Navigate Life's Waves: Remember to celebrate the Good Amidst the Chaos

As I was walking along the beach today, I started reflecting on the journey that brought me here, to this beach that I rate among the most beautiful white sand beaches in the world. It was 17 degrees, with blue skies and a calm ocean. The sun was glittering on the water as it hung low in the sky, a reminder that next week brings our shortest day of the year.

While my journey to New Zealand officially began with a decision on the opposite side of the world in October 2004, it was the beaches of my childhood holidays that ignited that longing within me. As the long nights and awful weather of autumn set in during the early 2000s, coupled with more rounds of delays on the railway lines and mountains of claims and complaints to process, I decided that enough was enough—I needed more sun in my life.

Today, I appreciate the beautiful environment I have the privilege of living in. Every time I see the sun glittering across the waves, I can't help but think, "How lucky am I?"

For those who read my musings regularly, it's clear that much of my focus is on personal growth and empowerment. It's about owning my thoughts and feelings and using them as pointers to what needs to be seen and heard. When unhelpful patterns play out in our lives, it’s a sign of deeper work that needs attention.

As Tony Robbins says, "Energy flows where attention goes." That often presents a conundrum. It’s a fine balance between bypassing critical issues that limit our growth and putting so much attention on them that we manifest more of the issues we are trying to escape.

On the one hand, it’s not healthy to “put a positive spin on things” if it means ignoring psychological or physical ailments. I saw a quote this week from Zara Bas that resonated deeply:

"If you have to sacrifice your voice to keep the peace, it’s no longer peaceful. You’re internalizing the chaos instead."

On the other hand, if I focus so much on the chaos, I know I’m just inviting more chaos.

Striking a balance is crucial, and it can be more of an art than a science, especially if there are deep trauma patterns and ongoing chaos to deal with. That said, nothing is all bad or all good, I’ve discovered. Even in the extremes of life, we hear from survivors who demonstrate that amid atrocity, there often exists a seed of something else—something that shows us we have the capacity for both resilience and brilliance even in the darkest of times, perhaps even because of that time in darkness.

Personally I think it comes down to a decision. Perhaps even a series of decisions, like this:

1.       This will not get the better of me, I will survive it and fulfill more of my potential as a result – I will become more capable, more confident, more resilient, more self aware, more self loving, and so forth

2.       I will not spend all my time focusing on this, but neither will I ignore it. I have to create deliberate times where I can be absorbed in activities that remind me of all the wonderful things in my life

3.       Repeat

A couple of weeks ago, I came across a picture of the 1970s Holly Hobby wallpaper I had in my bedroom as a girl. That took me back to a time that is a huge contrast to the present. There is so much for which I am grateful, both in terms of the values and skills I learned back then and the experiences I had (like those holidays by the sea), through to the way my journey has evolved and the values, boundaries, people, and places that are now part of my day-to-day existence.

What I have to keep reminding myself is to focus on and consciously appreciate the great things in my life, just as much as I value the lessons from the tough times. When I tune into my body, it’s not hard to tell when it’s weary or in pain. My job is to listen, to nurture myself, and to find the balance that keeps me thriving.

So, what about you? Are you caught up in the chaos, or can you find regular moments to savour the good stuff? Take a hard look at your life—acknowledge the struggles, but don’t forget to celebrate the victories. Life is a gritty, beautiful mix. Are you appreciating your share of the good?

If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy Switch Focus to Get Unstuck, , Intention Is the Key to Transforming Your Life, Win-Win-Win Giving, Sit With Your Sorrow, Wait as It Reveals the Lessons It Offers and Your Childhood Is Not Your Fault but It Is Your Responsibility. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.