Nobody Else is Coming

What do you do when nobody's coming?

I’m currently in DC trying to formally assemble Taskforce Pineapple in a way that can make a difference in this negligent Afghanistan withdrawal. I can see the Washington Monument in the distance. As a young man I was enamored with it. I’m looking at it now, but not with the same awe that I did when I was a young lieutenant in the Army in 1991.

When I retired from the army, it seemed there was an absence of leadership at all levels in society. I've come to believe that nobody else is coming to fix this. If they do, they're only doing it to advance their agenda.

With the Afghanistan withdrawal, the political and senior military leadership made an irresponsible decision to give back air bases and other key terrain that we could have held until the end. One by one, provinces fell and as many as 50,000 people, including our own citizens, were trapped. We abandoned them while the world and our children watched.

A group of veterans and civilians looked at this situation and said, “Nobody's coming. No one is going to step up and do what needs to be done. I'll do it.” They didn't ask for permission; they simply took action.

The government is not going to honor the promise. Veterans are not good with that. They see that nobody's coming, they step into the breach, and they lead. They don't surrender their agency to the so-called person in charge.

For most of our lives, we’ve surrendered agency to the person who “knows what they're doing.” But what if we've been conditioned to give our agency to leaders who are not qualified to lead?

We are approaching a time where we must take leadership back. We must assert ourselves even if we feel intimidated. I feel it right now. How am I going to bring these folks together in a way that can fill the gap that the government won’t? These politicians have become obsessed with what they have, and what they'll lose. They've lost their way.

We don't have to rely on leaders. We have more capacity to lead than we give ourselves credit for. A lot of the leaders would have you believe that you need them to feed your family, have a job, and be happy. But happiness is found, according to Robert Putnam, not through material gain or advancement in one's career, but through the relationships. At the end of your life, what will you be reflecting about? Promotions, material gain, or your relationships?

What are we going to do with the time we have? We have to make that choice. We have to dismiss this notion that we are obligated to give our agency away to unqualified leaders.

I think about that Lieutenant Colonel Marine who lost his Marines in Afghanistan at the gate. He shot a video demanding accountability from the leaders all the way up to the commander in chief. He was willing to resign over it and give up his command. What he said stuck with me. He said, and I'm paraphrasing, if you're not willing to risk everything, then you're not in charge.

As you look around your landscape today, how many leaders are willing to risk it all? How many are willing to risk their status and position in life? If you're a parent, how much are you willing to risk for them and their future? A lot more, right? Then why would you put your agency in the hands of leaders who are not willing to risk a fraction?

Whether you're a stay-at-home parent, own a business, or you're a corporate team member, the stakes are high. If we continue to give our agency away to leaders who are not invested, we will keep fighting each other over politicians who have no investment in us. They have demonstrated no risk, but we will kill each other over them.

We have slipped into a trance-like state of tribalism because of “leaders”. That’s not the way we're wired to be. That's why reciprocity and empathy are so powerful, but we need leaders who accept that and put connection above all else.

Relevance to people's goals and relatability to their pain is the most powerful thing we can do as leaders. If we simply strive for that, regardless of the scope or context, we're going to find ourselves in a position where people look at us for a path forward because nobody else is coming.

This is our opportunity. It's going to take one person at a time, but we can do it. Put relationships before transactions and remember that nobody's coming. It's just you and me, but I'll take those odds all day long.