Most of the Worst Bosses Never Find Themselves (titles don't determine performance)

Getting corrected can feel like getting stabbed or can feel like getting coached. It just depends on who is doing the correcting.

Leaders coach. Others stab.

Every day you have a new way to prove yourself.

Leadership is often defined by moments of crisis and turbulence. It doesn't have to be. You can find and create leadership opportunities every day. Every day you must create your own opportunities.

If you lead but don't actually coach aren't you really just a manager? If you are not a coach, are you a true leader?

Too many wannabe leaders are just managers. They don’t coach because they cannot, they have not lived the life they hope to create. On the flip side, many managers lead by example and are able to coach their team to new heights. Titles don't determine performance.

The best coach is: 

“…a coach who’s not only fabulous at the process of coaching, but also has achieved great success in exact areas that you dream of excelling in.” – Kathy Caprino

To coach others, your mindset and actions must be aligned.

The basic mindsets coupled with actions that the best leaders (coaches) have: 

Unless You Give Up, Failure is NOT Your Fault.

Your past is not your fault. People who tell you otherwise have a hidden agenda. The guilt and the shame of your history cannot be what guides your future. 

Honesty Above All Else

Integrity is wholeness. It is being true to yourself and to others. It is where your words and actions are aligned. 

Dr. Peter Chee said:

“Integrity is the value that ensures all other values are honored.”

A leader lives their own values so they can help others do the same. 

Succeed in Spite of Others. 

Most people will not support you. Most people will not encourage you. 

Don’t let them hurt you. Don’t let them stop you. 

Keep going, day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute. 

To Grasp Success, Let Go

Let go of pride. 

Let go of regrets.

Let go of wounds.

Let go of your self-doubt.  

Let go of false expectations. 

“We see the world as what we carry in our own hearts.” Oleg Vishnepolsky

Always Take Responsibility 

Capturing opportunity happens after we take responsibility. Even though we are not at fault for what has been done to us. In order to succeed we must TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.

You should not, you cannot bear the guilt and shame of the actions of others. Yet, in order to move forward you must take responsibility.

Take responsibility for your actions. Take responsibility for your team’s actions by coaching them. 

Leaders are coaches who want performance from a personal and business perspective and take responsibility for both.

"...look for leaders who have a high level of concern for people, while at the same time a high concern for production." - John Eades

Not Placing Blame 

Blaming is addicting. Blaming kills relationships. It might be logical, but winners never blame. Winners aren’t always logical. 

Blaming never solves anything. Blaming shortens and distorts your potential. The only thing that is real is what we choose to believe. 

Sincere questions reduce blame. Searching for truth rather then your own agenda reduce blame.

Find Yourself [by Getting Over Yourself] 

Whenever it is about you, you are wrong. 

Having a good life is not about you. Having a good job is not about you. Getting a job is not about you. Be a leader is not about you. Finding yourself is a work of defining. It is about your own definition of you. You are the story you tell yourself. You can be anyone; you can be anybody. 

And others will help you too…James Citrin wisely teaches:

“All the energy and commitment that you dedicate to the success of others, therefore comes back to you as those others in turn become committed to your success.”

Bringing it all together… 

True leadership, true success - comes from finding out what others think, perceive, want and do and then helping them achieve their own dreams. If you want something, figure out what others want and give it to them. 

"Successful people become great leaders when they learn to shift the focus from themselves to others." – Dr. Marshall Goldsmith

Coach them. As your mindset shifts you will help more. Then you will get what you want. 

Don’t just incrementally improve your life. Change it. Embrace the opportunity to do something drastically different. Live your purpose by helping others. 

Want more happiness? The get it by giving it. 

Your Turn: What Experiences Have Helped You Become a Better Coach?

You teach me more than I share, please share your thoughts. I read every comment. If you valued this post: comment, like, and share via your Twitter, LinkedIn, beBee, Google+ and Facebook platforms. I encourage you to join the conversation or ask questions - so feel free to comment on this article.

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