My Life-Changing Moment

Last week I shared a post about how social media is increasingly becoming more and more of a highlight reel. 

In hopes of being more breaking the mold, I am going to consciously try to share more vulnerable content that highlights some of the things that people probably aren’t used to seeing. The downs, the struggles, and the actual behind the scenes of the keystone life moments. 

Without seeing a full picture then people will never understand why we are the way we are, what it takes to do certain things, and in general, to show that none of us are perfect. But by constantly working on ourselves and chipping away at our goals, we’re able to make progress.

Today’s post is to highlight the most life changing moment I’ve ever experienced to date and how it has impacted me to date.

For those who I’ve been connected with for a while (or read my book), you know that my dad passed away when I was 12 years old. 

This is single-handedly the most impactful moment that I’ve experienced to date. Here’s how that moment impacted me and helped shape me be the person who I am today. 

By losing the one person in my life who I perceived to be as close to a Superman as possible, I quickly realized at such a young age that tomorrow is not guaranteed. In the years to come, I made a promise to myself and my dad that I would forever live my life by doing the things that brought me the most joy, energy, and passion.

I remember going into high school and telling myself “well, tomorrow really isn’t guaranteed so I may as well try things out and find out what I like to do”. I joined the football team, the swim team while playing varsity soccer, ASB, AP courses, the PETA club, and made friends in every single clique that I could. I didn’t let one group or passion project define who I was.

This mindset is something that I carry to this day. If there’s something that I want to do, feel passionate about, and think it aligns with my goals (or could be future goals) then I will do it. I’ve developed a sort of fearless mindset from coming face to face with death at such a young age. I constantly tell myself “well shit, if now now, then when? I could die tomorrow and wish I would have at least tried to do this, so might as well give it a shot while I’m healthy and physically able to.”

Another thing that I gained from losing my dad was an unrelenting fire to keep on going past what I had previously thought I was physically capable of doing. In sports this meant digging inside to put out twice the amount of practice, reps, or effort. Swim practice at 6 AM, a full day of classes, 2 hours of soccer practice in the afternoon, then sticking around for an extra hour to work my technique before driving 45 -50 mins home in traffic, followed by dinner with family, homework and sleep. I honestly think that for a while, sports was my outlet for most of the anger that I felt from losing him.

Over the years, I was able to hone in this anger and turn it into a more productive use of energy. 

Instead of aggression and physical activities, I learned that I developed a mental strength that I could use for work and really difficult projects. Throughout college, I used this to work insane hours and do some pretty remarkable things. My senior year I was leading student events for the entire university, advisory board, 16 college credits, an internship, leadership role in a professional organization, founded a multicultural student council, all while DJ’ing 3-4 nights per week and trying to enjoy my college experience as much as possible.

But it wasn’t until my mid 20’s when I really figured out how to optimize my passion, energy, and effort in a healthy manner. Instead of killing myself by sleeping 5.5 hours a night and working all the time, I learned that I could get more done by focusing on fewer things, resting more, and developing more healthy relationships that would foster growth and happiness. I’m 28 years old now and still working on this every single day, but I’ve learned a lot from everything that I have done, the people who I’ve lost, the f*ups and major mistakes I’ve made.

Losing my dad will always be one of the most life changing moments I will ever experience, but am grateful for the things that he taught me while he was alive and for the mindset that I was able to develop after he passed away. 

Thanks for taking the time to read a piece of my story.