To my mum

Every day, I thank my God that I was born to you.

You kept me safe in the hardest of times whether against a cruel man or equally horrible school. I remember your hand on my head whenever I was sick so vividly that, when I get sick today, I miss it.

You used to make me crumpets and Heinz tomato soup. Whenever I am unhappy, I make crumpets and Heinz tomato soup. When I was 11 and wanted to be an actor, you drove me back and forth to the Garrick Theatre. When I was 12 and wanted to be on Piccadilly Radio, you drove me back and forth to the station. When I wanted to be a writer, you bought me a writing kit. When I took your son away, you took me shopping for clothes. When it came to my happiness, my success, my wholeness as a person, you never once put yourself before it.

Yet, it was all I could do to find a comedy for us to watch together because your laugh gave me so much joy and still does. It's slim pickings these days so I am thankful to John Oliver and Billy Connolly.

As much as my eyes witnessed the anger, bitterness, violence, greed, arrogance, resentment and selfishness of my father, you taught me the opposite: love, empathy, joy, selflessness, humility, forgiveness and self-sacrifice. I have not learned those lessons to perfection. Who does? But I am so very lucky that, today, it is those lessons I try to emulate and not his. I may not be making the kind of money he did but because of you, I am alive, free and happy. I shudder to think where I would be if I had taken him to heart. Whenever someone tells me I am a good person, it is really you they are honoring.

People measure success in different ways and there are so many days when I am tempted to think of myself as a failure, one quite recently. But the truth is that career or awards be damned: I cannot be a failure if I live as the person you taught me to be both through enduring patience and by constant example.

Now it is my turn. You have told me that I should not be tied to Chicago; that I should "spread my wings". But of all the dreams I have had; some realized, some not, today's is the most important and it is not centered around me. It is about helping to give you the happiest years of your life -years which you have earned a thousand times over and years which I pray every night, will be many to come.

I want you to paint and garden and sip a Pastis on a warm evening without a care in the world. I want you to laugh every day so loudly I can hear it across the miles. You will anyway but I never want you to worry about me. Even if I didn't have two pennies to rub together, I'd still be OK because I am who you made me to be.

I have often said that the word "love" has become devalued through overuse and in describing our feelings towards things and not people.

When it comes to you, "love" cannot be valued enough. It's four letters just don't seem adequate. I may be some kind of writer but, what I feel for you as the child of the greatest and kindest woman in my life past, present and future cannot be measured whether by one or an infinite number of words. So, such as they are on my best day, my talents in this matter are useless.

All I can say is that whenever you reflect on your life, please do so proudly. You have changed the world by helping me find mine. I know that because I will never stop trying to be a force for good in it always so in gratitude to and in honor of you.

#mothersday