The "Peacocking" Paradox

Using video to build our Personal Brand doesn't need to be an exercise in showmanship

Peacocking according to the Urban dictionary means dressing for attention. just like a Peacock uses its feathers to get a mate. In the world of dating, its most often associated with Pick Up Artists (PUA's) who dress and behave in a way that maximises their chances of picking up a girl.

A while back, I read The Game by Neil Strauss which shines a light on the world of the PUA and Peacocking. For sure it was an entertaining read but it left a bad taste in my mouth. Most of the characters described in the book were deeply insecure young men who would try anything to "get laid". If dressing up outrageously was required then that's what they'd do.

However, this wasn't who they were as a person. Peacocking was a brute force effort for them, not something that they effortlessly stepped into. As the saying goes "you can fool some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time".

This equally applies to the approach we take to marketing ourselves as professionals to attract new jobs, clients, contracts etc. In a world of ever shrinking attention span, its tempting to take the role of the mate seeking Peacock. To dress and/or behave in a way that isn't congruent with who we really are.

The immersive nature of Social Media is exacerbating this situation. The need to be at the top of your friends/families/customers Facebook/Twitter/Linkedin News Feed; the realisation that "everyone" is getting into video as a personal marketing tool and you must do so as well.

Substance over style should always win out in the long run. However, this cannot disguise the reality that personal marketing is a process that doesn't sit comfortably on the shoulders of the people I refer to as natural reflectors (we prefer our own company more of the time).

The idea of "peacocking" via personal photo's and videos is at best intimidating and at worst abhorrent. Our best friend is the written word; the blog article, white paper or e-book. All great self marketing tools but not sufficient to capture the attention of the multi-device switching recruiter or prospect.

So what to do about this conundrum? Hide under the duvet covers? Hope that this video fad will disappear in the not too distant future? Alas, that's not going to happen. Online video consumption is growing rapidly among all consumer segments. It's very quick and easy to consumer and engages emotional parts of the brain that the written word doesn't.

Video can be the friend of the camera shy if we understand how to embrace it. This starts with reframing our ingrained beliefs about how we're expected to look and behave in front of a camera.

A good starting point on this journey is to make a point of not comparing yourself to other people who operate in the same professional space as you. "The curse of comparison" is rife in today's society and its not limited to angst ridden teenagers!

Sure, others may present themselves in what you perceive to be a more polished and confident way than you could possibly dream of. Nonetheless, that's your perception and your perception only.

Secondly, embrace being imperfect! It;s so often the case that the biggest barrier to getting started in developing a new skill is the fear of looking foolish, particularly when your fledgling efforts are there for the world to see. Ironically however, authenticity always beats perfectionism! Whoever your audience is, you will garner far more respect from them by posting a few short videos of your practice efforts than one highly polished video.

Finally, building on the above, don't obsess over the quality of the environment and cost of the equipment you need to record your video. A recent model iPhone or Android will do the job.

Video is here to stay and unquestionably it can used as a powerful self-marketing tool. However its not to be all and end all. As any Pick Up Artist will confess, the paradox of Peacocking is that its impact is short lived. The bolder strategy to attracting and sustaining relationships is to remove all of the fakeness and just be ourselves. Easily said but a challenge to commit to.

I've launched the "Own Your Quiet" project as a way of creating a dialogue around what it takes to build an authentic Personal Brand in a hyperconnected, distracted world. Join the community at www.ownyourquiet.com