One Civil Conversation - From Beyond The Grave!!!???

On 2/18/11, I returned to my office after a meeting to discover that I’d been killed on LinkedIn.

Now, you might be thinking that I’m talking about my LinkedIn account being deactivated for some reason. Nope, my account was just fine, but my feed was flooded with dozens of posts, comments, and “likes” (which is weird in retrospect) featuring words of praise for the seemingly recently deceased me, and sincere words of condolence for my wife and young children.

You see, right before the meeting referenced above, I’d been on LinkedIn. There, I’d seen that another guy in the People/Talent space (who was also called Peter and who also had an Irish last name) had passed away. His wife had sent through an update on Peter’s account to let his network know the sad news. I added my condolences to her post on LinkedIn - and, little did I know, that’s what sowed the seed of what was soon to come. 

Younger readers may not recall the evolution of the LinkedIn UI but, back in the day, a commenter’s headshot used to show up quite a bit larger than it does today, pretty much on par with that of the original poster. So, when this Irish Peter contributed to the conversation about the other Irish Peter, one very well networked friend of mine saw my face amid the condolences and jumped to the wrong conclusion. 

My friend shall remain nameless, as surely this wasn’t a case of premeditated network murder, the worst a jury might find would be involuntary network manslaughter. When this friend added their condolences - things snowballed FAST! Another well networked mutual friend shared their shock “as he'd seemed so full of life when he bounced up onto a speaker stage just a few months ago” to their network of thousands. Things took on a life of their own from that point!

It was actually quite affirming to see all the kind comments - a bit like attending one's own funeral! But I was shocked to:

(1) have died in the eyes of a good chunk of my network, and

(2) to be "stealing the thunder" of the other Peter who should be the one being honored.

So, I had to quickly chime in on LinkedIn, singing the other Peter's praises once more - and, in so doing, showing that the rumors of my death were greatly exaggerated. And I sent several direct messages to my most vocal mourners letting them know that I was fine.

Now, fast-forward to 2024, and I asked my “unwitting executioner” for an introduction to their former colleague, Johnny C. Taylor, Jr., SHRM-SCP , as I thought I might add one Civil (and funny) Conversation to SHRM ’s “1 Million Civil Conversations" initiative in my capacity as HR’s HumoRist. #CivilityAtWork

The theory was that, after declaring me dead to thousands of people, quite the networking setback, one introduction to one high profile person could rebalance the karmic ledger. 

Alas, he wasn’t comfortable making the introduction. Hmmm, now that I think about it, maybe killing me off wasn’t an accident after all??? I’m only joking of course. Life’s too short to foster ill will - I should know! (We’re cool, Buddy! You provided me with a rare story!)

Anyway, Johnny, I’m alive and well and would love to chat! No ouija board required!

Peter Phelan, a Chief People Officer turned Culture Doctor, is Founder and CEO of ValuesCulture. ValuesCulture has placed >100 stellar People & Talent leaders, helps growing companies with organizational culture strategy, and is on a mission to debunk the myth that "HR = Fun Police" for once and for all!