Out of sight, out of mind

What is it?

Almost a decade ago, David Rock from the Neuroleadership institute coined a term called distance bias, which describes our tendency to attach disproportionate high importance to people, things and event that are closer to us than those who are more distant.

Before the pandemic this may not have been so clear to everyone, but since we all felt the impact of isolation and home office, the effect is now obvious. And the question is: what can we do about it? We come to this in a minute.

Speaking of "in a minute" - another example of the distance bias is temporal: we have a much greater affinity for quick wins in the near future than for possibly much larger gains on the longer run. There's a pretty awful term for this: hyperbolic discounting, also known as presence bias. I’m sure many of us remember the famous marshmallow test, where kids were asked to resist the pleasure of eating a marshmallow right away with the promised reward to get two of them if they waited for a few minutes or so. Older game show like videos of little boys and girls trying to fight the temptation are still funny to watch, but from today's perspective also a bit embarrassing, as the children were often paraded and made ridiculous.

But back to the spatial aspect of the distance bias. And the question, where it comes from. Or, even more important: how we can fight it.

Why does it happen?

I believe that the distance bias in its spatial version has a lot in common with the mere exposure effect (see also my newsletter #32 “The more often the better”). In search for security and stability, our brain prefers known things over unknown. And things or people that are closer to us with respect to spatial distance tend to be simply more often in contact with us. The word “closer” also reveals something else, perhaps more important. When we say that someone is close to us, we often don’t mean a short distance in meters. We usually express a feeling, how much we think like them, how much we act like them, how much we like them. There is even a therapeutic method, called Systemic Constellations (often used in the context of family problems) where relationships are visualized by putting people in spatial distance to each other. It seems that our brain uses this “distance analogy” also for the representation of emotional closeness. In this context the idiom “out of sight, out of mind” can also be read the other way round. People that we perceive as being far away can get “out of sight” over time. We tend to overlook them.

How can we avoid it?

The recipes against the bias sound a bit like best practice guidelines for hybrid working: Form your relationships equally with your co-located and remote direct reports. Regularly hold virtual coffee chats with your remote colleagues to build a personal connection. When considering promotions, salary increases or simply project or task assignments, force yourself to consider all your direct reports. When creating lists, start with the most remote ones. Insist on running meetings virtually (via video conferencing software) if at least one person is remote. Use virtual whiteboarding software for brainstorming so that everyone can contribute. Make sure that all social activities involve all sites and team members. And so on. The basic idea behind these rules of engagement is to flatten out the differences between remote and local and by doing so to mentally “delete” the distances.

Time will show if this really works. For me it’s more important to be aware of the problem and why I need to change my behavior and how I can do this best, than to bluntly follow a new business etiquette that tells me what I should or should not do.

What’s your thinking around that?

Does this sound familiar to you? Any own experiences or stories you would like to share? Please start a conversation in the comments section!

#decisionmaking #bias