Non-violence is the best expression of humanity

I learnt through my own experiences that non-violence is the best expression of humanity. At several times before these experiences, I thought non-violent resistance is a wimpiest response to an aggression and would not be effective in 21st century. How can you fight a bully without yourself becoming a thug in the process was the nagging question? I learnt through below experiences that non-violent resistance in most cases is the only response possible and is effective in situations ranging from individual conflicts to conflict between nations or communities.

1. Blood Donation: In June 2005, I got a call from one of my close friends with a request to donate my blood for his grand father who was not keeping well. I agreed immediately and went to Sagar Apollo hospital in Bangalore to donate my blood. After reaching hospital I realized that my blood group is not the only reason for my friend to ask for my blood donation. My friend's grand father wanted blood from the same caste and my friend sought help from me since I am from the same caste. My immediate instinct was to express outrage and rush out of the hospital. It then occurred to me that a human's life is at stake. Finally the course I took is to donate the blood and help the family. I then expressed my disappointment and asked my friend to never to call me again. I refused all the tokens of appreciation from my friend's family and haven't spoken to him since then. I felt at that time that was the only way forward. You have to choose a path which shows your disagreement for the bigotry but not punish them for the weaknesses we all posses.
2. Child adoption: One of the responsibilities of running a children home is to engage with several hopeful parents who visit Shishu Mandir for adoption. Most Children homes in India have girl children since they are abandoned the most and are least preferred for adoption. Over the years, I must have met atleast 50 couples who were looking to welcome a child to their home. Some of the most poignant moments in my life are when couples ask only for a boy child. There are several times I felt that no child should be given to the couples who ask only for a boy child. But that would be wrong since what wrong a boy child has done not to deserve parents. Thrusting a girl child to reluctant parents is also wrong since that has consequences for the girl child as she enters a new family. Only option left is to process the adoption but express outrage at such open bigotry and appeal to their good nature .

These experiences left me thinking what options really one has to fight bigotry from your friends and loved ones except to find instruments to prick their guilt conscience. I always wondered about the options a mother has if her child gets into crime. Only real path forward for mother is to support the child through the jail time and punish herself by fasting to show the child how his ways are causing pain for her and hope and pray that child changes for better. Mother neither can abandon the child nor support criminality. Mother has to necessarily choose non-violent options. Humanity is to expand the same motherly love to different communities and fellow humans at large. Hence non-violence is best expression of humanity since non-violence is what one would do if he or she truly loves the adversary as much as their own family. If you think deeply about this, one would come to conclusion that non-violence is the only real humane option. Best way to see if a non-violent option is exercised is to observe if it is mitigating or provoking the worst instincts in others.

Non-violence works like magic even in extreme violent situations. Read the story of Lt. Colonel Chris Hughes who won the battle without firing a shot. Story of Antoinette Tuff who saved school children from gun violence is another inspirational story. Paul Nagler's video series probably best explains non-violent options. I had a chance to look at videos five years back. I guess it is needless to repeat what Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr, Mandela etc achieved with non-violent options. Mandela especially is an interesting story since Mandela initially started as somebody who was not averse to violence. Mandela's thinking evolved with time and finally culminated in non-violent means to end apartheid.

One of the questions often posed to me is if non-violence works with somebody like Hitler. Non-violence worked when it was exercised in second world war. I recounted the story on women at Rosenstrasse protest here. I consider the protest as the bravest act ever.

Would non-violent techniques work in an Organization setting? In my own experience, calling out somebody's mistake in organization hardly works. Instead, asking searching questions to help a person discover his or her mistake is probably the most effective. I had a chance to talk about applying non-violent principles in organization here. Please do take a look when you get a chance.