My safe space was violated !!

It was a warm sunny day in southern california. I was finishing up some work in the library and planning to hit the gym before I got home. I wrapped up my work and headed towards my black suv. Unlocking the backdoor of my vehicle, I carefully gathered my dress and got into the backseat to change into something comfortable.

I removed my wig and placed it gently in my front seat. While I was removing my blouse, I noticed an elderly white couple in their mid 60s walking towards their white sedan that was parked diagonally across from my vehicle. As they were walking towards their car, they began to stare straight at me. Though I was in the backseat. At that time there were no other vehicles parked around us. The lady got into the driver seat and the man came around, opened the door and got into passenger seat. I sensed that they were giggling about me. I didn’t care less. 

With a sigh of relief I started removing my bra. The man opened his car door giggled at his wife and slowly began walking towards my vehicle. I was in a vulnerable state with no wig and literally no clothes on the top half of my body. I started to cringe and tried to curl into a ball so he would go away. 

Instead he leaned his hands on my tinted glass to get a better look at my half naked body, with a “gotcha” smile on his face. I starred at him eye to eye literally pleading him to leave me alone. After he starred at me for a while he went back to his car and joined his wife in a victorious laughter of having discovered a "man in a dress". 

I did not know how to respond to this situation. I have changed my clothes in so many parking lots across the country but this is the first time someone actually took time to invade my privacy. My only safe space was violated. I felt so angry vulnerable and helpless. Overwhelmed by anger and fear, I didn’t want this hate to ruin my day. So I drove to the gym and tried to get this unpleasant experience out of my system. I will definitely talk to this elderly couple the next time I see them in the library one of these days. 

We live in a world where even elderly couple like these two can be insensitive towards another person’s privacy. This should not happen to any of us. I can’t imagine what kind of values they are teaching their children or grandchildren. 

My heart goes out to the homeless folks who live out of their car. Especially the trans and gender non conforming folks who’s only safe space is their car. Sometimes they don’t even have a roof above their head to protect them from this hostile and hateful community. #safespace #transsafety