The money only flows one way...

My role is to manage interactions between a huge corporate IT organisation and Government organisations. This is ultimately a supplier vendor-relationship.

My whole life, I’ve worked in a ‘service’ role. Recently, whilst reflecting on what has worked best throughout my career & why, I had an epiphany…

  Service isn’t one way.

Think about the last time you bought something in your private life, this might be (if you’re really lucky!) a drink or meal in a bar or restaurant, or an item such as a car or TV. Now think through the process you went through, there was something you needed…you’re hungry, you went through a selection process - do you pick the burger or the salad? You select your choice, and in this example, consume, pay, and you’re done.

How did you find the ‘server’ (the waiter in this example)?

How did you treat the ‘server’?

I expect the answer to the first question, ‘How did you find the server?’ is pretty binary; good or bad to varying extremes. That will have affected your experience, which would influence whether you would return or become a repeat customer.

I’m more interested in the second answer, ‘How did you treat the server?’ Be really honest with yourself. Again, the answer will be binary but this time, think about the overall effect when you mix both together.

I like simple things so have a look at the below chart:

By scoring each persons behaviour either +1 for positive or -1 for negative, the net effect will be clear. To avoid having a neutral or flat relationship, both sides need to be positive.  

In our restaurant example, +2 is likely to get nice table by the window, the extra bread at no cost, a free little something at the end of the meal. In other words, by treating the server positively, it’s likely they will in turn treat you positively. As the server, it’s expected for you to be positive as in theory, you are the one providing the service in return for money. If you’re met with positivity, you’re more likely to act more favourably to the person or organisation you are serving.

In business, we see this all the time. Over the years, I’ve observed and read in business literature about only working with the perfect customers. If I look at the organisations I have worked with over the last few years, the reason our relationships work so well is because we both serve each other. Over time, because of our relationships, I have personally gone way above the call of duty to get the best for them. On the rare occasions where my team or I are treated negatively, no one tries harder than they need too.

Hopefully my point has landed with you. If not, what I’m saying is if you’re ever buying something, in all walks of life, to get the best deals, the most flexibility and to have the most pleasant interactions, all you have to do is work with the person or organisations you’re buying from. Don’t treat them negatively.

I’ll leave you with an example. Last year, I started working with a new individual in one of my customers. Each call/meeting was challenging. The team and I just couldn’t seem to get anything right. In one conversation, the individual even said to us ‘the money only flows one way.’ At this point, we all sat down together and made some conscious changes to the ways in which we worked with each other, this was a two-way change. We each listened to what wasn’t working and made conscious changes to ‘fix’ the relationship and flip us from both feeling and acting negatively to both being positive. The result being that a relatively awkward situation, which could have really damaged our relationship, was completely avoided. Both organisations ended up achieving a significant ask from each other and ended in an overall positive experience for both.

I have two asks of you:

1. Try the above in your personal life. The next time you’re buying something, see what a difference it makes being the positive customer.

2. Pick a professional buying relationship which isn’t a great one, think about how you could be a positive buyer and give it a go.