Navigating Feedback: Insider Tips from Leaders on Giving Constructive Feedback to Peers and Higher-Ups

Feedback? No thank you! Do you cringe at the thought of receiving feedback? What about giving it? While it can be easier to offer constructive feedback to your direct reports, giving feedback to peers, senior colleagues, or clients can feel like navigating a minefield. However, having this skill in our toolkit can significantly enhance our professional relationships and contribute to a healthier, more productive professional relationships.

The Challenge of Feedback to Stakeholders

Recently, I attended an EGN meeting titled "Managing Up." One senior executive shared his frustration with his HQ's obliviousness to the potential of the SEA market. Despite his best attempts to enlighten his peers and higher-ups at HQ, his efforts were dismissed. His disappointment was palpable.

In another instance, during a client meeting with an HR team, they mentioned that two of their hiring managers were not exactly nailing it with their interview questions. Instead of focusing on value-based inquiries, they were asking personal questions like, "Are you married? Do you have kids?" The HR team was at a loss on how to address this faux pas.

So, how do we give feedback, especially when the power dynamic isn't in our favour? Should we keep quiet and hope someone else steps up? Summon the courage and risk a potential backlash? Grin and bear it, or wait for a miracle?

Let's dive into some insights from seasoned leaders on how their tips.

Insightful Tips from Senior Leaders

I've had the privilege of meeting many successful leaders. When given the chance, I always seize the opportunity to learn from them, especially on the topic of giving feedback. I'm always eager to uncover their "magic formula" to help myself, my friends, and clients navigate tricky feedback situations.

1. Ask for Permission

You would be surprised how much of a difference this makes. A simple "Hey, do you have a minute for some quick feedback?" can help the receiver mentally prepare for it, positive or negative. "This shows respect and can make the receiver more open to what you have to say," said a senior leader. He shared an example of providing feedback to a senior partner: "I have some thoughts on how we could improve our audit process. Would you be open to discussing them?"

Tip: Asking for permission creates a sense of respect and willingness. It can also help defuse potential defensiveness. This is especially effective when dealing with higher-ups or clients who may be more sensitive to unsolicited feedback.

2. Understand the Context

One recurring theme from my conversations with senior leaders is understanding the context before giving feedback. One seasoned executive said, "You need to walk in their shoes first."  Consider the individual's priorities, challenges, and workload.

For instance, a project director shared a story about giving feedback to a peer who was consistently late with deliverables. Instead of confronting them directly, the director took the time to understand the peer's workload and discovered they were overwhelmed with tasks. This insight allowed for a more empathetic approach: "I understand you have a lot on your plate. How can we adjust our timelines or resources to help us meet deadlines?" The director also cautioned on choosing one issue at a time, as focusing on too many issues can feel like an all-out attack.

Tip: Context is critical. Tailoring your feedback to the individual's specific situation shows empathy and understanding, which can make your input more impactful and well-received.

3. Be Specific

Vagueness can undermine the value of feedback. Leaders consistently emphasised the need for specificity. "Don't just say something was 'bad' or "good," advised a senior manager in finance. "Explain what worked and what didn't." Where possible, use specific examples and avoid being judgmental.

A helpful example came from a leader who shared with his peer: "You don't give off much energy in meetings" is not as beneficial as "In the meeting with Jane yesterday, I noticed your body language was rather passive." He added, "Leave plenty of time for the recipient of your feedback to ask or answer questions and respond to what you've said."

Tip: Specific feedback helps avoid misunderstandings and provides clear guidance on what needs to change. Always aim to be constructive by suggesting improvements or alternative approaches.

4. Choose the Right Moment

Timing emerged as a critical factor in my discussions with leaders. "Feedback is all about timing," said a CMO of a major tech company. Deliver feedback when the recipient is likely to be receptive. Avoid giving feedback during high-pressure periods or stressful moments.

She recounted a situation where she needed to give feedback to a senior executive about a flawed campaign strategy. Instead of bringing it up in a heated meeting, she waited until after the presentation. She approached the executive privately and said, "I noticed some areas in the campaign that sparked an idea. Can we discuss them when you have a moment?"

Tip: The right moment can significantly affect how feedback is received. Look for a calm, private setting where the recipient can focus and reflect on your feedback without distractions or stress.

5. Balance Positive and Negative Feedback

While it's essential to address areas for improvement, leaders stressed the importance of highlighting what's working well. "People are more open to hearing constructive feedback when they also hear what they're doing right," a marketing VP told me.

However, some leaders noted that the traditional "sandwich method" (positive feedback, constructive feedback, positive feedback) can sometimes be predictable. When recipients anticipate criticism following a compliment, their defenses go up, making the feedback less effective. (I’m sure many of us have experienced this) So, how do we ensure we're not triggering this reaction, knowingly or unknowingly?

Tip: While the "sandwich method" has its merits, modern feedback techniques emphasise authenticity and collaboration. Balancing feedback in a way that feels natural and conversational can help maintain morale and motivation without the predictability of the traditional approach.

6. Practice Empathy and Active Listening

Empathy and active listening were recurring themes. A senior consultant advised that feedback "should be a dialogue, not a monologue." Show empathy and actively listen to the recipient's response.

For example, a peer-to-peer feedback scenario involved a sales manager addressing a colleague's aggressive sales tactics: "I understand that you have to meet targets, and I've noticed some clients feel pressured. How can we tweak our approach to make clients feel more comfortable while still achieving our goals?"

Tip: Active listening shows that you value the recipient's perspective and fosters a collaborative feedback experience. If you tend to "finish someone else's sentences" or skip follow-up questions, your active listening skills may need improvement.

7. Leverage Support

Navigating feedback across hierarchical lines can be challenging. A strategic way to ensure your feedback is effective is by seeking endorsement from influential allies within the organisation. This approach isn't about manipulation; it's about collaboration and aligning on common goals.

For example, a director once needed to address a critical issue with a department head. By first discussing the matter with the chairman and gaining his support, the director ensured that the feedback carried more weight and was more likely to be acted upon.

Tip:  Seeking endorsement can be a powerful tool in delivering feedback, especially when dealing with higher-ups or cross-departmental issues. Be transparent about your intentions and approach the situation ethically to maintain trust and credibility.

Wisdom from Leaders

Great leaders understand the importance of effective feedback. Here are some quotes to inspire your approach:

• Bill Gates: "We all need people who will give us feedback. That's how we improve."
• Ken Blanchard: "Feedback is the breakfast of champions."
• Doc Rivers: "Average players want to be left alone. Good players want to be coached. Great players want to be told the truth."

These leaders highlight the value of feedback as a tool for growth and improvement. Their insights remind us that when delivered thoughtfully, feedback can be a powerful catalyst for change.

Final Word

Embrace the opportunity to contribute to someone’s development with the right intention, aiming for positive outcomes and delivering your feedback respectfully without belittling anyone. As Bill Gates aptly said, "We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve." So, go ahead and provide that valuable insight—after all, feedback is the breakfast of champions, and who doesn’t want to start their day like a champion?