No more awkward moments when you use this conversational method

What the research says

In his compelling 15-min video—which has been watched more than 13 million times, education content creator Michael Stevens lays out the science of awkwardness and all its fun facts. According to research:

• It is common for brains to be susceptible to feeling occasional awkwardness, as it means that they are successful at cooperating to social surroundings.
• Embarrassment, which is often linked with feeling awkward, is a signal of pro-sociality, and the right amount of it is needed for social survival.
• When a person shows awkward discomfort, others perceive them as being more trustworthy, kinder, and more generous.
• Social missteps activate the secondary somatosensory cortex and dorsal posterior insula, which are also connected to sensation of physical pain.
• Vicarious embarrassment, or being EEE (Easily Empathetically Embarrassed) is an instrument of empathy which is deemed as a positive trait.
• The systematic nervous system that deals with physical threats “fight or flight”, is activated by social challenges where awkwardness may be at stake.
• People who often feel awkward are likely to have the Protagonist Disease: the tendency to act and think as though you are the main character of the universe.

Watch the full video on YouTube to learn more about the science of awkwardness here.

The FORGE method

Originally known as the F.O.R.D method, this trick of turning awkward silences into productive conversations has been used by experts for many of years.

Essentially, it is an acronym that stands for Family, Occupation, Recreation, Geography, and Experience. This system will help you gauge others’ thoughts by basing your discussions around those topics.

Family

Remember that family isn’t just about blood relatives. Many people consider their partners, friends, or pets as part of their family.

1. Question to ask: How is your [brother/sister/relative] doing since [event that happened]?
2. Question to avoid: What is your relationship like with your parents?

Occupation

As we spend a large bulk of our day working, asking about someone’s job tends to be a fairly foolproof question.

1. Question to ask: What made you interested in becoming a [occupation]?
2. Question to avoid: How much money do you make as a [occupation]?

Recreation

This topic covers hobbies, interests, or preferences someone has, which could uncover a person’s unique side.

1. Question to ask: What are you up to this weekend?
2. Question to avoid: I thought only [certain types of people) did that kind of thing?

Geography

Relates to where people are from, places they’ve lived in, or travelled to. This could lead to broader chats on culture and upbringing as well.

1. Question to ask: Is there a place you’d like to visit soon?
2. Question to avoid: Is it true people from [insert location] are [insert stereotype]?

Experience

Last but not least, this one is the goldmine of storytelling. You’re asking for memorable moments, lessons learned, or any exciting experience.

1. Question to ask: What was your highlight of last year?
2. Question to avoid: Isn’t it too late for you to be doing that at this age?

Learn more about the questions you could try asking, and how you could answer these questions yourself, in the full article here.

Awkwardness in business settings

As a B2B company, Mekari’s client-facing teams are prone to facing awkward moments especially with external stakeholders. You never know how people will respond to your pitch, or if your vibe will match theirs.

To accommodate this, Mekarians have their own tricks when connecting with their clients:

Jauharotul Afiifah - Business Development for Mekari Talenta

• Start with a warm and professional introduction
• Express enthusiasm and listen actively
• Showcase previous success stories

Cory Marte - Business Development for Mekari Qontak

• Ask a simple question as a conversation starter
• Ask for opinions and be generous with compliments
• Mention and highlight your personal experiences

Fathurahman Kartadinata - Senior Business Development for Mekari Qontak

• Directly address a common pain point
• Provide tangible examples of product’s positive impact
• Clearly articulate key value propositions of the product

Read more insights from Mekarians, including examples of how they would approach a client, in the full Instagram post here.

Is your awkwardness getting in the way of your work and productivity?

We hope insights from this week’s Monday Mavens edition will help you decrease your level of awkwardness, and boost your confidence to strike up conversations!

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See you next Monday for more!