This never happened.

This never happened.

       Twas another beautiful night in the desert, and Bert, an old hippie at heart, sat at his writing desk over-looking the backyard sipping cold chocolate milk and writing his Gunnery Sergeant a long over-due letter. A cool breeze blew into the open windows from the West.

          Bert's townhouse faced a large green lawn in the back and an even more gorgeously green golf course in the front. Tall trees stood guard.

          Bert hummed along to "Imagine" by John Lennon. He pondered the last thing the Gunny had said to him, "Anything you allow in your life will continue."

         As the song concluded he sang, "…And the World will live as One…"

         Bert smiled at the thought... and then the hairs on his neck stood up

        Slowly, Bert turned off his stereo. The night was silent; even the night birds were quiet.

        Bert inhaled long and fully. He turned off the night light and allowed his eyes to adjust. Lying prone on every surrounding rooftop were snipers, aiming their weapons at his desk.

       He lowered himself to floor level. "This is a mistake! There is no way the Feds could be hunting me."

        Bert crept up the side of a window and peering, saw snipers in the trees and bushes. "Aw Geez this is big. Got to be 'Jade Helm'. Why here, why me?"

       Bert found his wallet and slipped out his military ID. He whispered in a semi-loud voice, "Do not shoot! I work for your Uncle! I am pushing my ID out the window, and I want to speak to your CO, Now!"

       A shadow picked up the ID. Minutes later, a voice below the window asked, "Who was General Chapman?

      Bert whispered, "Commandant." 

      The shadow said, "Open the front door."

      Bert invited the face-painted Lt. Col. inside. He was young. With an apologetic look, the warrior handed Ben back his ID.

       Bert asked, "What is going on here?"

      "Sir, we have Hajji here, creating terrorist cells."

      "And it takes 400 men to do the job '1 man' could accomplish?"

      "We are clearing the area now."

       "I've been here 7 months. You missed your terrorist-cell creator by a long-shot."

       "Yes Sir. The Colonel will be here shortly."

       "No. We shall go to him."

       "Her, Sir."

         The desert smelled alive; so many crushed blossoms. The two men walked out the back door. The roof-tops were empty. The bushes and trees were empty. And hidden behind the Oleander bushes, a fit woman was peering over a map laid out on the hood of a black sport's car. She looked up and said, "This never happened."

       Bert studied her face and said, "The Green Berets have not done their Due-Diligence."

       The Colonel said, "You are dismissed."

       Bert said, "Reality check."

     The Colonel looked up, " Reality check? We just moved 400 men in and out of Scottsdale and no one knows we were here. Except you, Recon. You know the drill. Go home Bert, this never happened. "