My Masterclass In Humanity: 10 Lessons I've Learned From Hosting The Book Leads

That’s a wrap! Season 2 of The Book Leads Podcast is in the books, now entirely published and available for listening and viewing. 

All told, in 80 episodes, that’s over 92 hours (over 5,500 minutes), with 47 of the 80 guests being the authors of the books we covered. That's almost 4 days' worth of learning, questioning, and conversing my way through my evolving network.

And what a trip it's been.

The series originated out of my wanting to have fun in the process of interviewing people, get my voice and face out there, and learn about great books.

And how's it going today?

It's been life-changing.

Yes, I am having a blast meeting and talking to great humans and leaders. Yes, my shiny-domed mug is out there making the rounds in videos and graphics. And yes, I am learning about some great books.

But it goes deeper than and further beyond that.

I'm doing my part to save humanity!

No, I'm no superhero. But I'm curious about people who make the world go 'round. In my conversation with him in Episode 26, in which we cover the book Oh, The Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss, Cornell Thomas called me a griot. What an honor that is -- because of how much I respect people's stories.

These days, throughout the land and around the globe, there seems to be more disconnection than ever. Everything is tense, everyone is on edge. Conversations can change that. Learning about each other helps. Acknowledging both our differences and our similarities helps. That's the power of sharing stories.

And that's what my guests and I accomplish in these episodes. They're my partners in life lessons and communal creation.

Also beyond my initial hopes, the series has been therapeutic for me, showing me what humanity really looks like by connecting with people who want to make the world a better place. Meeting them provides me with peace, reinforcing for me there's just as much satisfaction in sitting back and taking things in as there is in charging forward toward my goals. I'm listening more to what's around me.

I've also realized this is about the legacy technology has afforded me. My kids will be able to listen to their old man doing what he loves to do – tapping into his curiosity and learning about the world around him, keeping an open mind, and demonstrating what life-long learning looks like. (If they would even opt to voluntarily listen to my voice...again.)

I don't write this piece now because I've reached any specific episode number or milestone. I write it because something just clicked. I realized just how strong the lessons are and how common they can be across guests. The themes in the conversations all serve as a strong, shared, foundational web that's weaved from one unique story to the next. My guests might use different words, look different, have different passions, and do different work, but similar themes serve as the connective tissues across our backgrounds and lives.

The episodes to date -- and I'm sure the episodes to come -- serve as my own Masterclass in Humanity.

Here are the things I've learned in this podcast journey:

1. Just Get Started!

So much of this series has been about encountering and overcoming fear. Corroborated in my having met so many content creators through this series, “Just get started!” is powerful advice. We tend to stop ourselves before anyone or anything else can. We get in our heads, caving to pressures we've created and put upon ourselves about how things should look. Sure, we have to do the work and our due diligence, delivering the best we have. But then we have to trust ourselves and get going.

That's especially the case when we have to start something without an audience. Patricia Ortega, MS mentioned that in my conversation with her in Episode 60 -- that leadership is beginning the work of a message, vision, service, or product (much like a podcast) before there are any followers. So yes, find what you're meant for, refine it and make it presentable -- but everyone is capable of offering something to the world around them.

Trust yourself. Just...get...started.

What are you waiting to start on?

2. The Healing In Vulnerability

What I also didn't anticipate was people's willingness to discuss their biggest and deepest challenges and traumas. I would say it needs to be applauded or celebrated, but I don't think they do. I think we should get to a point where we can share who we are. Where it’s the rule instead of some rare exception or event. I'm grateful my guests have shared their human side and who they are. They set a great example for all of us.

When we're honest, sharing who we are at our core and what has tested us most in life, we're being human. This is what we're meant to do. Sharing and being open shouldn't be the exception. It should be a regular practice.

In a sometimes emotional conversation during Episode 64, guest Misty Compton shared the trauma she endured in her relationship with her mother, a relationship which was the driver for writing her memoir, Escapegoat Daughter: A Memoir Of One Woman’s Decision To Go No Contact With Her Family.

Are you as open and vulnerable as you feel you would want to be?

3. The Freedom In Detachment

Another great theme that’s come up repeatedly in the series is the need to detach from the result. To prepare as best as possible, to do the best you can, but then set it and forget it. Cory Carlson mentioned it in Episode 36 while Edie Clarke mentioned it in Episode 48.

Cory, in conveying his faith in God, told me he’ll do what he can during the day but also rest easy at night, knowing that “God has the night shift.” Again, it's about doing what you can but knowing you can only control so much.

Edie and I spoke to that same release of control and concern, applying it to our speaking engagements. In the past, the pressure of how we did and what kind of impact we made might have polluted our thoughts after an presentation. Nowadays, though, in trusting ourselves, we find fulfillment in both the ability to share the work and the preparation to get there. As for the rest of it afterwards -- let the cards fall where they may. 

That same mindset echoes in the lessons of Coach John Wooden, as shared with me by Laura Darrell in Episode 53. The legendary coach shared with his players the importance of showing up to practice and preparing correctly, and that as long as the practice had been done right (the due diligence), the game would take care of itself. 

How do you detach in a healthy manner from the result you're seeking?

4. Listen To Your Inner Voice

The power of listening to your inner voice -- Brad Ritter (Episode 37), Alyssa Berthiaume (she/her) (Episode 46), Danielle Perlin-Good (Episode 59), and Nancy Burger (Episode 63) all felt it in their careers. Something from the past was tugging at them. Unfinished business. They were doing well, but something -- a voice -- was nagging them. Something didn’t feel quite right. They weren’t where they were supposed to be. They weren’t doing what they were meant to be doing. 

I’ve mentioned in some of the series’ episodes that this voice has called to most of my coaching clients. That whether they knew it or not, that unease they felt in their life and work, no matter how well they were doing by society’s success standard, was a voice calling to them, letting them know something was missing and they weren’t tapping into who they really were and were meant to be.

They then began hitting their stride in effectiveness, satisfaction, and fulfillment when they decided to listen to that voice and execute on those needs, that purpose, and their authenticity.

What is your inner voice calling you to do? Are you listening?

5. The Clarity In Chaos

I have a newfound respect and deep appreciation for chaos! The pandemic obviously helped with that, showing us that fighting to make sense out of the unpredictable makes no sense at all. You can drive yourself batty trying to do it.

But we can come to appreciate, be thankful for, overcome, and even look back and laugh at chaos. In some cases, we might even need it. Letting go and coming to peace with what you can’t control allows you to move forward. Those themes are specifically highlighted in my episodes with Alyssa Berthiaume (she/her) (46), Danielle Perlin-Good (59), and Matt Thieleman (Episode 51).

So, look for opportunities in chaos. You don’t need to create it, but don’t miss those chances to see all the pieces that are there when they’re thrown up in the air, scrambled by fate. It can be a great reset.

How do you feel when things are spinning out of (and beyond your) control?

6. The Evolution Of Motivation

So many of us who serve others may start off as people-pleasers. Those two practices may seem like the same thing, but they’re very different. In the former, you yourself also benefit, while in the latter only the other's benefit -- and approval -- seems to be of concern.

There are many people I talked to in this series who shared they're reformed people-pleasers. The funny thing about that is they continue to serve others, but now for different reasons. It becomes a change in motivation, as I discussed with Erin Harrigan in Episode 55. You’re doing the same thing, but the reason you’re doing it is now different -- and healthier.

Even my podcast has a different driving force today than it did when I started. Before, I wanted to get my face and project out there while learning about my guests and some great books. Today, while doing the same work, I’ve learned about and seek to hear great and deep human stories and lessons. 

How do the reasons you do things change as you yourself evolve?

7. The Imperfection Of Conversations

I ask the same foundational questions in each episode, but as anyone who’s heard the series can attest to, I like to go down some rabbit holes based on what my guests mention or allude to. I’ve mentioned that to prospective guests, and they’re still game. Some of them just say, “Well, let’s see what happens and where it goes.”

Most things are rarely perfect. Sometimes you won't know what to say or how to respond or act in a conversation. And that’s okay. We need to get more comfortable with not having a fully safe script in front of us, to instead feel comfortable with the unknown and figure out what we can create and design in the moment, with no previous blueprint in hand. 

Are you comfortable with not knowing where a conversation may go?

8. The Power Of Your Tribe

Your people are out there. Take a chance. Share who you are. 

Out of the 80 people I’ve interviewed so far, I only knew about 15 of them before I started the series, having only met 5 or so in person before the series. The rest I found my way to, sought me out, or were referrals. Most of those “strangers” I only met for the first time when we recorded the episode. 

And based on the talk we created -- full of shared experiences, ideas, and topics -- that guest is no longer a stranger. They’re a trusted colleague. 

Each of them is a world-changer in their own way. There’s networking on LinkedIn , where we can read feel-good posts, solicitations, shares, and flexes, and then there’s really connecting with people who are out to make a difference like you are.

It’s important to keep looking until you find those with the right energy who bring the best out of you.

Who is it you know who is firing up your energy?

9. You Will Do...What You Want.

I've been asked how it is I'm able to produce this series and coach and work a full-time job, especially when I have three young kids at home. I typically respond, "It's what I want."

With each new responsibility, adjustments and reprioritizations need to be made about which hobbies and projects make the cut and continue. Some things are kept while others jettisoned. Sometimes those decisions are hard, and sometimes they're easy. I let go of some other things to make more time for this series. (No, not the kids.)

So, this series is a great reminder for me of that power -- of reassessing things to determine what you want to continue in your life, work, or business and what you won't have energy for...for now.

What are your non-negotiables -- things you won't give up?

10. The Need For Humanity

Again, I come back to humanity. All the episodes demonstrate humanity in action by hearing from and learning about a fellow community member and what they're doing in their work. 

Sure, there were cases, like my conversations with Hesha Abrams (Episode 61) and Joe Weston (Episode 77), in which they talked about conflict resolution and communication, where they appealed specifically to the humanity in all of us.

But all the episodes demonstrated just what can come out of a conversation between two people -- what they both can design, work towards, and hope for in their work and with their common knowledge to improve community.

How are you appreciating, tapping into, and contributing to the humanity around you?

A question came up recently in my feed about whether you know your purpose or not. And that if you do, what is it?

My purpose is evolving my purpose. I've realized how much more important the journey, the everyday moments (and “micro-interactions” - Episode 45: Jim Frawley), and learning today are than a tightly packaged and neatly imagined (or realized) goal down the road on the horizon.

My direction is to grow and get better. I've mentioned Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs during the series countless times. The two foundational do-or-die levels -- the physiological and safety concerns -- are covered -- my family and babies are taken care of. Everything else above that is what I -- what we -- design it to be.

So much power comes from our everyday lives. There will be bad days -- we can rest assured those are guaranteed. But where possible, we can create an environment, a conversation, or an energy that adds to and ripples into the worlds around us, whether it's in our homes, with friends, at work, or in our businesses.

Instead of moving forward to be fulfilled by something off in the distance, I've learned that what I design and accomplish regularly, even on a small scale, is what brings my heart peace. And man, when your heart is full of peace, there's no better feeling.

Learning from my guests brings me that peace. They share their stories, up's and down's, highlights and challenges with me. I think sometimes, when we feel low, it's mostly that we feel we're the only ones going through something. We feel isolated, and that perception exacerbates the sensation of discouragement and defeat.

When you have a great conversation, and share back and forth, and get to break bread with someone who is so different from you but with whom you learn you have so many hopes in common, that's therapeutic. You're learning about your fellow human being. We get back to that connection that we were always supposed to have. We pause and see each other.

Thank you to those who have shared those moments with me to date.

About The Book Leads

On The Book Leads podcast, I speak to specialists and experts across various industries and from varied backgrounds to learn about the book that made an impact and left an impression on their work, life, and leadership. In the course of my conversation I also learn about my guest's background, experience, and work they're carrying out today.

Learn more about The Book Leads and listen to past episodes:

• Watch on YouTube
• Listen on Spotify
• Listen on Google Podcasts
• Listen on Apple Podcasts
• Read About The Book Leads – Blog Post

About Me

I'm a Leadership Performance Coach and Consultant at coachitout.com. In addition to coaching, and as you can see above, I enjoy writing, podcasting, and speaking about leadership. Specifically, I work with clients to realize what they're all about when it comes to (1) new positions they've been hired or promoted into; and (2) rediscovering what they want out of their leadership, development, and career.

My signature talks include Design Your Leadership! Nine Ways to Sharpen Your Leadership Brand In The Everyday, and Platinum Networking: Designing A Unique Experience For Others In A World Of Disconnection.

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Reach out to me at johnmjaramillo@coachitout.com.