My first weekly mental health blog.
Great Expectations
The source of all misery
Feb 11th, 2020
WISDOM OF LOVE
Have you been disappointed lately?
Have you thought of the precise reason why?
Personally I find the sensation of disappointment, meaning its physical manifestation, its bodily expression, excruciatingly painful. And while it still does happen to me on a regular basis, something has changed inside me as I have grown up, both in age and hopefully a bit spiritually too. The pain does not last very long at all anymore. And the reason is that I have identified the reason for my suffering. Would you like to know what the reason is? Because there is much to bet that this is exactly the same reason behind each and every one of your own disappointments. The reason for your disappointment and suffering lies in just one word: Expectations.
We are disappointed because we had placed great expectations: In something, in a piece of work, in a goal, we had set, or most often in someone that you thought would be up to the high moral standards that you have set at least for yourself but which unconsciously you would expect everyone to live by and up to.
Once you come to that simple realization, the logical conclusion to avoid this type of suffering onwards is, as you probably guessed right, to go ahead and strive to suppress all expectations. Surely easier said than done, and yet trust me with a bit of practice we do get there.
Let’s simply let things we can not change be as they are, and accept for instance in advance the fact that Man is not perfect. People will fail you. People will disappoint you. People will commit abject injustices. People will act cowardly. People will commit to doing things that they eventually will not do. People will lack gratitude. People will not say thank you.
Regarding these latter examples, I am not calling for the justification of these behaviours nor am I exonerating myself from my own personal flaws. Or saying that we ought to shut the door to our enthusiasm and optimism onwards, no. On the contrary, I am simply calling for a lowering of our expectations and precisely, a strengthening of our ambition and resolve in action - no matter the outcome. Let’s not expect any gratitude, let’s not expect any thank you, let’s not expect nothing.
The actual nobility of your actions will actually be heightened in the proportion to the lack of expectations towards the outcome of our endeavors and our human encounters. Let’s work towards improving ourselves first, the world second, and towards building our legacy on this earth, no matter how humble.
So do this thing you felt like doing anyways, create this artwork anyways, help this person anyways, fight this injustice, keep denouncing this abjection, simply because these things are the right things to do. Love anyways, live intensely anyways, without expecting anything in return but the satisfaction to go to bed at night facing yourself in the mirror with a clean conscience, a joyful heart and the resolve to be an even better being at dawn tomorrow when the sun rises and blows a soft kiss on your blessed forehead.
Oh, and know that you are loved!
Note: These blogs are words and wisdom of my own and others I have learned from.