Partners in crime

We’re having a battle of wills over here. I’m losing terribly. 

Let me set the scene.

My kids are 16 months apart. The younger is 10 months, the older just over 2. Honestly, for having 2 under 2, I really thought we were doing pretty well. But then our daughter started crawling, and all hell has broken loose. Our son never crawled. We tried, repeatedly, but he would just lay there squawking like some sort of beached animal. He mostly refused to even try, happy to be carried around. Then, at 12 months, he just stood up and walked, like it was no big deal (a few months later he broke his foot, and that’s when he finally learned to crawl!). Our daughter on the other hand has been attempting to crawl from day one. She used to try and roll to reach her brother. Always eager to be by his side. Now she’s like a turtle on steroids, just speeding across our house. 

It hasn’t been pretty. We live in a 1 story house, we have only 1 stair. She goes off that stair multiple times a day without fail. She’s also a big fan of dog food - she sometimes puts it in the water bowl first, soaks it, then eats it. It’s charming. 

Throughout this transformation from immobile blob to highly mobile threat, our son has been watching with increasing concern. Now all bets are off. She can reach toys. She can crawl into a lap. She demands more attention. Things are getting risky for him. 

His new move is putting toys on the coffee so she can’t reach. Joke’s on him though, she can now pull herself up to standing and reach things on tables. It’s only a matter of time before he has nowhere left to hide, and he knows it. 

He alternates between desperately trying to make his sister laugh, and desperately wanting her gone. And he’s 2, so he doesn’t really know how to handle those conflicting emotions. No surprise, it ends in a lot of screaming, throwing, grabbing, and hitting. 

I first tried explaining why none of those are OK. I then tried a very firm ‘no’. Nothing was working. Enter the time out. And so begins our battle. Things went well at first. I explained a time out, he sat alone until the timer went off. After a few times, my daughter started crawling over to her brother and sitting with him during time out, so that was decidedly less effective. Now, if he hits his sister, before I can even say anything, he looks right at me and says “mama, time out” and off he goes to serve his time, soon followed by his sister. 

As one friend put it, “oh, you’re screwed. He just flat out stole your power.” And truly, it kind of feels that way. I also do love watching them sit together in time out - what else is a sibling if not someone who will sit by your side no matter what? 

I clearly need some new strategies though, so I’m very open to ideas, experiences, or stories that’ll make us laugh. If you’ve got multiple kids at home, how are they interacting? How do you deal with punishment?

Kunik Convos

• Who else has dealt with loss recently? How are you processing?
• 10 points if you can top this family costume idea
• These are the best and worst states to have a baby 
• Will the potential childcare cap impact you 
• I’m struggling to address conflict at work 
• What’s the last awkward convo you had?
• This is really wearing me down 
• Woof. 

Kunik Bites 

• Don’t let hybrid work set-back your DEI efforts 
• How everyday sexism could prevent you from getting a promotion 
• Is childcare a public responsibility 
• Childcare crisis keeps on ticking 
• Why women are more burnout than men
• Are your kids holding you back from promotion?
• Is everyone having fun except parents?
• Is it ok to ditch family dinner?
• Hello, this is your kid’s school