Peace for Rent

Let's LARP on shall we? (LARP = Live Action Role Play).

THE FOLLOWING IS A WORK OF FICTION.

Firstly, the Royals think their absurd hotel is like Hogwarts or something, it's hilarious. I am not in a position to confirm or deny any craziness. QE version 4.0.01 let Camilla run the thing and she thought it was amazing but she's too down-to-Earth to do harm to a real person. We call the old Queen QE Part 4, and Princess Diana is spoken of on some websites that she still lives. It's all very top secret so don't quote me on that. Remember I'm a comedy writer so don your tin foil hats and let's continue:

There are more powerful "imagineers" who are expert Asian mind acrobats that take over the narrative for the powerful and probe possible outcomes, something the actual world powers do not have time to do : spend all day on drugs in a 'viewing room' doing weird bullshit. Nobody gets to influence world politics by talking to me, or anything I do so knock off the 'cashless society' gag, I need money for my proper diet.

Keeping up with the Clintons -- Spirit Cooking : Aha! Now we're cookin'. What is it? Spirit Cooking was a comedy art piece in 1996 by a one Marina Abramović. Wait, what? It's a comedy performing art piece. Comedy writers save the world again! Huzzah!

As for the money of the world and whatnot, relax! Every world power gets a proportionate amount, and I get the equivalent of 14.44 Million dollars, divided between myself and my sister Chasity Ann Berast. Sorry, Ms. Traci Clark of B.C. Mineral Mining, but ya never wrote back! Hah.

Everybody up to date?

Keeping up with the Clintons, OK, from a top secret underground bunker in Virgina near Washington, D.C. they gave Hilary the reigns of the Nikola Tesla Test Subject to see what would happen. Hilary wanted Native American casino money or something? We won't hold her to that.

Slick Willie (William 'bill' Jefferson Clinton) wanted Lewinski to think he had a dick so they did their under-the-desk White House thing in the 1990s, Lewinski confirms : nothing, haha. She confirms nothing. No comment, I mean. Something like that.

"He wanted to drop his pants to show me he didn't have a penis. I told him he'd better not, or it's sexual harassment. But with no penis, I mean, what could I say?" -Lewinski (remember, this is fake and I'm a comedy writer - cpb)

Here are some actual quotes from the Spirit Cooking MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) article and do check out the other articles on various topics on the MIT website:

For the record: Spirit Cooking is nothing but a little-known (and, measured in her ouvre, a rather throwaway) performance Abramovic did in an Italian gallery in 1996, in which she painted apparent instructions on the white wall with pigs blood. Instructions like: “with a sharp knife cut deeply into the middle finger of your left hand eat the pain.” She also painted a small kind of icon in the corner with the blood too. It’s pretty repulsive and rather luridly aims to shock but it’s also clearly not serious. Abramovic also published a Spirit Cooking cookbook, containing comico-mystical, self-helpy instructions like: “spit inside your naval / until the lake is filled / lie motionless / listen to the heartbeat / of a dog.” You’re not really meant to actually do these things...

At the end of the workshop in Andalusia I was surprised when, after five days of starvation and detoxification of the body and the psyche, Marina cracked open a can of caffeine, sugar, and artificial color-filled Fanta one morning. When I joked with her that she was undoing all that detoxification in a stroke, she said rapturously “Baby, come on, the Fanta is beyond!

But did it work? I'm not sure what they were trying to do, lol. Donald Trump's great-grandfather ended up with all Nicola Tesla's notes and ... did stuff with them. The point is, Moloch worship tears one person into 7 directions but with the Lord Jesus Christ at my helm, all I can do is be a casual observer on life : everybody wants everything but doesn't want to share with anybody, which means nothing to everyone.

Only time will tell. It's the last day of my winter vacation! Happy New Year, Happy Chinese New Year, and Happy back-to-work ya lazy jabronis! Peace be upon you and my peace I'll rent it to ya at a reasonable rate.

For how the economy has affected this comedy writer, for LinkedIn, I'm Calvin P. Berast. GF