An Ode to Pain

It was morning and I could listen to the chirping and twittering notes of birds in flight and the sun was rising behind the giant hills, its hands were slowly chasing away the still lingering night. It was pleasant and somewhere in the deep woods a brook was flowing fast and swift.

The whole of the woods was silent except for the sounding cataract, glittering diamonds as they bounded over rocks and bushes. I reclined against a tree and looked at the sky.

I could hear my friend calling me softly from somewhere out of the deep and wildly growing bushes.

I walked into the cold water and sat on a rock in the midst of waters flowing by. It was cool to my touch too. I closed my eyes and listened to the water chuckling. The grass bent. It was winter at its peak. The mist was hanging low in the distance and the wind gently blew. It had a soothing effect.

I closed my eyes and reflected. I was sure I could listen to someone walking on the leaves. I could listen to the whisper of the wind amongst the leaves. As the leaves gently rolled, I saw her in the distance. Walking on the patch of green grass now.

Her face was all aglow. Wearing a blue dress, she sashayed and smiled. The wind lifted her hairs gently and fell on her face. Her smile was beatific. As she neared, I heard her laughter. I smelt the air. It was as if though a perfume was sprinkled. Is it hers I was not sure?

As she sat next to me , I could see that her eyes were brown, and she said, your eyes are half blue. There was silence. There were only the birds in flight making a V shape in the sky as they flew home. Bees sang.

She sat down and gazed deep into the blue waters. I felt her happiness, flowing like a river seeking gravity. Silence stretched. We both heard leaves falling. A rock fell nearby. Made a splash. Clouds were gathering again. Deep and black. Waiting to burst in a wondrous glory. Everything became quiet. I was like a restless leaf waiting for the wind to blow me away. Clinging lightly to the stem. We sat there. Not talking. Our hearts were seeking out each other.

I smiled and said let us walk. Hit the trail together. We spoke nothing. We just walked on. A cow mooed in the distance. The smell of hay was strong. I asked her what we do now? She laughed.

She is an elusive girl and like a flower in full bloom. Yet so near yet so far. She appears and disappears. Smooth and tough. Sweet and sour. Like fire and like an oasis in the desert. Smoothness of sand and rugged beautiful mountains. Eagle in the sky and a sparrow in the trees.

There were times when we would ride together. Peals of laughter would echo in my ears. We would stop and walk hand in hand. She would not say anything either. Even the thought of her not being with me was like a sledgehammer hitting me in my belly, and I would go breathless.

I was in a search of a soul mate. Listen to the music together. Our thoughts must speak the ancient language of love. No introductions.

She walked over to my place once when I was home. Nestled amongst the trees, it was a canopy of blooming flowers, heady aroma, and bright colors. She asked me what if we are not together, but then her breath caught too in her throat. A fleeting pain I guessed. Seeking an emotional anchor.

The jagged lightening lit up the sky. There was a hint of rain. As we walked down the road, the rain fell in big drops , I was stunned to see her tears got washed away in the rain.

Now she is no more with me and gone forever, I do not know whether we would ever meet again, but then I hope that we would. What if she were to appear out of the blue, will I choke and become silent again. Will I be just scared to meet her? Doubts shall assail me for sure.

Maybe as the future unfolds as a silent paper being turned in a great book, I shall muster all the courage and walk the path again, in search of vague memories that would give definitions to my thoughts, the rugged granite rocks, the giant trees, the green trails and the soul mate who is part of me and the nature around.

I am sure I shall for sure.