An Orange Tree In My Belly

It began with a simple, cautionary comment every time an apple or an orange was handed to Angus, “don’t swallow the pips or an Orange Tree will grow in your belly!” This comment was followed by a chuckle and a shake of the head. What did that mean, Angus thought. The chuckle, the shake of the head? Could it happen that an Orange Tree or an apple tree grows in your belly if you swallow one of the pips?  He thought about this for a while and then a little longer and then some more. Something had grown in Grandma, he remembered and she died. Gramps had died shortly after, his mum said, of a broken heart! 

His Mum and Dad said all sorts of things can happen. Like if you pull and face and the wind changes your face will stay… well, pulled. If you break a mirror it will bring you seven years of bad luck or walking on the cracks in the pavement will also bring you bad luck and the correct way to greet a magpie or you’ll get bad luck! So many things that can bring you bad luck!  

When Grandma went to a better place everyone was very sad and that didn’t make much sense. If she’s gone to a better place why would we be sad? Angus didn’t really know what that meant. Then when Gramps died, his Uncle Geoff said it was like it said in some poem, Gramps had gone to another room. Then everyone said that he and Grandma would be together again and they’d be laughing and bickering about all the stuff they used to laugh and bicker about. 

But everyone was so sad and when Angus asked if he could visit them and he’d like to go to this better place in the other room couldn’t he just go there? When he said that to his Mum, she said “don’t be silly, silly. You just can’t,  but that maybe one day he’d see them again. For ages his Mum cried a lot and Dad just didn’t say anything really.

Then it happened, it was supposed to be seedless, that small citrus fruit. That small easy peel- mandarin. It was supposed to be seedless! He was hungry and his mouth was dry and he was busy thinking about playing with his friends. He wasn’t paying attention, he just wanted to eat the fruit and get on with other things. He felt it too late as he swallowed a segment of the mandarin, it was there. A little hard lump hidden in the pulp of the sweet juicy flesh of the fruit. A tiny pip of doom that needed to be avoided, spat out and disposed of with the rest of the inedible remains of the fruit, the bitter rind and stringy pith. OK, it wasn’t an orange but it was very similar! And he hadn’t avoided the pip, he’d swallowed it and he knew what would happen next.

He told his Man straight away. “Oooooo” said his Mam, “You’ll have an Orange tree growing in your belly soon. It will save us a fortune in fruit, we’ll be able to pick them fresh from the branch, fresh from you! Your dad will be thrilled” That was it, she went back to putting the shopping away.

He went to his dad and told his Dad, that he’s swallowed a pip. Dad, said “That’s not good!, You’d best tell your Mam” then turned back to his computer and got back on with his work.

He went to his brother and told his brother, his brother pulled a face and said, “Go away, I’m busy, you Doyle!” and shut his bedroom door. 

He went to his sister, she didn’t even speak to him. She just looked at him like she was angry, she always looked angry! She then turned around and walked away, shaking her head.

No one was interested. But he knew what he’d done and he knew that the pip would begin to grow into a tree, everyone said that that would happen, everyone knew that would happen. 

He spent ages walking around, doing star jumps and going to the loo, maybe he could stop the pip from taking root and starting to grow in his belly. No luck, perhaps he shouldn’t have walked on the cracks in the pavement, perhaps he’d missed a magpie and not said hello or good morning or whatever you were meant to do with magpies!

Angus did his best to stop thinking about the pip and what had happened. He tried to think of something else. He thought about school and then he remembered there was a spelling test next week and he was rubbish at spelling and then his tummy grumbled. That would be the pip starting to sprout and the tree beginning to grow! He thought about his friend, Alice, it was her birthday soon and she was having a party but he hadn’t had an invite to it yet. Perhaps she’d forgotten him? His belly rumbled again, it was like Mum said, he had butterflies in his tummy so now he had butterflies and an orange tree inside him. This day was just getting worse!

He was starting to get a headache, he felt tingly and tight and not sure what was happening and wanted to run about and he felt like he wanted to cry! Angus didn’t run about and he didn’t cry, Mum seemed to get upset and Dad would get angry if he did and his brother would just laugh at him.

So Angus did nothing other than think and think and think but nothing happened, he had no idea what to do.

Just after tea, the football was on telly and everyone liked the football so they’d all sit and watch the game. Dad was funny, he’d pretend to be one of the commentators and say funny things about the game. Mum said if he was as quick on his feet as he was with his comments, he’d be a star footballer and we’d all live in a massive house and she would need to work at the corner shop.  Angus wondered if he could become a footballer and Mum could stop working?  Or maybe a singer or a painter or Prime Minister as Dad said they all get paid a fortune and most of them were terrible at singing, painting or being Prime Minister and pretty much anyone could do what they do! Susan said she was going to be a veterinarian and Paul said he was going to be a racing driver or a mechanic for one of the formula one teams and fly around the world. Susan said he couldn't even change his socks so how could he change the wheel of one of them cars? Everyone was laughing and whilst all that was going on, Angus hadn’t thought of the pip once. 

Then he went to bed…

Mum kissed him goodnight and said, as she did every night, “Sleep tight, mind the bed bugs don’t bite! If they do, nip them tight. Night, night”. At first Angus had checked for bed bugs as he didn’t like the idea of bugs crawling on him and he certainly didn’t like the idea of them biting him and being eaten by them!

Then he remembered the pip and the orange tree and suddenly his belly felt bad and he was sure he could feel it growing and getting bigger. He felt sick and his mouth was dry and his legs felt weird and he felt wide awake. It was growing and he could feel it, just like something had grown in Grandma. He tried to get to sleep, turning this way and then that way. His head was full of thoughts racing round like one of Paul’s racing cars. He felt hot and it was so dark! He got up and put his light on and sat back on the bed and started to cry.

“Hey, hey what’s happening?” said his Mum sitting down on his bed. Angus could say anything at first and then everything came out in flood of sobs, “I don’t know, I can’t stop thinking about a tree growing inside me, just like Grandma and what happened to Gramps and I just worry all the time about everything and somethings going to happen to you or dad or Paul or Susan! And everyone is going to go away to that better place and I’m going to be all alone and frightened and sad and I can’t get to where you all are and…and… and, I don’t know… I miss Gramps and Grandma”

His mum looked at Angus, and stroked his hair and face, “I do too Angus, we’ll be alright we’re just all feeling sad at the moment and you know what? That’s OK. Let’s go back downstairs for a while and I’ll make some hot chocolate”

Angus followed his mum and they went in the front room, his eyes were red and he still felt terrible. His Dad looked over and smiled and then on the couch Susan and Paul shifted and made a space for him between them. He sat down and Susan’s arm encircled him and hugged him. Paul looked at him and smiled. He then nipped his leg and said “do you remember that time at Grandma’s when Gramps was a sleep in the chair and Mum put lipstick and blusher on him?” Everyone laughed and started talking about fun they had had together”

Mum came in with a tray of hot chocolate for everyone; as she gave Angus his drink she smiled, gave him a kiss on the cheek and whispered I forgot to tell you, “hot chocolate, a hug and chat are the things that stop orange trees growing in your belly”.