Peekaboo, I See You --- More Than Meets the Eye to Make Others Feel Seen

Last week I hosted a baby shower for my daughter. Yes, I am going to be a grandmother in June!

A quick glance at the event would have informed you that 30 plus women were enjoying each other’s company. A few mid-day cocktails were consumed. Light snacks nibbled. The buzz uplifting. These big picture outcomes contributed to my daughter’s joy and morning-after comment: “I slept with a smile!”

Yet, without the countless behind-the-scenes details that took place weeks before the event, I’m certain her thank you would have been less enthusiastic.

Days before the baby shower she simultaneously shared her excitement and her fear.

• “This feels bigger than my wedding shower.”
• “What if the room isn’t decorated? Mom, the room will be decorated, right?”
• “Did Bridgette RSVP yet?”

Her angst told me she was excited about the upcoming birth of her son and the importance she placed on sharing it with friends and family. At this momentous time in her life, my daughter wanted to be seen!

What questions and comments do your clients and stakeholders ask that tell you they want to be seen? What do you do to make them feel seen?

START BY LISTENING

“Yes honey, of course, the room will be decorated.”

I could have gone to Party City or Paper Warehouse to purchase standard baby blue plates and streamers. But that’s not what I did. I wanted Ali (her name has been changed to protect the innocent) to feel seen. So, I started searching for a theme by listening to her.

Once the date was picked, I asked her for an update on decorating the baby’s room? Had she decided on color or wallpaper?

She had. The nursery would be decorated in a nautical them with sailboats.

That was it! I would plan a baby shower with a nautical theme. Listening to Ali made her feel seen.

How do you listen to your clients and stakeholders?

DETAILS DICTATE BEYOND-THE-OBVIOUS ACTIONS

Next invitations. Again, I could have purchased cookie cutter “It’s A Boy” baby shower invitations. You can get them anywhere at a retail store or online. That would have been easy.

Instead, I researched nautical themed invitations and landed on “Ahoy, It’s A Boy!” One word, one detail transformed mundane into special.

Not only were decorations important to Ali, but involving her mother-in-law, sister, and sister-in-law in the planning gave her a sense that the family saw her too! I organized a planning meeting. Everyone agreed to take part in the planning.

MANAGE THE MINUTIAE; SHARE THE BIG PICTURE

Early in my marketing career, I learned that ads detailing the brick-by-brick building of a house performed far worse than ads highlighting the glorious, finished house.

Moral of the stats: Share the big picture while you manage the details that lead to the desired outcome.

• Once I narrowed invitations to two, I asked Ali to choose her favorite.
• As decorations were chosen, I shared with Ali to build excitement.
• As friends RSVP’d, I texted her, “Guess who said yes?”
• When I bought a special dress to wear as mother of the mother-to-be, I shared that too!

Research shows that anticipation releases dopamine, sometimes referred to as the happy hormone. When planning an event, a product release, or even a marketing campaign, build an onramp for anticipation. Ask, what is my equivalent of House for Sale Coming Soon?

Do you build anticipation into your business and leadership growth strategies?

CREATE COMMUNITY WITH EXCEPTIONAL SERVICE

Creating community may be the most important aspect of making others feel seen. When businesses foster a culture of community with service as its pillar, they create the opportunity for each customer, client, advocate, and staff member to feel seen and heard.

This, however, does not happen without careful planning and intentionality. I use the term intentionality because it refers to a mindset. The Oxford Dictionary defines intentionality as:

“A deliberate philosophy. A quality of mental thoughts, beliefs, desires, and hopes being directed toward some object or state of affairs.”

Prior to the baby shower, I planned an agenda. It included standing in the foyer to greet the guests, time to socialize, a quick welcome and thank you before eating, games, opening shower gifts, and distribution of favors as guests were leaving.

The party favors, soap cut into blue anchors with a note saying, “From my shower to yours, thank you,” were small, but significant. They showed intentionality and a continuation of the theme. A small detail that created a large impact.

I took time to introduce myself to the many guests I was meeting for the first time and to hug those whom I already knew.

During my welcome remarks, I introduced everyone who helped plan the event and thanked the guests for joining us. Heartfelt gratitude goes a long way in making others feel seen.

How do you take to create a culture of community? What small, purposeful steps do you take to create large impact?

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If you are looking for business and leadership growth support from a consultant who understands it’s the details that make a difference, let’s talk. Email me at terri@terristurner.com to schedule your free discovery call.