Be An Overcomer

Today we will talk about overcoming adversity, problems, setbacks, and unexpected events like the pandemic that we just went through.

Adversity can leave us feeling overwhelmed and out of control, making it easy to get pulled into the fear and drama of these types of events. We may start to believe that our life is out of our control and that something outside of us is the thing that will determine our happiness and success.

However, the reality is very different from what it seems. With every adversity comes equal or greater opportunity. Overcoming adversity is a critical skill to learn in this life because the nature of life itself is to test us, have us discover a better version of ourselves, and then to learn to rise above the adversity to something better than we ever imagined.

If you want to become super adept at overcoming adversity, you have to understand that it's essential not to see what's in front of you at the moment as evidence of your future. It's only the evidence of your past that you're seeing right now.

I know this first hand through my own adversity experiences through the school of hard knocks, which is the education none of us can avoid in this life, right?

I was one of those kids who found high school to be easy and kind of boring, so I decided to accelerate my curriculum and graduated at age 16. I then married my boyfriend, who was five years older than I. Not a great life plan as it turns out. Two and a half years later, I found myself divorced with a baby on my hip in a new city, no family, no friends, no job, and no clue what I was going to do to survive.

I was in deep, so I did the only thing I could think of, which was to apply for food stamps. I'll never forget that day when I was standing there at the grocery counter ready to check out and turn my food stamps over for diapers and food. Standing there with several people lined up behind me, I suddenly had an epiphany. Suddenly, for me, it was like time slowed down, and I felt like I was sort of standing in a spotlight, and a question dropped into my mind. The first question was, "How did you get here?" followed by a second question that was, "Are you doing everything you can to get out of this situation, or are you taking the easy way out?"

The second that second question that came to my mind, I already knew the answer. It was literally my moment of truth. I knew I wasn't doing the best that I could in my heart. I knew that I wasn't tapping into my own best resources, even though I honestly had no idea what those might be. But that second, as I turned the food stamps over to the cashier, I was already saying to myself, "This will not be my future," and suddenly I felt such intense conviction inside that, thinking back, the look on my face was probably a little fierce to the cashier.

I remember going back to my little apartment, where I was getting eviction notices every single month. I sat down with myself and knew I didn't have any answers, but I did have questions, so I just started asking.

How can I make money tomorrow? Who would hire me? What skills do I have that are useful?

Suddenly, as I was sitting there asking, I remembered hearing a radio ad about Kelly Services temporary service agency. I called them and asked how I could join. The idea was you could get work the next day. They told me to fill out an application, list my qualifications, and that they would match them up to jobs that became available. Fortunately, I had worked at my dad's law offices in high school, and I had worked at a popular clothing store in my hometown. I had started working at age 14 at Taco Time. I had to say I was 15 on the application to get that job, but anyway, the temp service agency started sending me jobs, and I started filling in law offices and working sales at conventions and setting up booths at malls and all kinds of interesting things. The assignments would last several weeks or several days. Sometimes I was lucky enough to work with the principals of the companies, trying to sort of understand what it was like to be them. I started learning something about myself. I learned that I really like business and especially like sales, and I loved working with people.

At that point, I decided to put myself through real estate school, and I became a licensed realtor. In the meantime, through all of this, someone had approached me and asked, "You know, why don't you do some modeling?" So I thought, "Why not?" I went to the biggest modeling agency in our city and asked them if they would sign me as a model. Fortunately, after stumbling through some reading lines and walking the runway for the director, they said yes, and I was thrilled. I ended up luckily getting some television commercials, and the commercials ended up going national. So literally, a little more than a year and a half later after that moment where I'd been standing at the grocery counter ready to turn over my food stamps, I'm now working for the biggest real estate home builder in our valley. I'm a licensed realtor, and I became the number one realtor in my company, and right about that time, my television commercials started bringing enough income in that I joined Screen Actors Guild, which gave me the best health insurance benefits you could get for my little son and me.

I can't tell you how many times I've thought back on that epiphany moment at the grocery store, just how easy it would have been for me to just keep slipping into my victimhood. I had every excuse. I was young. I had no help. But I'm just so thankful for that question that came to my mind and changed absolutely everything. Am I doing everything I can, or am I taking the easy way out? And even probably more importantly, I'm so thankful that I had the courage to answer it honestly and not run away from the question. There was something so much better than this, and I kept asking the questions and following the answers until question by question, answer by answer, idea by idea, a better path kept unfolding for me, and I kept following it one step at a time, one commitment to myself at a time. So I ask you, are you doing your best with all the opportunities and talents you have to move your life forward?

If you want to know what the 21 MOST important questions to ask to attract money and happiness, click here.