Nine Mindful Tips for Every Parent Sending Their Children to School

Anxiety over the first day of school starts at the end of July. Stores start showing backpacks and school supplies. You're hoping your child gets the right teacher you want. There is no shortage of stress over whether or not they'll have friends in their homeroom, if they'll get played on their sports teams and what is the cool garment everyone will have this year.

As parents, we are the ones that model how to handle the transition from summer fun to the school daze. Keep in mind - a month into it, all of this is behind you. Until then, here are some mindful tips to help prepare your children and yourself for the start of the school year.

1. You’ve been through lots of ‘firsts’ in your life - first day of school, first move, first apartment, first marriage, first job, etc. You’ll get through this too.
2. Other kids have their insecurities just like your children. Some cover those with bullying. Hold space each day to talk with your children about their feelings and concerns. a "Today's Feelings Check-in" can happen at dinner or before homework. Most anxiety is over the social issues of fitting in. (Yes, it starts early. They’re more like us than we think.)
3. Help your child identify a buddy. One really true friend is more valuable than a dozen fast lane strivers. Invite the good friend over. How do you know if they’re a good friend? They likely are not popular or cool and they really like your child just as they are. If you see them laughing together it’s a really good sign.
4. Stop comparing. If your child tells you about another child’s backpack, jacket or shoes, acknowledge what you were told and that they may want something but, what they have is working just fine for now. If they’re old enough, you may have small jobs they can do to earn what they want. Then ask what went well today. The shift will help them move on too. Notice when you compare because they are watching you.
5. Watch The Social Dilemma. Listen to the original creators of social media platforms tell you how they don’t let their own children use social media until age 13. Why? Because comparing is addictive, and they have programmed the social media platforms to build that addiction.
6. Teach your children self-care - little calming practices to help them feel better when they’re worried. Think flowers and bubbles. Breathe is slowly and smell the flowers. Breath out slowly and blow bubbles.
7. Draw boundaries. Boundaries are invisible lines between what you will and will not allow. Your children should know where those lines stand with you. I was a single mom and only provider for four children, one with a disability and held a 50 hour a week job to support them. Your job is taxing enough. You need not do somebody else's too. There is a difference between practicing and having no knowledge. If one of my children came home without knowing how to do their homework, I sent the paper back undone with a note on it that read, "She doesn't understand how to do this." She never came home again, not knowing how to do her homework.
8. Don't tie your identity to "Parent" or anything else. Titles and roles come and go. Flow with them. You are far more than one thing. Remember what you're good at and fund a place where that brings value.
9. Sit on your porch and watch the sunset together. Summer is not quite over The pretty pink skies of late summer hold a lot of moments for reflection on the person you want to be by design, values and purpose, not default, competition and judgment. You’re awesome! And so are your children.

I will forever remember how I felt this first day of school for my youngest child. That was the last of those firsts. I couldn’t wait to see them all get off the bus that day. I was holding back tears and swallowing hard. It still warms my heart to think about it. The only one who was truly happy that day was my youngest. He held the innocence long since lost on his siblings. We went to the pool for an hour after this photo to remember that transitions don't have to be abrupt. We can ease into them. Everyone was a little happier before we ate dinner that night. Then autumn ushered in basketball, new friends, and homework. And that became fun too. Except for the homework. I was out after fifth grade math.

Leave room for the fun. It is coming.

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Mary Lee Gannon, ACC, CAE is an executive coach and 19-year corporate CEO who went from welfare to CEO of a $33 million organization. She helps leaders be respected, advance at the executive level with greater flexibility, and prioritize well-being without being so overworked they don't connect with the people who matter. Get her free career advancement publications at www.MaryLeeGannon.com