Negotiation in Life and Business: How to Create Win-Win Scenarios

In today’s world, we need to know how to properly negotiate. And it’s not just for work-related reasons, either - think about scenarios such as leasing or buying property, discussions around job offers, and even buying all kinds of other assets such as cars. 

But it’s really in the course of your work where you can hone your negotiation tactics. More importantly, these skills are an unspoken expectation in the business world, even if you’re not a salesperson.

It could be crafting a client proposal, pitching a product (or other ideas) to the team, internal HR scenarios such as mediation - no matter what you do, professionally speaking, effective negotiation strengthens relationships and allows you to find solutions that benefit all parties.

A word of warning though: it’s no longer the 1980s. The old ‘hard ball’ style of negotiating is out - just like overbearing bosses with the ‘treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen’ mentality. No one wants to work with people like that, and the way we live today, it’s a guaranteed way to get people to walk. 

We are living in a far more considered, social, connected, and empathetic world. When it comes to the modern art of negotiation, we need to be aware of the sensitive culture of the business. I’m not a big fan of coming in with ‘scripts’ to follow, and I don’t ever want my own negotiations to result in ‘winners’ and ‘losers’. You should be aiming to approach the table with the intention of understanding the needs and wants of the other party, and aim to find the common ground with your own. 

Having said all that, knowing the basics will really help you along the path to becoming a better negotiator, and as a result, increase your likelihood of achieving your own ideal outcomes. 

Some of my best tips are below. Stick to these, and in most situations, you should find that both you and the other party will walk away with the feeling that you’ve gotten a fair deal.

• Bullish behavior = bust. 

Don’t come at discussions like a bull in a China shop. Remember, you’re wanting to create a deal that both parties feel good about, and foster good interpersonal relationships with your fellow negotiator. Your reputation can and will take a hit if you don’t negotiate with respect.

• You have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listen!

Take time to actively listen and truly understand the other party's wants, needs, and motivations. Ask questions - it further draws out information from what they tell you, and confirms to them that you’re receptive to their point of view. When you finalise a deal, they will feel that their perspective has been taken into consideration.

• Preparation is key.

If you’re in a situation where you’re part of a team (for example, if you’re part of a team presenting to a panel), ensure that you’re all on the same page. If you’re only representing your own interests, clarify your alternatives. In trade negotiation, this is called your BATNA, or your Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement. In other words, have tiered scenarios so you don’t simply have a binary all-or-nothing outcome.

• Take control and set the expectations.

Especially in a more formal scenario, make sure you set the terms of engagement. For example, outlining that you expect to have a productive and respectful negotiation that results in a win for both parties. This is useful for your own assertion and clarity, but it means you can redirect the conversation if things start getting off-topic, heated or counterproductive. 

• Some deals just don't work.

If you’re in sales, you’ll know this one well! Some negotiations may hit a brick wall. You might be trying to pitch a client who ends up being an unsuitable fit for your product or service. It could even be that the car you want to buy is just that little bit too much out of your price range, and the price can’t quite drop low enough to suit both parties. If you’re in a mediation - or a scenario that requires a real resolution - try taking a break and regrouping to clear your head. Either way, some deals just can’t work, and it happens all the time - it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just learn from the experience the next time around, and adjust your expectations accordingly.

Remember, this isn’t about forcing anyone’s hand; consider the broader context of interpersonal relationships and the long-term reputation cost of trying to decimate the other party. Negotiating is about getting a good deal for you - and with the right attitude and tactics in place, you can make sure it’s a good deal for everyone.