Overcoming Fear of Judgement: Secrets from Philosophy, Psychology, and Silly Geese

Why So Serious?

Alright, let’s get real—life can sometimes feel like a never-ending game of dodgeball, and we’re all just trying not to get nailed in the face.

We’ve all been there, stressing over every little thing, convinced that if we mess up, everyone will notice and judge us forever.

But here’s the thing: that’s not true.

Why do we feel this way? Blame it on our “Social Survival Mammoth.”

As Tim Urban explains, we evolved in small tribes where social approval was crucial for survival. Back then, if you messed up, it could mean getting kicked out of the tribe—which was pretty much a death sentence.

So, our brains developed this little voice that constantly worries about what others think, just to keep us safe. But today, that same instinct makes us take ourselves way too seriously.

It’s just the spotlight effect bias messing with our heads.

This sneaky little bias makes us think everyone’s paying attention to our every move.

Spoiler: they're not.

Behavioral psychologists like Thomas Gilovich will tell you people are too busy worrying about themselves to focus on your awkward moment.

So, when we trip over our own feet, say the dumb thing, or spill coffee on our crotch, most people won’t even notice—and if they do, they’ll forget as soon as their own lives reclaim their focus.

So, why do we take ourselves so seriously? And how can we break free from that mindset?

The Philosophy of Letting Go:

Existentialists like Jean-Paul Sartre and Albert Camus remind us that life is absurd—trying to control everything is like trying to herd cats.

They’d tell you to relax, grab a glass of red (and maybe an especially pompous French cigarette), light up outside a café on a quaint Parisian boulevard, and enjoy the ride because, with a thick French accent "*bleep* it" 🤷

By acknowledging the absurdity of life but choosing to embrace it anyway, you can detach from the seriousness of your fears and act anyway.

Meanwhile, Buddhism and Zen Buddhism have been saying this for centuries: our attachment to ego and preserving a certain standard for our sense of self only increases suffering.

The Buddha’s main point? "Attachment is the root of suffering." Translation: Let go of that image of perfection and embrace our inner hot mess.

Life’s gonna be messy, so we might as well laugh through it. The moment we do, everything feels lighter—and suddenly, that spilled coffee is just an excuse to buy new pants or rock a neo-abstract coffee-stained fashion statement.

How We Can All Lighten Up:

1. Ego is the Enemy

Stoics believe that many of our fears and anxieties stem from an exaggerated sense of self-importance.

Think of your ego like that friend who always says, “Nah, let’s not do that, we might look dumb.”

But what if we told that friend to shut up for a second?

We’d probably end up trying more things, learning faster, and maybe even having fun.

2. Laugh at Ourselves

Growing up, I was the class clown, always cracking jokes—even if it got me into trouble—because laughter made me happy.

As adults, we get told to be serious, fear failure, and worry about what others think. But that mindset is paralyzing.

Laughter is our best weapon against the spotlight effect.

When we stop taking ourselves so seriously, we start to see how little those small mishaps matter.

It’s scientifically proven to reduce stress, and it just makes life more fun.

3. Remember Seneca’s Wisdom

When life feels like a dumpster fire, it’s usually because we’re too scared to roast marshmallows over it.

Seneca, the wise old dude, reminds us, “It’s not that things are difficult that we don’t dare; it’s that we don’t dare that makes them difficult.”

Moral of the story? When life feels tough, it’s usually because we’re too scared to step out of our comfort zone to make it better. So, let's choose to lighten up, or we'll just keep adding fuel to the fire.

4. Channel Your Inner Playful Zen Master

Successful people don’t shy away from challenges—they embrace them with a lighter heart.

They’ve learned to laugh at their failures, and it’s that resilience that makes them stronger.

The less seriously you take the concept of “I,” the more freely you can act without the burden of fear holding you back.

It’s like they say: "Let go, or be dragged." The sooner we do, the sooner we start enjoying the ride.

Final Thoughts:

Look, none of us have it all figured out. Life’s like an improv show, and we’re all just winging it through the unpredictable.

So why not enjoy the chaos when it comes?

Laugh at your mistakes, let go of what you can’t control, and remember that we’re all just a bunch of imperfect people trying to make it through the day.

Let’s make a pact: we’ll laugh more, stress less, and remind each other that life’s too short to take everything so seriously. After all, it’s the plot twists that make the story worth telling.

#OvercomeFear #SpotlightEffect #GrowthMindset #SimpleGuideToLife #LaughMore