Part 9 - Not Broken Just Damaged - A Walk Across America 2015
With the guys from Fat Boys Pizza, Johnstone, RI

Part 9 - Not Broken Just Damaged - A Walk Across America 2015

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Part 9 is going to cover from Seekonk, MA, through Providence, RI and eventually ending in Killingly, CT - 30 plus miles and crossing two State Lines, crazy huh?

Lots of crazy, wonderful things happened on this day of my Walk and I've been pouring over photographs, Facebook comments and my on journal, to accurately get everything in the right order. I have found myself smiling, laughing, wincing and crying as I've been going through all of this; it's like I'm reliving it all again and I can hear peoples voices in my head and see peoples faces, as these events happened.

...or maybe it's just the Jose Cuervo Tequila that I like to sip on as I write? Call it my muse...

I never imagined that writing this would be such an emotionally charged experience for me and, as I write all of this, it as if I am transported back to each individual event.

If you ever have a spare hour or two, please browse through this Facebook page, going back to when I was doing my Walk and have a read at the comments from people; it will literally leave you bleary eyed; the sheer outpouring of support and kindness was, for me, unprecedented.

I set off from the Ramada Hotel, Seekonk, MA with an excitement that only fans of The Eagles and Don Henley would understand. One of my favourite Eagles songs is "The Last Resort" and I had listened to it hundreds of times. So, to be waking up that morning and walking into "...Providence...the one in Rhode Island..." was like teleporting myself into that song. Having listened to the song so many times, it had created an image in my head of Providence that I now couldn't wait to experience...I know it sounds silly...it's hard for me to explain. I had the same feeling when I imagined myself walking through Winslow, AZ, about 2000 miles ahead of me; I wanted to "stand on a corner in Winslow, Arizona", it was like a Bucket List for me. Unfortunately, I was never to reach Arizona, so that's still to be ticked off.

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I "think" this is outside the Ramada Hotel, just before I set off. But it might be the Marriott Hotel, Danbury, CT.

I can't find any written description of it. Nor can I remember who this beautiful lady is, which annoys me.

I set off early that morning as I wanted to get through Providence before rush hour hit. I felt great; energised, confident, happy even and it seemed as if I had been walking for my entire life; everything felt normal, natural, as if this was what I was meant to be doing.

Providence did not disappoint; it was beautiful...just beautiful. It had a feeling about it...it made me feel as if I was walking through the Stones in Outlander; going back to another time in history and never wanting to go back to the future; the past has always been more alluring to me. Given the opportunity, I'd go back to 1920's Paris in a heartbeat; I'm a sucker for days of a by-gone era...always have been...always will be...the present sucks ass.

Anyway, I'm walking through Providence...things are going well, it's not too busy yet and I'm starting to believe that I'm gonna get through this beautiful city without too much trouble.

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As I'm walking along Broadway, just passing Starbucks (photo right)...my tyre blows. It's about 7.30am and although I have puncture repair kit and spares, this is a massive fucking blowout...bigger than anything that my repair kit can handle and bigger than any previous puncture I've had...the last time I seen a hole this big in anything, was in Afghanistan.

My previous upbeat mood, immediately got torpedoed...RPG'd...IED'd and I stood there, in the middle of a construction site coming to life, in the middle of Providence thinking:

"...why?...God...why me...? Why now?...like I don't have more than enough to worry about?...You do this?...Now...?...What more do you want me to do? I thought we'd had this conversation already...? I thought we had an agreement?...an understanding...?

This was one of many conversations I had with "Him" on my Walk; some were fruitful...they were good...they were positive...they made me feel cleansed...but my over-riding opinion was that "He" was messing with me...playfully toying with...throwing things at me to see what I'd do...and I didn't yet know why? I still don't...

Years ago, just after I had left British Military Intelligence and went to work "privately"...I had reason to be in London and I had found myself, unconsciously and yet consciously, gravitating towards St. Pauls Cathedral.

NOTE: I should say that what I'm about to tell you, only three people know about...my ex-wife, my current partner and my older sister .

I suddenly, but not surprisingly, found myself in St Pauls, kinda attaching myself onto a guided tour. I wasn't quite sure why I was there....and yet I knew "exactly" why I was there...but not quite knowing how to instigate a conversation that was long overdue.

I came across a sign in the Cathedral that said "...if you'd like to talk to someone, in confidence, please press this bell"...or something like that.

...I pressed it...

A Minister, Bishop, Cardinal...The Pope...came and took me into a glass walled room...!!! A glass walled fucking room...in St Pauls? Yeah...no privacy there folks. He sat next to me and asked me what was on my mind...

...I told him...I told him all the stuff I had done...the lives taken...the duplicity?...the carnage?...the violence?...the lies...? and I asked him if he thought that God would take into consideration "why" I had done it? This was his response:

"....No Neil...you are responsible for everything you have done and God will not forgive nor make exceptions for bad deeds done for good intentions, regardless of the reasons why..."

It floored me...it destroyed me a little and it set about a series of events that made me doubt the very existence of God...I was angry...(not ashamed of what I had done)...but angry that an all forgiving God, wouldn't forgive ME....!!!

I left St. Pauls Cathedral a lesser man than I had entered it...

Anyway, back to Providence and my punctured tyre....

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Step in, Bobby and Heather (left); two construction workers who happened to be starting work that morning. They came over, had a look at the puncture and brought back a massive adhesive rubber patch from their tool bag, which would at least get me to a Bike Shop somewhere. As I was fixing my tyre, Heather walked across to Starbucks and bought me coffee. Once again, I was seeing and meeting people, who had nothing to gain, helping me and this constant show of human kindness was really making me see everything in a different light.

Heather and Bobby, not only fixed my puncture, with their own tools, they also pointed me in the direction of where I might find some spares, inners, tubes etc. which was literally about a further 20 minute walk along Broadway.

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I thanked Bobby and Heather, took a quick photo to record the moment and continued along Broadway towards Dash Bike Shop (right). When I got there, about 8am, it was still closed and I had an hour to kill until they opened, so I walked down Broadway for about another 100m, found a beautiful little Cafe with tables on the sidewalk.

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I parked up my stroller at Juliens Restaurant, took a seat on the sidewalk, ordered a coffee and I sat there and watched Providence go by on a beautiful sunny morning. As I sat there, I updated my Walk's Facebook status with more puncture stories. Little did I know the response that this status update would actually have for the remainder of that day.

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As I was walking towards Dash Bike Shop, about 5 minutes after saying goodbye to Bobby and Heather, I got a Facebook message from Johnny DiGioia (right) a guy I had never met before. He asked me where I was and about 2 mins later he pulled up in front of me on Broadway, climbed out his car (literally abandoning it in the middle of the street), walked over and shook my hand...just like that. These little and random acts of kindness and support were simply awe inspiring to me...he was a very cool guy who did a very cool thing.


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I finished my coffee and walked back to Dash Bike Shop and who was waiting for me? Don Doucette and his beautiful Impala (left) The Dash Bike Shop is directly behind the tree. My Guardian Angel had, once again, driven all the way from his home with John Buchanan, to come help. John was another Route 6 aficionado; he loved everything vintage. It was John who had, at an early point on my route, asked about how my hands were holding up, pushing the stroller. I was using Oakley Gloves, which were fine but a little bit heavy. So, that day, John gave me 3 pairs of vintage leather Driving Gloves.

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I know this seems like a small gesture and nothing to get too excited about...but these were "Vintage" driving gloves (Don and John still wore them when driving the Impala) and this was a big deal to me. The photo on the right is the only pair I have left; the other two pairs were lost by the Airline, along with all my other clothes and Walk equipment, when I flew back to the UK...fuckers!


When Dash Bike Shop opened, all three of us went in and the guys at Dash were brilliant. What they didn't have in stock, they phoned round other Bike Shops in Providence and made sure I had everything I needed before stepping off again. Before I left Providence, I had the pleasure of sliding into the back of the Impala for a drive through Providence with John and Don, as we visited another Bike Shop...I fell in love with that car...the smell of it, the noise it made when the ignition was turned on...the purr of the engine as Don gunned the throttle; I can still hear it now.

I set off from Providence, way behind time but giving a fuck because the events and the people that I met in Providence, was worth every minute.

My walk along Route 6 was, for the most part, pretty uneventful. I was heading towards Killingly, CT and crossed over the Rhode Island/Connecticut State Line at Cucumber Hill Rd and marked off another State walked across.

I was starting to get tired as I approached Killingly, CT and still had nowhere booked to stay for that night. As I pulled into an old abandoned motel on Route 6A, there was a guy sitting on the trunk of his car playing the guitar...but I'm on the phone to a buddy of mine, way back in Boston, MA, who's telling me that he's on route to meet up with me to bring me some spare tubes and some man-love (the good kind).

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I come off the phone and go to move off and suddenly, this guitar playing guy, slides off his trunk, walks up to me and says "...Hey Neil...I'm Floyd Holt..."

The photo is of Floyd (right), Jim (centre) and Jason (left)

Floyd is an Iraq veteran, lives in CT and had been talking to me a lot over Facebook. Floyd suffers with PTSD and has had a rough time of it since leaving the Army. I won't go into any more detail than that, except to say that when a person says they have reached rock-bottom, they generally haven't reached it...Floyd had reached it and was still in it when we met that day and yet had still taken the time to jump in his car and wait for me to walk by...that is the true sign of a Veteran supporting other Veterans, regardless of his own torment.

So I get chatting to Floyd. Meanwhile, unbeknown to me, Don and Nancy Douchette, are further down the road at the local Police Station looking for a place for me to stay and literally harassing the Police to "do something" to help me 😂

THEN....

My mate Jason turns up....all the way from Boston, MA (although he's Texan) with a trunk full of spare tyres and inner tubes.

THEN....the caretaker (Jim) of the abandoned motel turns up, wanting to know what we're all doing on his property? It was crazy!

I tell him what I'm doing and he becomes another cool guy.

THEN...

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Two patrol cars turn up to give me a lift to the place that Don and Nancy have found me. I dismantle my rig and pile into the back of Officer Bill McGuires patrol car (right), who's also a Veteran and who's son was serving in Iraq at the time.

So there's me, Jason, Floyd, Jim the Caretaker guy, Don, Nancy and Bill...I mean motorists were slowing down as they drove by to see what was going on...it was crazy.

Bill asks me if I wanna strip down my stroller and put into the trunk of the patrol car and as I'm stripping it down, he notices the sheathed knife on my hip. He changes his stance, puts one hand, very subtly, on his side arm and asks me in the most politest of ways;

Bill: "...hey Neil...that a knife there on your hip..?"

Me: "...Yessir..."

Bill: "...ok...well before you get in my vehicle...you're gonna have to give me that off your hip...just lay it on the ground...right there...ok..?"

I knew what was happening and I was totally cool with it. He had a job to do...he didn't know me and he was very, very cool in the way he gave me instructions.

I placed it on the ground, where he pointed to and I say to him:

Me: "...hey Bill..."

Bill: "...yeah Neil..."

Me (smiling): "...you want ALL my knives or what...?"

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Bill shakes his head in disbelief as I started pulling out knives from my stroller and cockpit bag and one I had in my pocket.

I was like Officer Tackleberry from Police Academy.

I laid them on the ground and took a step back. Bill stepped forward, picked them up and put them in his cruiser, then told me to get my ass in the back.

We all convoyed down to the Budget Inn Motel, in Killingly and meet Don and Nancy, who also paid for my night there....they're amazing people.

Jason, Floyd and I then headed out for some beers and food and I crawled into bed about 10.30pm that night.

It was an off-the-wall-crazy day...but a good crazy.

The days that followed would be crazier.









Mark Armstrong

Managing Director at MA Ventures Limited

4y

Brilliant pal!!

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Well done mate, go noisy.

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Kevin Swinney

Security Consultant | MSc in Security Management

4y

Neil Fully understand the need to be in a particular mind set. From the readers perspective, justice done to all who helped on that leg of the journey. Nice one 👍

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Bryce Brown

Maintenance Team Leader at Aggregate Industries

4y

Love it mucker 👍 some journey pal👍

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Robert Ellis

President, Defense Consultants, Inc. Defense Technology Executive

4y

Neil Well done again.

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