Be a more composed and emotionally intelligent lady leader with this app
Kathy Archer
🌸Helping women lead their nonprofit with confidence --> So they can enjoy impactful leadership in the #nonprofit world ⭐️ ICF Leadership Development Coach 🎤Podcaster 📒 Author
Emotional intelligence, you've probably heard about it, know you need it but may be unsure how to "get it." In this newsletter, you'll find a number of articles to help you understand what emotional intelligence is, why need it and how to develop it!
As nonprofit leaders, we spend a lot of time focused on our client's and community's needs and ensuring they have the tools to be their best selves. But, sometimes, we forget to turn that focus around and use those same tools ourselves.
Recently I was talking to a client about setting goals and how to break them down. She laughed and said this is what we do with our disability clients. I agreed and chuckled that I've been writing goals for clients since I was in college!
Another time I was working with a group of family visitors. They were so excited about the resources they had just received to help families expand their children's emotional literacy. Funnily enough, I was working with the leaders to develop their emotional intelligence. The books, flashcards, and stuffies depicting certain emotions could also be tools for team conversations to help them expand their emotional literacy.
In leadership, we get hyper-focused on getting things done, achieving results, and forgetting that we need to grow and develop. And in many cases, we have the tools already available to do that.
Just like there is a focus on increasing emotional vocabulary for children, there is more and more focus on helping leaders improve their emotional vocabulary and thus their emotional intelligence. So let's explore how increasing our emotional vocabulary works.
Understanding the language of emotions
Did you know those anxious thoughts you experience indicate that you feel you don't have control over something? When you realize this, you can start to identify what you do have control over and what you don't. It helps you prioritize, ask for help or let go of what you can't control.
Were you aware that anger gives you the energy to break through a barrier that is in the way of what you want? Knowing that can help you identify what that barrier is and what to do about it. Anger is an action emotion. Conversely, anger differs from feeling resigned, which has you giving up.
Stop ignoring your emotions
Far too often, we overlook the messages our emotions are giving us. But when you learn to understand what certain emotions mean, you'll be a smarter leader!
Leaders manage heavy loads. With this burden, often things come at the leader that triggers them and their emotions. However, many of us, especially women who are fearful of being called emotional, try to suppress, shut off or tune out those emotions.
This is what happens when you ignore your emotions
Two things can happen when you try to ignore your emotions as you push through to-do lists, meeting and dealing with people.
Learning to explore what you are feeling for valuable data
It's valuable data I want to focus on for a moment. When you take time to understand how your emotions are informing you, you'll be better able to deal with all of that.
Increasing your emotional literacy helps you understand what your emotions mean
As I've developed my leadership, I've also learned to build my emotional intelligence. To do that, I've needed to increase my emotional literacy. I needed to learn the language of emotions. I have had to take apart the words surrounding emotions and feelings, understand what they mean, and label what I'm feeling with finer emotional granularity.
Here's how I increased my emotional literacy
To increase my emotional literacy, I've had to figure out what's happening inside me, why, what it means, and where it's pointing me. To help me do that, I engage in self-reflective practices such as journaling. One of my favourite tools to help me decipher my emotions is the dictionary and thesaurus app.
Listen to my real-life example
I sat down to journal one evening after an incident with someone that didn't go so great. I knew I was still stewing about it by sensing the tightness in my chest and jaw! I was irritated and annoyed!
Emotionally Intelligent women leaders are more effective, stronger and more impactful than their less emotionally intelligent counterparts. How did they develop their emotional intelligence? By increasing their emotional vocabulary. The more accurately you can name your emotion, the quicker you can move through it. You get control of your emotions by getting clear on your emotions. Clarity is the ticket.
In this blog, you'll begin to understand how to gain that emotional clarity thus giving you back emotional control and increasing your emotional intelligence.
What is one of the times you need to manage your emotions most? During conflict! When Sarah Albo joined me on the podcast to talk about the emotions of conflict. During this episode we learned how to get to a place where you can use your managed emotions to brainstorm and problem solve, coming to a resolution much more quickly. Tune in below.
As a busy woman leading in a nonprofit, you don't have time for mindfulness...or do you? Learn how to do mindfulness in minutes in this article
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Kathy Archer, Leadership Development Coach
What helps to stay composed at work? How have you learned emotional intelligence?
Leadership Development Coach Kathy Archer helps women develop confidence, maintain their composure and lead with integrity! She is the author of Mastering Confidence and the Surviving to Thriving podcast host. Kathy blogs for women leading in nonprofits at www.kathyarcher.com/blog
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The more we talk about emotional intelligence the more we will learn, grow and positively impact those around us.