Motherhood: It's About Making Every Moment Count

When I was in high school in Long Branch, N.J., there weren't a lot of sports options for girls: we had cheerleading, and we had baton twirling.

I tried out to be a cheerleader, and when I didn't make the team, I set my sights on becoming a baton twirler.

My mom supported my decision, even though I’d never done it before. And when I decided I wanted to twirl fire – something I’m still metaphorically doing today! – my mom made all my outfits, and she stood on the football field with a blanket, just in case. She never told us we couldn't do something. Instead, she helped us figure out ways to succeed.

My parents also made sure we understood that being smart is cool. My mom’s favorite quote, “Ambition is part of femininity,” has always resonated with me. They ingrained in us the idea that we had to study and learn, and get all the knowledge we could, and that in turn would open doors for us and pave the way so we could do anything we wanted. Because I had those messages all through my childhood, I never saw insurmountable barriers. Instead, I saw obstacles you could get around or leap to get what you want.

Although I am much more like my father, a high-ranking executive at Bell Atlantic Systems and AT&T, my mother inspired me with her energy and drive to succeed in her endeavors. I grew up in a time when it was rare for women to strive for much more than a staff role, let alone to enter the board room. But when my youngest sister went to school, my mom decided to do something unconventional, something most women of her generation didn't -- she started a career. As a real estate agent, my mom became one of the top sales people at her firm, and watching her example had a profound impact on me.  In fact, she earned her way into the Million Dollar club, when home prices in our area at the time averaged $25,000.

Fast-forward to when I was a mother of two young daughters.  I admit those first years of managing a career and a family were very hard. When I first heard the term work-life balance, I thought, “Who made that up? Who has ever had a balanced day, let alone a balanced life?” Striving for balance only sets us up for failure.

Instead, I view it as a work-life integration. I view life as a whole and set priorities, though my priorities may change based on the situation.

When my girls were growing up, ballet recitals and teacher conferences became iron-clad appointments on my calendar, just like team meetings at work. Why? Because it’s important to be at those magic moments in your child’s life. You don’t get them back. But you can’t be at everything, so you have to pick your spots. I tried to be there for the things my children thought were really important.

You also have to be confident in yourself. You have to empower yourself to manage the whole thing, but you can’t set false expectations. It’s hard, but over time I was confident that I could do it. I wanted to be a role model for my children, just as my mother was – and still is – for me.  

In the end, it all comes down to choices. I urge women to shape their own futures and careers. You can’t succumb to social pressures and let others make choices for you. Your intrinsic motivation is the best compass you have.

I am thankful to have grown up with a mother who not only encouraged, but who also demonstrated that if you work hard and smart, you can be and do anything you want. My mom was the perfect role model for me, a young girl with big dreams.

My mother is still one of my best friends, and I have an incredible amount of respect for her. She has dedicated her life to her family, she has always set high expectations for my sisters and me, and, by her shining example, she has been the beacon of inspiration for my own journey as a working mom.

Thank you, Mom, and Happy Mother’s Day!