Moving From "Escaping Anxiety" towards Empowered Action!

Today, let's explore a transformative concept that's been pivotal in my life: The Power of TED.* by David Emerald. This book, more than any other, has profoundly shaped my understanding of two fundamental ways of engaging with the world.

One way of being focuses primarily on problems, leading us into a state of anxiety. And who likes that feeling? Historically, anxiety served us well — it was the alert system that kept our ancestors safe from saber-tooth tigers and other threats. But today, our 'tigers' are the constant stressors of modern life, which our distractions — smartphones, social media, the siren call of instant gratification — only momentarily assuage, often leaving us feeling stuck in a tightening loop of anxiety and escape.

Take this past Monday as an example. I faced an all-too-familiar foe: an overflowing inbox that instantly cast me into the role of the Victim within the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT). The senders of these emails became the Persecutors, and my means of escape the discomfort I felt over the "problem" I saw my unread e-mails as — Facebook and an extra cup of coffee — the Rescuer. However, these quick fixes were fleeting; the emails kept piling up, and my anxiety along with them.

It was in this moment of realization that I chose to pivot towards empowerment.

A Transformational Pivot

I've lived this pattern myself, seen it in my clients, and perhaps you've recognized it in your own life. But there is a way out — through what is called the Outcome Mindset. This approach directs us toward what we truly desire, lighting an inner fire of passion and excitement and empowering us to take control of our actions.

Embracing Your Inner Cast of Characters

What if, instead of constantly seeking an exit from discomfort, we pause, accept the present with a does of self-compassion, and pivot our attention towards what it is we want to create in our lives beyond the challenge we are facing? This pivotal question marks our shift from the Dreaded Drama Triangle to the Empowerment Dynamic of TED* and the thee key roles of The Creator, The Challenger, and the Coach.

In my case, I turned towards the Creator in me, to remind myself of my values of creating peace and a sense of contribution beyond the digital deluge that was here. I had to address the inbox not as an insurmountable problem but as a challenge, prompting me to decide what I could and could not control. Then, my Coach inspired a balanced workflow: 20 minutes of focused effort followed by a 5-minute rejuvenating break.

This ignited an inner state passion and fire inside of me that then helped fuel me forward!

With this approach, I swiftly culled the unnecessary emails and honed in on the essential tasks. This was my small yet significant step forward, marking a departure from the Victim's narrative and a move towards authoring my own story.

The Next Step: From Insight to Action

So, as we reflect on this discourse, I offer the following reflection you may use right now, or perhaps when you are feeling stuck in the DDT in some aspect of your life:

Tap into your Inner Creator: "Beyond this challenge, what do I want to create that's worth the effort?"

Check in with your Challenger: "What's this challenge bringing out in me? What can I control, and what can I let go of or loosen my grip on?"

Work with you Inner Coach: "How can I support myself through this? What's one step I CAN take now?"

This is not a journey we undertake alone; it is one of camaraderie and mutual support. Feel free to share in the comments how this landed for you, and if you have anything else you would like to share on it! Each step we all take towards empowerment adds to our collective journey of growth and fulfillment.

Here's to the Creator, Challenger, and Coach within each of us, eager to redefine our path and the stories we choose to create.

What greatness will you create today?

Dave Sinclair

P.S. Looking for more on this? Grab the book The Power of TED* by David Emerald. It is a fantastic and fun read. If you are looking for even more reach out to sign up for the On-Line Self Guided course that will take you on a transformative journey from the DDT and into The Empowerment Dynamic or to see if coaching is right for you!