Most worthless emotion is 'self pity'

We all agree that certainly that 'Self Pity' i.e. most destructive vice if you like, that a person can have. More than pride, which is supposedly the number one of the cardinal sins - is self pity. Self pity is the worst possible emotion anyone can have. And the most destructive. It is, to slightly paraphrase what Wilde said about hatred, and I think actually hatred's a subset of self pity and not the other way around - ' It destroys everything around it, except itself '.

Self pity will destroy relationships, it'll destroy anything that's good, it will fulfill all the prophecies it makes and leave only itself. And it's so simple to imagine that one is hard done by, and that things are unfair, and that one is underappreciated, and that if only one had had a chance at this, only one had had a chance at that, things would have gone better, you would be happier if only this, that one is unlucky. All those things. And some of them may well even be true. But, to pity oneself as a result of them is to do oneself an enormous disservice.

Use the rest of the book to write down your interesting thoughts and drawings, and that's what the book would be, and it would be true. And it sounds like 'Oh that's so simple', because it's not simple to stop feeling sorry for yourself, it's bloody hard. Because we do feel sorry for ourselves, it's what Genesis is all about. You can’t stop feeling sorry for yourself overnight, its an evolving process.

Basically I was a victim for self-pity until a mentor guided me over the course of months, where conversations revolved around: “It is not all about you.. contrary to your innate belief, people don't care or daydream about you. So stop looking for pity” “Man up. Just because you are nice guy, does not mean things will come to you. Take risks, make decisions. Some you lose, some you gain.” And day by day, I took on more of life challenges. If I thought I was scared or unable to do something I just went and tried. Failed, but kept going.

Self Pity is excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over one's own troubles. Its manifests also into some kind of passive sadness and even a feeling that others should feel bad for you. To break it down we need to understand few things : The ultimate aim of human experience is to find happiness. That's how we are wired. Now many times it may exhibit itself in very simple and dumb ways, for example a person performing a robbery is also doing it for his happiness. Same is true for anyone doing charity, both are doing it for their happiness. It's like the outer layer of a onion, it's just doing its function, it's what inside defines the overall action.

If self pitying is a result of a bad financial situation, lost love, shitty job, or extreme poverty then there is always something which you can do in the long duration to improve your pitiful existence. Improve yourself gradually with research and self education, develop integrity, competence, dependability and land a better job, follow this up with better new friends who motivate you or encourage you to be better. When you are in a better financial situation with an improved personality start looking for a mate to share your life with or find a better group of friends to associate with.

Misery loves company so the real key to stopping self pitying is to find and associate with humans who are not engaged in self pitying themselves but have a realistic more optimistic view or attitude towards life and themselves and have decided to be happy about their existence no matter how bad their current circumstance. Cheers!