"New Year, New You" until...

First of all, Happy New Year! 

Secondly, rather than the cliché “goal setting and new habits” discussion ever- present in January newsletters, I want to fast forward to the moment we all face in that process: the setback. 

I have worked with enough people to know that kicking off goals is relatively easy - usually we have plenty of energy, focus, and motivation at the start. But, no matter who we are, or how prepared we may feel, setbacks are a real issue…and not having a plan to manage them can quickly derail any progress we make. So this month, I want to address how to manage setbacks…before you start to face them.

So, here are three thoughts I want you to consider before you kick off any goal:

1. Anchor in the why.

No matter the goal, we have to keep our sights on the main event: our why. As the late and wonderful Viktor Frankl once said, when we have a “why," we can manage any “how.” Having a clear sense of meaning in our lives and clarity in our values and beliefs helps us navigate the many setbacks, detours, and close-calls that come our way on our journey. Take a few minutes to anchor your goal in something bigger: why is it important? How does it help you move forward with purpose in life? 

2. Rehearse for the setbacks.

My incredibly wise and kind friend and fellow performance coach, Jill Sharp, and I were brainstorming recently on what we would call the process we put our clients through when it comes to managing setbacks, and we came up with the word “rehearse.” It's the perfect word because that's exactly what it is: identify any potential barriers or setbacks and then practicing over and over again how we'd move through them. 

World renown human performance expert and exercise physiologist Jack Groppel, PhD, FACSM, FACN recently shared some advice with me and some colleagues on navigating the storms of our life: he said that the storms will always come, but the story we tell ourselves about those storms and how we train for them play a major role in our ability to navigate them. So, when I'm working with clients, we quite literally rehearse what could go wrong and how we'd manage it. The more we train, the more likely we fall back on our training when the “storm” comes - and, like Jack says - the storm will come, so, we need to be prepared for it. 

(Sidenote: I have a theory. I think this is why native Floridians are so laissez faire when it comes to hurricanes--we get so many dress rehearsals during hurricane season with smaller tropical storms and close calls, it's like riding a bike when the big storms come…it's also why you see longer lines at the ABC liquor than the Lowe's in my neighborhood...hurricane parties are a real thing!).

3. Enjoy the detours.

I'm going to share with you some of the best advice I have ever (and I mean ever) received. This advice actually came from a client, Dave, whom I was training to prepare for his first Ironman race. I was a personal trainer at the time and Dave was a client but also my pastor; he's an incredibly wise, kind, humble human…and a heck of a fast runner. He had set a goal to finish his Ironman in under six hours. Anyway - Dave faced a major setback about halfway through his training when he injured his knee on a training run. I could tell he was disappointed when he shared the news with me in the gym one morning. We calculated how much this might set him back in his training and discussed how to integrate his physical therapy into our routine. During our conversation, I paused to ask him if he was okay - personally, there are few things that scare me more than a sports injury. He leaned casually against the treadmill he was banned from using for 6 weeks, looking down at his swollen, wrapped up knee with a surprisingly calm energy about him, and replied with a perspective that has stayed with me ever since. He said, “I'm disappointed, but I guess I'll just have to enjoy the detour as much as the route.”

This small piece of advice, I felt to my core. Dave wasn't referring to his knee as much as how approaches anything in life: there is something to be learned and gained from the detours as much as the plans we lay for ourselves. His full trust in that truth was inspiring, and continues to inspire me today. And it's grounded in science Carol Dweck , author of Mindset, would likely call this a growth mindset - and it has a positive impact on our resilience, how we manage stress and setbacks, our relationships, our productivity, even our longevity of life. Simply asking yourself: What can I learn from this experience? How can I grow stronger? How can I remember that this is a detour, and temporary? helps tear down the barriers of limited thinking and perspective. Such incredible advice - I'll always be indebted to Pastor Dave for his wisdom. Oh, and he spent the next several weeks “running” in the pool and absolutely killed his Ironman…such an incredible athlete and human.

Having a clear goal is great, and having a plan to get there is even better. But preparing for the inevitable storms along the way is mission critical. So remember: (1) Anchor in your why; (2) Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse; and (3) Enjoy the detours as much as the route. If you do so, the journey will teach you as much about yourself as the destination.

Next month I'll be returning to the Stress Personalities and sharing some thoughts on how to navigate them as a leader. Until then...best of luck on the goals you've set!

- Lauren