Patience and Surrender in Portugal

Over the past 26 months Portugal has taught me a really embodied lesson of Releasing, Letting Go and Surrendering. Oh and Patience.

The things I can NOT control (which is most things), I have to release.

Getting Portuguese Residency was a breeze for me… in December 2020, 22 days before Brexit, I flew to Portugal.

Glided into a local Municipality Office.

Waved my British Passport (because on that date I was still an EU Citizen).

Filled in a form.

Paid €15.

And 2 days later picked up a letter confirming I had Portuguese Residency for 5 years.

It was completely Surreal.

It was so simple.

So easy and effortless, and so flowing that I was convinced that moving to Portugal was being guided by the Universe.

Especially because it was only in November (one month earlier) that we’d started the proper research about how to make it happen.

I went back to South Africa, we packed up our lives, sold almost everything. And on 17 June 2021 - after 3 failed attempts to get on planes due to Covid - we landed as a family in Portugal.

I had been told that it would take Geoff and Luke between 3 to 6 months to get their residency under family reunification. But normally about 2 to 3 months.

With so much flow for my residency… I was in full expectation of the continued ease and flow.

It was NOT to be…

We had the ease in the take-off phase but the landing was bumpy as all hell.

To cut a 26 month story short - we got caught up in the CrossHairs of the Brexit Political SNAFU. (Situation Normal - All Fucked Up).

Countless phone calls to immigration, emails, trying to contact embassies, connecting with others to see what they were doing, trying to pull strings when we realized people had “contacts”… with zero movement or results.

I had so many moments of hair-pulling, gnashing of teeth and lots of swearing. 😡😨👿

It essentially meant the Geoff couldn’t leave Portugal and travel to do his Marine Engineering work. Couldn’t open a bank account here.

He wasn’t an illegal alien but a legal alien… and there was nothing we could do about it.

We worked a way that he was able to work but only at about 20% of his normal capacity.

I was so upset about it, because Geoff’s work and the abundance of it throughout Europe was my main reason for coming to Portugal.

We had friends who arrived in Portugal 6 months after us on a different visa who got their residency within 3 months. I was happy for them, but really unhappy for us.

It was in May 2021 after 11 months of fighting, tears and frustration that I just “let it go”….

I realized that all the frustration and anger was preventing me from being present in my life and from enjoying Portugal. I was getting angry about the Portuguese systems and bureaucracy and it was stopping me from participating in life in Portugal, because everything was clouded with this lens of frustration.

It was causing nonsense in my relationship with Geoff and in my family life…

So on a sunny May afternoon, I sat on my veranda and just “Let it Go and surrendered.”

I had no control.

What followed that Letting go was peace. I became more productive, I enjoyed the Portugal summer, I made friends - things felt lighter.

And then came the gratitude and appreciation.

Geoff and I kept reminding each other to be grateful for what we DID have… the jobs he was getting in Portugal. The lovely people we were meeting and interacting with. So much together time as a family in Luke’s baby and toddler days. A fabulous Xmas holiday in the Algarve with friends.

In November 2022 there was some movement that re-sparked hope, because I was called to come for Biometrics to get my “Post-Brexit” Residency Card. And then we thought - okay, Geoff and Luke will be soon-soon.

And again in January, I had to Release, Let Go and Surrender… (It was quicker and easier to unhook from the expectations and surrender again the second time round.)

And then out of the blue last Friday, I got a call from someone saying:

“I’m calling from SEF (the Immigration department) and we have made an appointment for Geoff and Luke for 25 August, but I’m wondering if you’d like an earlier appointment?”

I was flabbergasted “Are you joking?!” I said.

When he assured me he was from SEF, I burst into tears.

“Ma’am, you don’t need to cry,” he tried placating me.“I’m happy,” I gasped through the tears “And yes, what’s the earliest appointment you can give me?”

“Oh and you don’t need to bring any documentation - Geoff and Luke have been approved, so it’s just their passports and biometrics we need,” he said.

“I’m going to bring everything with me anyway, just in case” I replied.

And so yesterday on 17 August exactly 26 months to the day after Geoff and Luke first arrived in Portugal, they became Portuguese Residents.

The Immigration guy on the phone said “We are so sorry it has taken so long, we’ve had lots of issues in SEF and with Brexit. And you are the first Brexit family we are processing.”

And yesterday the guy who was helping us, kept asking his supervisor questions and at the end he said “I have to keep asking my supervisor questions, because you are the first Brexit Family we have processed.”

How we got to the front of the Brexit Family queue I have no idea…

… Perhaps that is the magic of surrender! ✨✨

To say we are SO excited and relieved is an understatement… This will make a huge difference for our family.