peacefully with her three kids, my dad and two aunts (Bonnie and Jodi) by her side. The void has been incredible. I feel it when I start a morning run and can no longer ring her for a call. More recently, when the Eagles had their first win of the 2022 season, and there was no recap conversation to be had about how fast Jalen Hurts is, or if I like the coach, or if I remember when I was kicked out of the Eagles vs. Giants game for underage drinking back when I was 19. 

I often come back to this interview, just to hear her voice. So alive. Same humor. Badass edge. 

I’ll be honest, I am not the biggest believer in life after death, but there has been a change within me. I feel as if I’ve gained some of that edge. As if she’s with me at all moments of all days. I have this gigantic advantage that no one else has, they don’t have the wind and spirit of Mommom Rabbit on their back, in their mind and in their hearts.

It’s been nearly 3 months since Mommom passed away, all the mourning and the hardships have made me stronger. I have more appreciation for life than I ever had. My confidence has soared. My ability to push myself in all categories has risen as well. I feel as if anything is possible for me. I feel that way because I’m not alone, I have Mommom right with me the whole time. 

The last story I’d like to share before presenting this conversation with Mommom Rabbit, is the facetime I had with her on July 3rd, two days before she officially passed. She was still lively, despite having an oxygen mask and being bed ridden. She asked me to come up with a list for all the places I had been, and all the places I am going to be. I thought long and hard about where I was going to travel and realized that Mommom didn’t care about the specifics, she just wanted to live vicariously through me one more time. I realized in that moment that I could say anything and she would believe in me to one day go there. I sent the list over to my dad. New Zealand, Australia, Argentina, Peru and many more made the list. The very last one … the moon. 

I have never wanted to go to the moon, but the thought of Mommom envisioning me cheering as my boots hit the surface of the moon was simply too beautiful to not share. Now, of the many places I feel her presence, between the Ocean in LBI, where her ashes live, and all the little chotskies scattered throughout the family like the clay bunny that sits next to my front door in New York City, the moon sits a top of the list, staring down at me with a smirk, blowing me kisses, as if it was my Mommom Rabbit. 

A Conversation with my Mommom Rabbit 

dated - 3.29.22

Sam: Hey Mommom! I apologize because I came completely unprepared. I have zero questions prepared.

Sam: Butttttt I did want to talk with you today and learn some more about you. 

Sam: My favorite thing is family history. So I want to make sure that I know your parents names, your brother and sister, and the funny stories of my dad as a child. All of it is very important to me. So let’s just start off easy…What is the name of your parents?

MM: My mothers name is Rose. My father’s name is Michael. 

Sam: And Bubby Rose is what we of course called her

MM: Bubby Rose and yes, Papi Mike

Sam: And you have a brother and a sister?

MM: Stash and Diane

Sam: And you were born in Philadelphia or Jersey?

MM: Philadelphia 

Sam: What was the name of the hospital?

(Mommom pauses)

Sam: Or the name of the street? 

(Mommom thinking deeply.)

Sam: I don’t know the name of my hospital, I don’t think so.

MM: I don’t either

Sam: Do you know what part of Philly?

MM: South… oh I was born at St. Agnus

Sam: St. Agnus?

MM:…hospital. Yes

Sam: Nice! What year?

MM: 1937

Sam: 1937…Wow, very cool. 

1 minute 30 into portion 1

Sam: Growing up did you have any hobbies? You mentioned dancing earlier today?

MM: I wanted to be a fashion designer.

Sam: Really?

MM: Yea, so I would take a kleenex and a barbie doll and I would dress her in different kleenex things. 

Sam: And the kleenex would be like a dress?

MM: Yea

Sam: Wow, nice, you were ahead of your time

MM: Oh, I know (Mommom coughs twice)

Sam: What age did you start going to the jersey shore?

MM: Since I was a little little girl. Atlantic City every summer. My mom took an apartment. And she would play cards just so...(pauses to cough and drink water)

Sam: Take your time.

MM: (Gather’s herself)...so she could pay the rent every week.

Sam: She would play cards for money?

MM: Yea, gin rummy. Whatever, yea.

Sam: And she was great?

MM; Oh, she was good

Sam: I don’t have a ton of memories of her but I do remember her playing cards. I know that her and Courtney were incredibly, incredibly close as well. 

MM: Very.

Sam: And what part of the shore were you staying at?

MM: Atlantic City

3 minutes into portion 1

MM: We had a basement apartment. Papi Mike very rarely came down. Stash usually did his own thing. 

S: And what year did you get married… 1954?

MM: Yea

Sam: Cool. And where did you get married?

MM: Upper Darby. I got married in some hall.  My mother-in-law made a wedding. 

Sam: And you had your first kid the year you got married?

MM: Yes, Bonnie. And then 2 years later, I had Steven. 2 years later, I had Jodi. And 2 years later I had Scott. 

Sam: You were busy!

MM: Yes. By the time I was 25 I had four children. 

MM: And then I lost Steven to a crib death. I had my other three wonderful kids. 

Sam: So my dad never met Steven, right?

MM: No.

Sam: And when Steven was born, was he healthy?

MM: Very healthy. It’s just um, it’s called SIDS.

5 minutes into portion 1

Sam: Wow, incredibly tough. And you guys were living in philly at the time?

MM: Yea. I always lived in Philly.

Sam: I know that obviously your husband, my grandfather passed away.

MM: After I divorced him, if I had known I would’ve stayed married (both laugh).

Sam: And that was when my dad was young, 11 or 12?

MM: I moved to a house at 7 and Porter. And then I moved to northeast. I took the kids out of south philly. Sort’ve liked a complex in north east Philly. Bonnie was married and Scott was away at college. 

MM: We (Jodi and her) both moved to Salem Harbor. That’s up in the northeast. Then Jodi went her way, and I went to center city.

Sam: How did you come up with the names Bonnie, Jodi and Scott?

MM: Bonnie is named after my mother-in-law's mother. Jodi was named after my grandfather.

Sam: What was his name?

MM: Joseph

MM: And Scott’s named after, actually, Scott David. And David was my grandfather’s brother.

Sam: And Steven was because of your last names?

MM: No. It wasn’t my last name. My last name was Levin then.

Sam: I know he wasn’t Stephen Stevens (they both laugh)

Sam: Switching topics, let’s talk about my dad as a kid. With what happened to Steven, was he immediately the baby of the family. Were you just happy to have a boy? What were some of the emotions with my dad?

MM: Oh my G-d, I never allowed him to get sick. He couldn’t even have a cold. I swear to G-d.

MM: I wouldn’t get out of bed, until your grandad saw that the kids were up. because I couldn’t walk in the room. It (Steven) left a scar.

MM: But I am fortunate. I have my children. And they have the greatest children in the world. (8:29)

Sam: Your grandchildren. How many grandchildren do you have?

MM: Seven (proudly) and three great.

Sam: Maybe more soon?

MM: (laughs) Maybe! One never knows.

Sam: And when my dad went to college, what were some of your reactions? Was it pride? 

MM: Oh it was. In fact, when we took him to Boston, Bonnie said mom, you could cry. I said no, I'm leaving him for his future and I’m happy about that. 

MM: I used to send him (laughs) I used to send him brownies. I used to send him cake that says Scott. I'd send him pencils and erasers. I would send him all that stuff.

Sam: Really? A care package. Love it! 

MM: And then he would come home with his friends. I used to make ham steaks and whatever for breakfast. 

MM: He was fun. Your dad was never a problem. Never. 

Sam: Wow, amazing.

MM: (Sharply) I’m telling you the truth. Never a problem

Sam: He has a good head on him, that’s for sure.

Sam: Let’s talk about your mom, Bubby Rose. How close were you guys?

MM: So close.

Sam: Were you two peas in a pod?

MM: I listened to everything she said. 

MM: I was sort’ve…sort’ve stupid.

(We share a laugh)

Sam: And she was wise

MM: Oh, she was very wise.

Sam: Any specific memories you have with Bonnie, Jodi, or Scott? Maybe a family vacation, a birthday?

MM: I just, I just enjoyed everything with them.

MM: And I worked, I worked two jobs. Well, when I had Bonnie, I worked as a accounting clerk for Bausch + Lomb optical. 

MM: And then second, I was sitting at a club one night. And a friend of mine came over and said, “We’re opening up an after hour club, we want you to work for us.” I said “I can’t” and they said “just try it”.

MM: And I tried it. 

MM: I made more money than I had ever made in my life. Sam, I had money coming out of my bra. Money flowing out of my pockets.

11 minutes 30 into portion 1

MM: Then I worked at Club Le Bistro down the shore, another club, as a cocktail waitress.

MM: Then I worked at Holiday Inn on the City line, as a cocktail waitress.Then we had a cloak room. I worked wherever I could make a lot of money. So I could feed my kids.

Sam: Were you sleeping?

MM: I would come home. Get the kids ready for school. I would go to sleep. Get up at lunch time to give them lunch. Send them back to school. Then I would stay up and get ready for work.

Sam: Wow, were you having fun at work? It sounds like you had a good group of people looking out for you.

MM: I did. I did. I did.

Sam: Any specific people that you remember?

MM: Yeah, but I don’t want to name them

(We share a laugh)

Sam: Fast forward and now, how about when Bonnie had a kid, now you’re a grandma, now you’re Mommom. 

MM: Oh, I loved it. I loved her kids. Bonnie would come over with a suitcase full of toys. We never opened them. They would sit on the bed and I would take a blanket and find a fuzzy and would say, “Let’s find a fuzzy” and they loved it. 

MM: And Scott left a G.I. Joe doll with no head. It had a scuba diving outfit, so we put a head on the guy and Jarrid would play with him and he loved it.

Sam: Amazing. 

MM: I know

Sam: And then Courtney comes into the mix 2 to 3 years later. 

MM: Yea. She was great. I took them all over with me.

Sam: You were a young grandma.

MM: Yea I was in my thirties. 34.

Sam: That’s pretty cool.

MM: And I’m glad because I got to play with them. And then when you and A.J. were born, I was there a lot with A.J.

Sam: Where? In Chicago?

MM: New York. And then you were born in Boston

Sam: I was born in Boston in ‘97, and then moved to Chicago in ‘98.

14 minutes into portion 1

MM: You stayed here one time. I don’t know if you remember. Everything was fine and then all of a sudden you went upstairs, went in the bathroom and then locked the door. I walked up and knocked on the door and you said, “I’m not coming out.”

MM: I said, “Why?”, you said, “I’m not coming out”. I said, “Ok, you know what Sam, I'll call the fire department and the police and they’ll come over and unlock the door.”

MM: Next thing I heard, you unlock the door, you come walking down the steps and I said, “You wanna play cards.” You said, “Sure Mommom.”

MM: We played cards like nothing ever happened. 

S: Yea, well I guess I had a mix of short term memory and anger management issues. I grew out of it, that's for sure. 

MM: And then remember, when you thought you saw Santa Claus?

Sam: We did see Santa Claus! That was confirmed. It’s just a difficult story to tell because no one believes, but A.J. was there too.

MM: I know. I said, “Look out the window” and in the sky we saw the sleigh go by. 

Sam: Do you think it was a light, or do you think it was actually Santa?

MM: It was Santa

Sam: It was!

MM: I know

Sam: So A.J., you and I will keep that together, knowing that our eyes did not lie to us. We saw Santa Claus!!! With his reindeer.

MM: We used to have a tree with all the gifts. 

Sam: You remember the story of Elmo with A.J.?

MM: Ahhh! Oh my G-d. I lived in old city then. And he wanted to see the water. And he wouldn’t go anywhere without his Elmo. We went all the way down on the ledge. And this boat went by and splashed. And splashed Elmo!

MM: “Why did you do that?! Why did you splash my elmo?” And he had a balloon. So we took the balloon and he fell asleep so I took him home. 

MM: As we got to the door. I opened the door and the balloon went flying up.

Sam: NO!

MM: He said, “I want to go back.” I took him all the way back again. He was fun, he was good. 

Sam: Nice. Amazing.

MM: I’m going to go to the bathroom

Sam: Go ahead

Intermission

Sam: What is the significance of 329?

MM: Bubby’s address.

Sam: In what part of town?

MM: South Philly

Sam: And it was just a special home for everybody?

MM: The address has just always been with us. It’s like she’s looking over us.

Sam: It’s like she’s looking over us, wow.

Sam: I feel like she was the queen. 

MM: Oh yeah, oh yeah. 

MM: It’s a wonderful thing. 

Sam: I have a question

MM: What is it?

Sam: What would you tell your younger self?

MM: … (takes her time)...To love myself more…

MM: And be more of my own person.

Sam: I think that’s lovely advice.

Sam: My next question is more sporadic and random…where did you learn to write backwards?

MM: I…I…I… I never learned, I just did it. 

Sam: Oh my G-d!!! That’s such a talent.

MM: Let’s see.

2 minutes into portion 2

Sam: For this recording's sake. Mommom has this uncanny ability to write letters and then you look at them in the mirror and you can view what that letter read… backwards. You can’t really read it unless you’re reading it through a mirror.

Sam: It’s in cursive. I’m watching her now. She starts on the opposite side of the paper, as if it was Hebrew. And there she goes. Naturally writing backwards.

Sam: Think about what has to go through the mind, to be able to properly do this in an efficient way. She’s writing quicker cursive backwards than I write forwards. 

MM: Hahaha

Sam: And she chuckles

Sam: This is like my play-by-play. Mommom’s favorite thing I used to do is play-by-play commentary of Eagles games or Sixers. A.J. used to be so annoyed and she would continue to encourage me.

Sam: Maybe one of the reasons I ended up going to journalism school.

(Pause)

Sam: She’s about four lines deep. Just easily writing. I have no idea what she’s writing. I am excited to read it.

Sam: A love note to her grandson maybe. 

MM: Ok, go ahead.

Sam: I am standing up to go look into the mirror. Let’s check this out.

Sam: Alright

Sam: “Sam”

Sam: Oh gosh, it’s tough

Sam: Sam…with…are you...me…I love you…Mommom

Sam: Ok. Dear. Oh oh oh I got it. I was reading it backwards. 

Sam: “Dear Sam, I am so glad you are here with me. I love you Mommom.”

Sam: Wow. That is insane. Because looking down at it normally it actually looks like she's stoned or on something because you cannot read that. Now it is a token that I’ll keep forever. 

MM: Did you get it?

Sam: Yes, as soon as I stopped reading it backwards, and did it forward it was super clear. 

4 minutes into portion 2

Sam: What is your favorite place in the entire world?

MM: That’s a hard one…home.

Sam: What is your favorite food in the entire world?

MM: Vegetables.

Sam: What type of vegetables?

MM: Broccoli. Potatoes. Carrots…All vegetables. 

Sam: What is your favorite restaurant in Philadelphia?

MM: I guess Ralphs.

Sam: Nice

Sam: How many years have you been going to Ralph’s?

MM: A lot of years. 

MM: Remember we went? 

Sam: Yeah! Of course. My favorite

MM: You took me for lunch.

Sam: What is your favorite color?

MM: I think gray.

(Both laugh)

Sam: Who is your favorite Philadelphia Phillie of all time?

MM: Hmmm. I think maybe Mike Schmidt. 

Sam: Over Jayson Werth?

MM: Yea

Sam: You had such a crush on him.

Sam: Nice. Have you ever been to a Phillies, Eagles, Sixers or Flyers game?

MM: I’ve been to Flyers. I was at a Phillies game.

Sam: Do you remember what year or decade?

MM: Nah. It was in a box, where they brought you food.

Sam: What was your feeling when the Eagles won the super bowl?

MM: (Immediate response). Oh my G-d. I am a Philly fan so I don't have to tell you. It was wonderful.

Sam: Were you more excited for the family or the city?

6:30 into portion 2

MM: The city

Sam: Nice! Did you see videos of the parade

MM: Oh yea. It was great. And when the Phillies won! Oh my G-d.

Sam: In 2008?

MM: Yea

Sam: I remember that day, I cared more about the Phillies winning for my dad than for me. And I felt like the Eagles were for me. I really wanted that for me.

MM: Do you like Bill Murray? That was my favorite picture. (Pointing at the TV)

Sam: Of Bill Murray?

MM: You have to see that movie. St. Vincent. 

Sam: Ok cool. I will. I’ll watch it.

Sam: Who’s your favorite actress?

MM: I like Jennifer Aniston.

Sam: Who is your celebrity crush?

MM: John Mayer

Sam: Who is your favorite band?

MM: I like Last Waltz with Robbie Robertson. I like that.

Sam: And…what was the last concert you went to?

MM: Stevie Nicks…Fleetwood Mac

Sam: NICE!!!! Where?

MM: The Borgata. In Atlantic City

Sam: That’s a great one

MM: My first very show my sister took me too. The actress's name was Zazu Pitts. They made a movie out of it. I can’t think of the name. Jeez. I’ll think of it at 4 o'clock in the morning…Arsenic and Old Lace

(Share a laugh)

Sam: And umm

MM: My favorite drink…cranberry juice.

Sam: How many dogs did you have?

Sam: Spike. Snickers.

MM: Bridget. Sunday.

Sam: Nice, I never met them.

MM: Nope you didn’t.

Sam: Spike was 100 years old.

MM: Yea, Spike made it to 16.

MM: First I had Bridget, she was the love of my life.

Sam: What type of dog?

MM: A poodle. 

MM: Then I had Sunday

Sam: What type of dog?

MM: Schnauzer

MM: Allan bought him for Bonnie. I didn’t have money to feed the kids. He bought her this dog. And the first night I went in her room the dog fell from the bed onto the floor. I took him. He was mine after that. So I had both of them

Sam: I got a good question.

Sam: Where did you learn the technique to open a butterscotch krimpet?

10 minutes into portion 2

MM: I don’t know but you know what you do

Sam: Yea, explain what you do

MM: You smack the side where the icing is…like that.. (claps her hands together three times)

MM: And then when you open it, it stays on the krimpet.

Sam: Yea, it doesn’t stick. It defies physics. 

MM: Go get that out of the freezer. 

Sam: Right now?

MM: Yea

Sam: Ok sure. Here I am, taking the butterscotch krimpet out of the freezer. 

(Pause)

Sam: What was the reason for getting Spike or Snickers? 

MM: Allan and Bonnie called and asked me if I wanted a little chihuahua. And I said “No, and don’t bring him to me!”

MM: I knew if I saw him…of course they brought him to me. He was this big (holds out her palm) in my hand.

MM: Snickers. I used to see a woman walk up and back with Snickers. 

MM: (coughing). I can’t wait for that medicine.

Sam: Yea

MM: She was my neighbor, who I was really close to and babysit. And Jodi would come from work and I got out of the car, and she used to hold him like a baby. And I went over and he kissed me. 

MM: I fell in love with him immediately. I said to Jodi, “That dog is going to be mine.” She said, “Mom! It’s that woman's dog.” I said to Jodi, “That dog is going to be mine.”

MM: A couple months later Barbara called, “Do you want Snickers?”. I said “Don’t play with me. I said you know I do.” I gave her I think $400. 

MM: She gave me all kinds of costumes for Snickers. I threw them all away. 

MM: And Bridget. I went through hell with Bridget. She was a poodle.

MM: I think if I would’ve been married, I probably would have had another kid. I was at my mothers with the three kids. I wanted a dog. I looked in the paper and saw a listing for a poodle. I think they wanted $40 bucks for it, which I didn’t have. I borrowed it from a neighbor. 

(Coughing some more) 

MM: So I went and got it. It was tiny. But my father wouldn’t let me in with the dog. He said you have to get rid of the dog if you want to come into the house. 

MM: So I moved a couple blocks away from them. And they wound up loving the dog and wanting to walk him. 

MM: I said you threw me out of the house and now you want to walk the dog? Which I let ‘em. 

Sam: (Pointing at the TV), That’s the actress from the movie I watched the other night

15 minutes into portion 2

Sam: Ok, let’s think of one last question. You have a piano in the house, why?

MM: My mother played. My sister played. I don’t.

MM: It was my mothers and I took it. 

Sam: Did you wheel it in the house yourself?

MM: With one finger…

Sam: With one finger (chuckles)....amazing

End of Interview

If you've made it this far, I thank you. If you're ever with me in person and you've read this whole piece or know how close I was to my Mommom, please bring her up. It brings me nothing but happiness to speak about her. In some ways, I feel as if she's not really gone, just taking a long vacation. Her spirit is still very much alive and I feel and see that in each person that knew her well, from the doctors who cared for her while she was sick with cancer and covid, to my big, wonderful family that saw her incredible strength to make it through that. Mommom, as fragile and easily bruising as she was, was the strongest person I've ever met.

Rest Peacefully Bunny,

Your loving grandson Sam